One Step at a Time - August 2015

[paulywogg]

Fen,glad you guys made up,also VERY glad that poster wasn't you,sorry about your divorce I hope you're getting through ok,allergies are bananas I feel so out of it sometimes, its wonderful to see you

[fennel]

I know folks have dissed AA in the past but there are different methods of recovery for everyone. I approach AA with taking what I need from it and leaving the rest behind. So for example, I am not doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but am trying to make one meeting a week and that works for me. When one is absolutely adamant about quitting and not be "wish" /washy about it, one needs to be diligent in quitting. Byrdie shared a statement over at NN yesterday that when she grew a backbone instead of a "wish"bone her life got better. I personally got so tired of "wishing" I could control my drinking when it became apparent that I could not. Where I got so confused and held on for long long was that sometimes I could control it but at least 1x a month I couldn't, and it was that one time where I really could have ruined my life.

As a professional, a DUI would have been deadly for me to have gotten. Our laws where I live are brutal. You can get arrested for one drink if the officer stopping you chose to do that as you are under the influence. Studies show even one drink can impair people (especially women). It was very rare I could stop at one when I went out. So, a girl party ALWAYS meant two. And there were embarrassing times of being a bad example to my teens where I got too drunk in front of them and was a horrible role model at that point in time. I am finding life is so much better now that I am totally present for both of them. Even a slight hangover would make me on edge the next day.

On vacay so no AA meetings so will be checking in there every day to stay strong. Have a good day friends.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes~)

Addy, the laws here in my state (WI) are so stupid. A person can acquire up to four DUIs and it's not considered a crime...only on the fifth DUI does the offender become a criminal. That's not to say there aren't massive fines and court ordered outpatient treatments, but it's way too common to see offenders on their eighth and ninth DUIs here.

I hear you about the meetings. I don't go every single day. I hit about five a week and found a meeting that really resonates with me, so that's a good thing. There's some really great sobriety in my meeting...today, I got invited to a guy's thirtieth anniversary party which is coming up soon. My sponsor has thirty years, too.

I hope you are having a great vacation!

[fennel]

Fen,glad you guys made up,also VERY glad that poster wasn't you,sorry about your divorce I hope you're getting through ok,allergies are bananas I feel so out of it sometimes, its wonderful to see you

I'm on flonase, claritin and sinus rinses these days...it's miserable!

Thanks...the divorce is sad, but I will get through it. I always land on my feet. :happy2:

[NoraC]

Oh Fen - I am thinking of you. :hug:

I don't know why but I am exhausted tonight. I can hardly keep my eyes open. I think I'm going to take a little snooze.

Hope everyone had a great day. I'll be back after my nap.

[Lizann]

Aww fen, sorry about the divorce and that you had a rough two months. Glad you popped back in though. I am also attending a group weekly. It's a 12 step but not AA. I have found the support helpful. I hope you will be sticking around.
I'm exhausted tonight too, Nora. After work we took 2 of our cars for oil changes. So much driving back and forth! Between dinner and walking the dog.
Off to bed for me, have a good one.

[Dottie Belle]

Evening all,
I broke up with Dave tonight. We are just not on the same page and I think Paul an I are better suited and I just cant keep this serial dating up. Too exhausting....
Dave agreed that we were not looking for the same thing. He is too newly divorced and playing the field. And that is OK but NO checkers so that is that.
Seeing Paul Friday and Saturday so I will get to see if this is good or not. If not I have plenty more waiting .....LOL
Yes Pauly fen and I are fine and it was all a misunderstanding. Hope your allergies clear up soon.

[fennel]

I'm pretty new back to this thread, but good for you for eliminating Dave if he's not looking for the same thing you are, Dots. I hope things work out between you and Paul. <3

I had a really long conversation with my sponsor tonight. We are going to start on the twelve and twelve next Wednesday...right here at my sister wive's house! As a joke, my ex (best friend) and her wife and I refer to ourselves as "sister wives". Things are getting real, here. I am doing my best to work things through and be the best person I can be.

[Dottie Belle]

fen call me if you need to talk....I so get it and I can catch u up on the "dating" stuff...been a bumpy road.

[Lizann]

Good morning! Home today Yay!
Fen, just wondering what the twelve mad twelve actually is? I know about the steps, is that what you are referring too?
Dottie, did you beak it off, or did he? Are you upset about it?
Rusty, I think you asked about Mark? My favorite subject. He is doing very well. He was asked to give a presentation on a new project the company is putting into to place. His boss was impressed with his presentation! He said work is actually fun. He has met some really nice people at his house. He is seeing the sites, swimming in the Rhine and just loving life in general. Two and a half more weeks and although I miss him terribly I am sad that this will be over. He is still going to try and get back over to Paris before he comes home.
Have a good one, I'll check back later!

