Dedicated to the quit we love

[All done drinking]

abcowboy,

Not a rambling post but one filled with good info, insight, and wonderful information. I think I'll go to Amazon and purchase the book you recommended. Sounds very helpful. I have been doing the same with reading a lot of books. The difference is I am re-reading books I purchased in the past and finding them very interesting as I am reading them now with a different mindset, not one where I think I can moderate my drinking but one in which I finally accept the reality that I need to quit. I hope Byrdie won't mind me quoting her but found a comment she made on a thread she made about 3 years ago where she said "Moderators don't know they are." Now isn't THAT the truth. People without drinking problems don't count drinks, try to curtail drinks, or talk about "moderating" drinks because they don't have a problem. I always knew I had a problem, I just wasn't ready to quit drinking and desperately wanted to believe i could control the amount if I was more aware. It was that inability to be able to always control things that made me finally have to say enough. I know the relapse rate is high. I also know my biggest weakness will be wanting to believe I can just have one drink after some good AF time has passed so I appreciate you sharing your struggles abcowboy. My biggest challenge now will be to live up to a new line I came across the other day that I totally relate to: "I made a million vows to control my drinking, I made only one vow to quit.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!) :love:

[abcowboy]

[Spiritfree]

Thread summary

For my own use (and maybe a few others)-I wanted to put down on paper (digital) what this AWESOME! thread is all about and summarize my interpretation.

PURPOSE OF THREAD:

• Milepost sharing and acknowledging (alcohol free time)
• Weekly discussions: A single topic relative to abstinence will be the primary focus for discussions
• Sharing positive experiences relative to abstinence or becoming abstinent



WEEKLY DISCUSSION: WEEK 01

• TIPS AND TRICKS THAT CAN HELP AVOID RELAPSE



(Please let me know if you want to remove this post OR to make any changes in wording or to add words -thanks sf)

[All done drinking]

Thanks Spiritfree,

I think you've summarized this thread very well. We don't want people to feel that things or the discussion topic are written in stone. We just wanted to create a topic every week to be used as a guideline for what to discuss so we all stayed focus on some aspect of recovery for group sharing. The topic for this new week is:
Keeping Bordeom at Bay

So many of us drinkers can agree that there was always something to do when it came to drinking...Happy hour, staying the latest at the party to keep drinking, sitting on the patio with drink in hand, etc. So, when the drinks are removed, some folks go "Now what do I do?" So, will be interesting to discuss how much people accomplish and what they do and get done when drinking isn't the big focus in their lives. And of course, everyone is welcome to post anything on any of the previous subjects that will help the group.

Thanks!

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!)

[abcowboy]

-SF- just a slight change to the format, I will no longer be posting sober milestones/birthdays on any other thread except the 24 Hour Club, other than that, your summary is spot on! Thanks...

[Spiritfree]

Thread summary
For my own use (and maybe a few others)-I wanted to put down on paper (digital) what this AWESOME! thread is all about and summarize my interpretation.

PURPOSE OF THREAD:

• Weekly discussions: A single topic relative to abstinence will be the primary focus for discussions
• Sharing positive experiences relative to abstinence or becoming abstinent
• Comments and sharing about all other previous topics (or new topics any poster wants to bring up)

The thread is meant to be "all" inclusive -meaning that no one should refrain from posting for any reason (other than posts to create turmoil). Of course this is only interpretation of this thread and I believe that has the ability to be a long running, active, participatory, helping kind of thread .



WEEKLY DISCUSSION: WEEK 01
• TIPS AND TRICKS THAT CAN HELP AVOID RELAPSE

WEEKLY DISCUSSION: WEEK 02
• KEEPING BOREDOM AT BAY

ADD and ABC -again, thank you both for starting this thread. I really do hop others start contributing to this thread.
--sf--

[NoSugar]

WEEKLY DISCUSSION: WEEK 02
• KEEPING BOREDOM AT BAY

I spent a great deal of my new-found time after I quit learning everything I could about the science of addiction - sort of a "know your enemy" type of thing. It helped me distance myself in a way and make rational rather than emotional choices when I wanted to drink. It also gave me respect for the power of the problem but at the same time, confidence that it could be managed -- addiction is strong but I have the power not to take that first drink.

[Spiritfree]

I spent a great deal of my new-found time after I quit learning everything I could about the science of addiction - sort of a "know your enemy" type of thing. It helped me distance myself in a way and make rational rather than emotional choices when I wanted to drink. It also gave me respect for the power of the problem but at the same time, confidence that it could be managed -- addiction is strong but I have the power not to take that first drink.

Boredom is such a huge issue for those beginning their freedom from their alcohol free journey. Many times, perceived boredom eventually leads right back to the bottle.

Why is boredom "perceived" and not really real? Well, it actually is real. The brain functioning of one who has just quit usually finds it very difficult (if not impossible) to focus on anything unless alcohol is ingested and this is really a lie in and of itself. This thought process will recede over time -but it just takes time.

