Dedicated to the quit we love

[Sunbeam]

I eat ice cream to celebrate. Turkey Hill All Natural Salted Caramel is the best! This product line has some new chocolate flavors out, I have to try those.

[little beagle]

I reward myself. I quit drinking so I could enjoy life again. New shoes at day 30. Ecpensive cologne on day 60. New dishes, day 90. And from there trips to the beach. Luch out with my daughter.
But the best reward was free. I decided to have fun with this. I now am the life of the party. Well, in my opinion. I enjoy things more then I ever did when drinking. Social events are anticipated, not dreaded. The memories are fond, not regretful.
Not drinking was the best present I ever gave myself.

[All done drinking]

Really nice post little beagle and I am going to create a plan to reward myself more. I am saving money for sure. Think I'll go the foot reflexology route.

Addy :love:

[little beagle]

:happy2:

[abcowboy]

I'm kind of like lil b, haven't really thought about rewarding myself, becoming the man I used to be before alcohol took over is a pretty big reward all by itself. Bubba tells me that I spent on average $400 per month on booze, I believe her because she does the finances in our house and I know how much beer I could put away in a week!

I haven't given it much thought, but I know I spend more money on Bubba now. Better gifts on special occasions, and of course Hank is getting a few more toys to play with lol. I'm pretty much a simple man, it doesn't take much to make me happy. With the Good Lord, Bubba, my family, Hank, and all you wonderful people here at MWO by my side, what more could I want or need!

[NoraC]

Hey - where is Addy?

[Lizann]

I'm with cowboy. I don't need much but I have treated myself to some manicures. The relief on my sons face is my reward!

[All done drinking]

Hey - where is Addy?

Thanks for asking Nora. At the airport coming home from a very desolate location where internet access was extremely limited.

I have been really having a personal struggle with our son who does so many things wrong, makes horrible choices and never seems to "get it". I know so many of my excuses to drink used to be blaming it on him. Just to run away from the reality of a kid who meets most of the criteria for sociopathic behavior - sadly! Was always a good reason to believe I needed to relax with a glass of wine that usually always led to two, sometimes more. We folks with drinking problems, always seem to come up with some excuse of why we drink (hopefully for those reading this - drank). Topic for this week is "What excuses did you use to justify your drinking?" Mine was the "escape script". What script did you use?

All Done Drinking (Addy)

[abcowboy]

Hmm, I think active alcoholics will use any excuse they can to justify their drinking, and if they can't find one, they'll lie and make one up! I'm not sure if you'd call this an excuse, but my biggest trigger was anger. The minute I got angry, I couldn't find a beer fast enough!

It didn't take my counsellor long to figure it out, and gave me a few exercises to work on. Once I was able to control my anger, my need to drink became less. And the funny thing is, now that I don't drink, I'm very seldom angry anymore! So, did I let myself get angry so I had that excuse to drink? I think so, but I do know I'm a much kinder, gentler person now that I'm sober...

[Sunbeam]

I occasionally will comment, "one excuse is as bad as another". I used the relaxation excuse, as if there were no better way in the world to relax, even though there are hundreds. Reading a good book is my favorite now I believe. Books take me to another world, and I stop thinking about this one for awhile.

[All done drinking]

I think I also used the "fantasy" escape. Glamorizing that glass of wine or champagne with the selective memory of forgetting how I didn't sleep as well, look as well, and when hungover, feel as well the next day. I have been looking at pictures of my self lately, and dang ... I like my face. No puffiness/slightly bloated look that too many wines would give me. Alcohol is so dehydrating and what keeps skin youthful is moisture. I am liking not drinking in more ways than one.

Addy~

[abcowboy]

As most of you know, I have an Uncle who will be 51 years sober this Oct 10th. He phoned me on my 6 month milestone to congratulate me. We had a long, meaningful discussion on getting and staying sober, and I asked him what he thought about the terms recovered/recovery as it pertains to alcoholism. His answer took a while to explain to me so that I could understand his point of view on it.

He said that as alcoholics, we are never cured, but in a constant state of recovery. He said at some point, we should all be able to call ourselves recovered, but not in the medical term. That we recover the person we were before alcohol took control of our lives. He told me at about 8 years sober, he felt he was on a good recovery program, being tempted very seldom, but too worried to get complacent. He said it took another 20 years before he felt he was fully recovered. Alcohol was not even a fleeting thought to him that alcohol didn’t enter into his thinking at all, except when he was trying to help other alcoholics. He could watch and be with other people who drank without any kind of thought about it. He was the person he was before he had his first drink. And he didn’t need reminding that he was just a drink away from where he had been.

