I'm concerned that you made it all the way to the liquor store. I know from your posts how much you value and love your AF life and would be devastated if you lost it. I'm not at all shocked that you felt the way you did and that the escape we all know is so dang effective was alluring, but it worries me that you did not reach out for help before deciding to go to the store.
You are such a help to others on MWO but I hope you feel like you can ask for help, too. The first time I posted about wanting to drink after several months of feeling very strong and posting wildly about the virtues of AF living, I felt really embarrassed but because MWO is my only source of support, I decided to just get it out here. The responses from others with much more time AF than I had were so reassuring. It didn't mean that I had been 'faking it' for all those months and was a total hypocrite or that I was still actively addicted - old responses die hard and maybe at some level, will always be there. Anyway, the people here helped me get my head back to where I wanted it to be.
Like I said yesterday, situations like the one you're experiencing are looming for me. My parents still are very important people in my life and frankly, I cannot really let myself imagine their being gone. It will be tough. But, I don't want to find myself at the liquor store. And I don't want you to go there again, either :hug:. Please be sure to have all the support you may need in place during what may be a challenging time. PM me if you'd like to exchange phone numbers.
xx NS
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