The first time that I quit (after visiting a home away from home for 90 days), I came back home and felt 'bored' again. I had to force myself to get out and try new experiences.
After 120 days of this 'trying to change" my thought process, I started right back relieving my boredom (depression) with alcohol. I was fortunate to find Baclofen which somehow allowed my brain to begin focusing on things that I liked to do or wanted to do (after about 60 days).

The main point that I want to make is that you have to 'get out' and participate in what may initially seem like very uncomfortable situations or activities to begin re-wiring your brain.

--sf--

[All done drinking]

Thanks SF. Hubby and I are on vacay so we had a quick dinner and talked about how life is different without alcohol as we would have stopped for a nightcap somewhere afterward and now it was a moment of going "Now, what do we do?" However, the drink after dinner would have put me in a little bit of a fog and nothing would have really been accomplished. Without drinking, we came home and journaled, did a quick work out, and watched a stimulating show that was interesting to talk about. If I am honest, drinking and putting myself in a "foggy" state is a waste of time and nothing gets accomplished.

I know Cognitive Behavior Therapy is all about "changing" how we think. Think I'm going to purchase that book abcowboy has been recommending. Forgetting the name but think it's mentioned in one of the previous posts here or I'll edit this post and share it when I find the name of it.

Thanks for your thoughts SF.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!)

[All done drinking]

I shared on another thread how I saw a group of people at a "painting party". These are parties where people paint and bring their own bottle. My first thought was "How could that even be fun without bringing a bottle of wine." I definitely have to get that book on Cognitive Behavior to rewire my thinking as I don't like thinking that things can't be fun without alcohol.

I do have plans to start working out more often as well as cooking more often. It was always easier to go out to dinner when wine was involved and somehow not as enticing to do so without it. However, eating out is NOT as healthy as preparing food at home as so much butter is added to foods to make them tastier as well as other unsafe preservatives and ingredients. I have actually been receiving organic meals with recipes about once a month. Fun to prepare healthy meals, and gives me good ideas for recipes or making the same thing in the future and saving money when I purchase the ingredients myself.

On vacay still (this used to be my daily drinking week) as we usually never drank on week-nights (unless I snuck a drink in) so am adjusting to having fun in other ways rather than the happy hour events that we always did.

Take care all!

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!) :love:

[Pavati]

To combat boredom:

One thing I did was download podcasts and go on many many hikes/walks. I got exercise, got nature time, and entertained my brain. I listened to the Bubble Hour and many, many more: Serial, RadioLab, This American Life, WTF, etc. This habit has stuck with me and allowed me to lose some weight, too.

[Sunbeam]

When I quit I got into reading murder mysteries. They can be quite compelling. It really isn't my preferred genre at this point, but it renewed my reading habit.

[Eloise]

As most of you know I got serious about learning to ride horseback and do yoga each morning. I have just up'd the anti on the yoga by purchasing another 30 days of yoga video serious, so now I do about 45 -50 minutes of yoga practice each morning and I feel so much better. I never thought I could make so much time for it, but I am doing it and loving it.
I am also spending more and more time with Mozart, favourite horse pal. I am with him 5 mornings a week riding and caring for him. He is happy to see me and I hope to be able to continue in the fall when I am back to work!

None of this feels like 'my dreaded routine to stay sober' either, which is so cool!
This is my new life, in my new country, with my new husband and my new horse. How about that for a life change.

[Spiritfree]

Here is my personal take on the boredom-alcohol issue:

Addictive chemicals massively change the way that we perceive and react to life. As time marches on and one continues the substance of abuse, the brain begins to physically re-wire itself. Our brains eventually require the chemical in order for it to function. When we stop giving our brains the chemical of abuse, our brains protest in fiercest of ways. The brain always uses the excuse of boredom to drive one back to alcohol (other) -and rightly so. The chemical allowed your brain to go beyond reality (so to speak). The problem then/is the fact that is there is an equal an opposite reaction to the 'high' effect -an extremely low effect. Only time free from alcohol will allow the brain to return to some form of normalcy.

I know that this might sound 'off-the-wall', so to speak, but in the beginning days of becoming alcohol free, a person must commit to not getting into negotiations with one's own brain. You can not 'think' yourself out of the next drink. It has not worked thus far and it will not work again. The only way that I found to avoid boredom and alcohol was to commit myself to doing something that would take me out of my normal comfort zone. I had to refuse to 'think' about what I wanted to do or liked to do -I only knew that I had to commit to something/things that did not involve alcohol. Initially, this is not easy, and in fact, it is hard as hell to do -to get out one's comfort zone. What is actually beginning to happen when you get out of your comfort zone, you are beginning a process of rewiring your brain. The brain will literally tell you (sometimes) that you are dying as the result of not feeding it the chemical -alcohol. The brain will do its very best to convince you that you are bored and a drink or two will relieve your boredom and you will then 'feel' ok.

[All done drinking]

I wish everyone struggling today would come over here and read this post Spirit. Very interesting info and reinforces the need to stay busy. The overused term in AA certainly applies to this post "Stinkin' Thinkin" and amazing how the brain will trick us. Especially with the boredom aspect that leads many back to drinking.

Addy