His remarks gave me hope, that a life without alcohol could be very rewarding. That forever was just another word. I hope to live long enough to be able to say that I’m fully recovered as he sees it.

So my topic for discussion is, do you believe in recovered/recovery, and what it means to you….

Have a great week my friends!

[All done drinking]

Great thought provoking question abcowboy "do you believe in recovered/recovery, and what it means to you…."

For me, I believe with this disease, we are always in recovery because there are too many stories of too many years of folks in recovery who really are just the one drink away from being a drunk again. I had 7 glorious years of recovery back in the late 80s. Absolutely loved my life without alcohol. Probably had more fun than most folks because I knew I wasn't making a fool of myself because I had all of my mental capabilities. I remember my girlfriend and I dancing on a bar top once. All in good fun, nothing too risque about it although it sounds that way LOL. But it would have had a whole different meaning had I been drunk.

My demise back into drinking was foolish. I quit going to AA and had this new Aunt through marriage who wanted me to drink for some reason. She thought it would be SO nice if I would join the family and have wine with dinner. Without my support group reminding me that that was a slippery slope I let the "stinkin thinkin" (AA term) allow me to believe that I could have just one because I had been sober for 7 years and could now suddenly handle it. The first glass of wine may have been just that (just one) but then Pandora's box opened and the first time I went out with GFs to drink, I drank triple the amount than I usually drank and told the driver her husband was a *^&%. Well, he was a rude guy, but I never would have said that if I hadn't been drinking. Then life became a nightmare of trying to control that beast and often times not doing a very good job at it. I always worry when people get a little too complacent in their quit and think they don't need the help anymore. Even if they think they don't, their story, their experience helps someone else and it's so important to give back. So, I believe recovery is ongoing forever, one is never really recovered. Just like a type I diabetic is never recovered from their disease, an alcoholic isn't either, but doing the right thing to help their disease process makes their lives a whole lot better.

Addy :heartbeat:

[NoSugar]

So, I believe recovery is ongoing forever, one is never really recovered. Just like a type I diabetic is never recovered from their disease, an alcoholic isn't either, but doing the right thing to help their disease process makes their lives a whole lot better.

Words like recovery and recovered just don't fit with this experience or a couple of others I've had (celiac, T2D). To me, "in recovery" suggests that with what you're doing, you're no longer acutely ill, but you're not entirely well, either, and never will be. I think that is an unnecessary psychological burden. "Recovered" implies that whatever was going on is no longer a problem and there's nothing left to do. That would be irresponsible.

I don't consider myself "in recovery" because I'm fine - if someone examined me for the first time today, I would not be diagnosed as celiac, diabetic, or alcoholic. The villi of my intestine are fine, my blood sugar is normal, and I meet none of the criteria for active addiction. I wouldn't say I was 'recovered' because action on my part is required if I'm going to stay fine and avoid those diagnoses in the future.

I feel like I have 3 manageable conditions and I'm managing them. I'm so grateful that my triggers are known and by making straightforward lifestyle choices, I am disease/condition/symptom-free. My days no longer revolve around avoiding gluten, too much sugar/carbs, or alcohol - that's just my normal life. In fact, I like it because I feel much better without those things in my body and wouldn't go back to consuming them even if I no longer had the consequences of intestinal distress, high blood sugar, or active addiction. There are too many other benefits that have come from removing these things from my life. But given that they are constantly around us and promoted/pushed, I stay actively involved in learning all I can about these conditions and trying to help others who experience them, also. That keeps my mind in the right place to make the choices I need to make.

I guess recovered and recovery have negative connotations to me even though they are seemingly positive words. I feel like we aren't recovering from a disease as much as we're making the necessary lifestyle choices given our individual biochemistry, physiology, and psychology.

For me, the words used matter because of all the unspoken meaning associated with them.

Thanks for this tread where we can think out loud about the issues we all face. NS

[All done drinking]

Thanks for your reply NS. Always thought provoking to hear other opinions and I can't say that I disagree with what you are saying either. I know a lot of folks struggle with using the term "alcoholic" and many don't choose the choice of AA assistance because one is expected to introduce themselves and say "I'm Addy and I an alcoholic." Even thought the big "HI Addy!" feels warm and fuzzy, I personally don't like that aspect of labeling my disease so I totally get what you are saying and appreciate your thoughts.

Addy