[Rusty]

Fen, you are back!!! Yayyyyy!! I have missed you so much!! So sorry about the divorce!! Geez, you weren't married very long, and I feel so badly for you. You know, it's kind of funny NOW that the misunderstanding between Dottie and you is the reason you are back here with us....kind of the silver lining in a problematic situation, right? I applaud you for finding a sponsor and for taking your recovery so seriously. I did not know that you lived in Wisconsin. Did you move when you got married? I feel like we have so much to catch up on and of course I am going to bombard you with all my questions right off the bat. Hahah. I promise I won't. I just missed you, that's all. Hey, did you know that the bar in Antioch, "Check Into Rehab" is closed now? YES, the drunk driving laws in WI MUST be stricter. RIDICULOUS that people with 4 and 5 DUIs are STILL driving!!! UGGGGGHHHHHH.


Sunni-GREAT TO SEE YOU HERE!! I owe you a PM.

Liz-I am SO happy for Mark. Sounds like he's living his dream right now. So happy for you! :-)

Pauly-hope you're feeling better today.

Nora-did I tell you that one of my auditing clients has asked that I be replaced? Don't worry, I'm not crying in my coffee over it. I gave this client 2 majors and they wanted another auditor....MALE, of course. Good riddance. This client was a PIA.

Hellos to everyone else. I gotta get to the gym. See you later.

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all,
Liz I broke it off. We were not on the same page. For me if there is checkers there needs to be a relationship and not just a booty call. He is nice but newly divorces and that didnt help either. A learning experience for us both. I am not upset.
Beautiful day. Sun is out and cool temps. Going to get hot this weekend so I might try and get to the park for a walk later.
Paul is still in the game and he is taking it slow. Which I think is better. Seeing him Friday and Saturday.
Rusty yes a silver lining about Fen for sure. Glad she is back.
Just glad you ALL are here!!

[NoraC]

I'm glad that we found a silver lining too!!! :hug:

I have missed Fen and Sunni so much.

Rusty - can't believe that they asked for you to be replaced. Yep, the old 'male' mentality. Yuck!

Fen - fantastic that you are going to work on the 12 steps. I'm so happy for you that you found a group where you are comfortable.

Liz - it is great that Mark had this opportunity! What are you doing to do today?

Dotts - I am glad that you are doing what you want to do. You are getting out and enjoying yourself. That is so important.

Pauly - are you working today? I am getting my hair done tomorrow. The white roots are about an inch & a half long now. I think it's time. LOL

Addy - you are sounding so strong. I love reading your posts.

Blue - I guess you are still away from internet. Hope you are doing well.

We are supposed to be in the midst of another heat wave. Getting tired of this. The fires aren't around my area. But, they keep cropping up all over. It is so dry here because of the drought that one spark can set everything off.

I just saw that Jeff Daniels will be here in concert in November. I'm going to get tickets. I don't know if you have ever heard any of his music but he is great. The Live at the Purple Rose CD is fantastic. Comedy songs along with some really good songs.

Well - guess I better get to work. I had a few minutes alone here before anyone else came in and I was enjoying it.

Have a great day everyone!!!

[fennel]

Wow, thanks for all the welcomes!

Yah, I have lived in WI my whole life Rusty (except for a brief segue in Lisle, IL). I'm not familiar with the bar in Antioch, although I am familiar with Antioch. My best friend and I used to do a lot of white water canoeing in the area. Our state is so bassackwards where alcohol is concerned!

And yeah...the marriage lasted two days shy of a year, hence my extreme embarrassment. I feel like a failure. Trying not to feel like I just wasted the last sixteen years of my life. : (

Dottie, in my experience it's easy to be physically compatible with someone- it's finding someone who is both physically AND emotionally compatible that's so onerous. You were right to not drag the situation with Dave out. <3

I am so not looking forward to getting back out into the dating scene!

[fennel]

Oops, forgot to mention...the twelve and twelve is a book. The twelve steps and twelve traditions.

[fennel]

Geez, Nora...sorry about the heat wave. :eek-new: I hope you can stay cool! I hope the fires stay away, too. That's a yearly CA thing, isn't it? Plus, the drought has really exacerbated things.

Where is Ms. Wogg?