the toughest battles ~ the anxiety thread

[Spiritfree]

Hi Bri -what a great thread!!!

Let us cut through the chase....

Anxiety is the biggest reason that most of us drink/did drink. Most all of us have/had a form of anxiety before we started drinking -and drinking seemed to be the answer -at the time. If I am to be completely honest with myself, drinking alcohol early on probably saved my life -but then the alcohol turned on me. Alcohol began creating more anxiety than I ever could have imagined.

Relentless, unforgiving anxiety is what kill people- not the medications they choose to relieve themselves of anxiety.

--sf--

[briseus]

You're right SF. I have noticed that A LOT of people on here drank over their anxiety/mental health issues...it's surprising how so many of us are scared of our own selves and how we FEEL.
To be honest with you as well, when I first began drinking over my anxiety...it helped me deal with a lot of shit too...although it only made it worse int he long run...like you said, the alcohol turns on you...spins everything out of control.
I definitely drank a lot...so that I wouldn't have to feel.
Now I have to...and it's so strange to me! But it must be done.

[hazeleyes]

Drinking over anxiety always made me drink more and faster, so much more that I would always wake up feeling guilty about how much I drank, as well as whatever made me worry in the first place. Just like drugs, AL is a trap, a cunning evil trap, and nothing good will come of it. As hard as it may be, it's best not to drink away your sorrows. Focus on positive thoughts, shake your head to lossen that voice inside that keeps repeating lies to you.

Literally shake yourself free.

[abcowboy]

Hey Bri, day 12 today, CONGRATS on making it into the double digits!

[All done drinking]

As hard as it may be, it's best not to drink away your sorrows.

I loved the saying a man said at my AA meeting three weeks ago. "There is no problem so bad that alcohol can't make it worse". Very true! I always found that I had anxiety with a hangover. I am feeling SO good without drinking. No anxiety whatsoever.

Addy :love:

[paulywogg]

Eek! Anxiety today, its gotta be the allegra I took this morning, its the 12 hour one so hopefully it clears soon,I haven't felt like this in awhile, defo won't drink,but when you haven't had anxiety in a bit its hard to calm down, Bri,how are your supps working?

[briseus]

Hey Pauly! Breeeeathe! So happy that you came on here! Does Allegra give you anxiety in general??
I would feel like the effects would be slowly beginning to wear off?
I do that with ANYTHING I take...the other week I took my Melatonin that was a combo with L-Theanine and 5-HTP...then I read on some random Reddit forum from ONE person to "NEVER MIX 5-HTP AND MELATONIN!!". Well, would you know I began to panic...until I calmed myself down and said to myself, then why would the grocery store sell the stuff!!?!

Pauly - I JUST got my supps yesterday. I haven't tried any yet...because of my anxiety, I am a little skeptical too...or rather, afraid more then anything...but I know that if I am having a particularly tough time I will take it...
I am not sure if I should start with the Kava or the Ashwagandha...

Maybe you should take a nice bubble bath...light some candles...
I do that lately..I will put on calming music and literally stare at the flames. Almost like a form of meditation...

The anxiety is still there for me...but not as LOUD...I'm weary...but will persevere...and you will too!!

Let me know how you're doing! I'm here for you Pauly!!

[briseus]

Oh and yes, I hear ya...it definitely is hard to deal with the anxiety when you haven't in such a long time...that's what led to my last few slips. But you and I will both get through this. I KNOW how hard it is...
Do you have any sleepy-time tea? or calming tea to drink?

[paulywogg]

My "tension tamer" tea is at workallegra usually gives me anxiety but I can't breathe through my nose,that gives me headaches, dizziness, grrr,I haven't been anxious lately so I figured I would be ok,how I forget things! BTW, I take 5 htp with melatonin when I take it,I just keep the doses low

[briseus]

Well, hopefully you are getting ready for bed now...and are able to get a good night's sleep....night-time anxiety can be pretty brutal...but just try and think of how comfy and wonderful your bed is, cuddle up with anything near you, listen to some calming music...
I also find Magnesium helps me too.
Are you just overthinking things? Or does the Allegra just trigger it and it's pretty much anything and everything?

[Spiritfree]

Hi Bri -Anxiety is the prominent reason for the relapse for most addicts/alcoholics.

Exactly what is anxiety:

Merriam-Webster:
"An abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it."

Anxiety is always the result of fear of something. Fear of not getting something we want or the fear of losing something that we have. An example of a fear of not wanting to lose something that we have is our life. As most of know, some anxiety is very healthy for us, but too much causes havoc in our brains.

It is my opinion that none of us choose to have an over abundance of anxiety. A few of the causes of general or major anxiety are as follows:

• Genetics
• Mind altering chemicals (alcohol, other drugs)
• Environmental factors (the environment we grew up in and our current environment)
• Survival skills (part of genetics): Some of our brains were created without losing a level of anxiety that our great ancestors had to have just to survive on a daily basis.

Above all else, it all boils down to FEAR.
Someone once tried to explain to me that the word fear really meant (most of the time):

(F) false (E) evidence (A) appearing as (R) real: meaning that most of what we fear or worry about never even happens.

Anxiety is a very complicated disorder of the brain. One real fact exists regarding anxiety -continued use of alcohol ALWAYS makes it worse.

Edit: Side note -as in the MW definition, many of us are afraid that we will not be able to handle a fearful situation if it does come to us. If we are addicted at the time that this fear situation arises, it certainly makes it seems worse, but at least if our brains are addicted, they do not have to deal with the reality -which is a really horrible tragedy in and of it self.

--sf---

[paulywogg]

Defo had to be the allegra, I feel totally calm today,my body is VERY sensitive to things,for instance I can take regular Advil no probs,but the liquid gels make me anxious, benadryl makes my heart race,while it calms others down,think I'm just backwards haha

[briseus]

Thanks for sharing SF!
Alcohol use definitely does make the anxiety a lot worse...it's a vicious cycle to say the last.
I think for many of us...we welcome the relief that alcohol does bring us, albeit incredibly short-lived...sometimes I feel like I can't deal with all these emotions and my first instinct is to self-medicate because it is true...sometimes I don't want to face the reality of the situation(s).
As sad as it is...
I've drank heavily since the age of 24/25...and for five years, anything and everything that came up...I drank over it...and although it "helped" then and there...it never did in the long run...and now being sober, it has caught up with me. I feel like I stunted myself emotionally and perhaps psychologically. I oftentimes am overwhelmed and don't know how to deal with certain things, because all those things that I should have learned in my early 20s, I was drunk over...now I have to learn from scratch.

Pauly - I am glad that you are feeling better today. This is good news.
I am not a big pill taker...pretty much any pills I take have an anxiety-inducing effect on me.
I am still wary of trying supplements because I don't want a negative reaction - or even a reaction that I am able to muster up in my own brain...

It's 10:30 here...everyone is sleeping...but I am still up - on the verge of tears..
I would just like to point out how much I hate the internet sometimes...and FB...I have mentioned in the past that I am a BIG animal rights advocate...and I try and share/educate people on the going's on in the world as often as possible. I have friends that share petitions...and sometimes when I click on these things to sign there are videos or images that pop up that I emotionally and psychologically cannot take...but I feel like if I don't sign or share or educate myself on these then I am indifferent and just as bad because I am not doing anything about it.
I really dislike what we humans do to poor, defenceless animals.

Sometimes I just want to pack up, chuck the laptop and phone, move to a house in the country somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Europe and just live out the rest of my days with animals (and my partner of course, lol).
I might need a break from FB and I did take one before...but I just opened these floodgates...and now my night is ruined...as I sit here and just cry over the sad, helpless, abused, neglected and tortured animals of our world.

Ugh.
I'm a mess tonight. :'(
The anxiety is here to stay for a bit I guess.

[briseus]

Dealing with a lot of anger today. Anger is always my downfall.
I don't know how I'll get through this when I feel so alone.

Meaning fight with the SO...and he just doesn't get it.

[JackieM]

Bri-

Sorry you are having a rough go of it. I am a mess also right now. My husband's untreated ADD is really taking a toll on me.

I took a quiz the other day to determine whether or not I am a highly sensitive person. I am. I would not be surprised if that is the case with you as well.

What you are feeling regarding the animals-I totally get it. It is gut wrenching and impossible to understand how people can do the things they do. If I see an ASPCA ad I will obsess about it for days.

I cannot watch shows or movies with a lot of violence anymore. Even fictional tales end up making me feel sick. I can't stomach shows where I feel forced to like despicable characters either. I tried watching Boardwalk Empire and could only take a couple of episodes. My husband was laughing at some things that were said on the show and I was thinking "This should not be funny. These people are terrible".

It is hard to be hyper sensitive to suffering and realize that others aren't. I know my anxiety is partly due to wanting to change things I cannot control. I wish I had a solution or some advice for you but I don't. Sometimes it helps just to get things out on here. I am always here to listen&try to understand even if I cannot think of a way to help.

I hope you feel better.

JackieM