One Step at a Time - September 2015

[NoraC]

Talked to my brother today. I am going to try to get my Mom to come home with me in November. My brother needs a break - I have to work. She can live here and if she would ever have to go to a facility, there are better places here than where she lives. She does not want to leave her home. We are torn not knowing what to do. She doesn't understand why she can't stay alone and she is happy & comfortable. But, if she comes here, there is more support. Up there, it is just my brother. Down here, it is me, hubby, son, son's girlfriend, my niece.
Well - I am trying very hard not to worry about it. It is what it is and what will be will be. But, this really needs to happen and I guess I just dread upsetting her. She is not going to want to come. She'll probably be fine once she gets here (I hope).

[Lizann]

Aww fen, I hope it doesn't get that complicated for you. Why would this be uncharted territory. It's a marriage.
Busy good day. Lucy scratched her eye on a trap that had a chipmunk in it. Hubby likes to keep other animals out of our yard. That's twice now that she's been injured in the span of a few days. My ferocious little fur ball :love: well off to chill a bit before bed, work tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

[Lizann]

Cross post Nora. Sorry about your mom. It is hard to figure out what to do. We had a similar situation with FIL. Have you asked your moms doctors what they think? Is it possible to have someone come into her home. Just some things to think about.

[NoraC]

Thanks Liz - my brother talked to the doctor today. The Dr said that she would more than likely have some 'regression' or 'confusion' because of moving her. He said that it's ok healthwise and that it is up to us.
We have talked about having someone come in. But, Mom is still aware enough that she threw a fit when we were going to have a housekeeper come in a couple times a month. So, I don't know how that would go having someone come in to stay with her. I honestly don't think it would work.
Hubby told me to just think positive and know that it is going to be ok. There is no sense in worrying about it. It is just something that I'm going to have to deal with. But, I love her so very much. I just want her to be happy. I think she will be happy here but it's just getting her here.

Have a great evening Liz and get some rest. :hug:

[SKendall]

Nora, I am so sorry. Our parents failing is just so difficult to witness. It looks as if the facility near you maybe the best answer.

My dad was in a very, very good care home, but wearing diapers was mandatory and he was such a proud and dignified man. Personally, I wouldn't want to go and hope I have enough wits and $$ to ensure a dignified exit.

Hugs to you.

Fen, the divorce thing is all so awful. I'm writing off 30+ years.

Feedback on the house showing is that the husband of one couple just loved it, but the wife felt is was just too isolated and IMO it's the women who have the final decision.

Other couple are just shopping awaiting a new job confirmation and want more river frontage. Don't think they've seen too many properties b/c we have a huge frontage that is not in the flood zone. Other broker should have explained that, but he's an ex-plumber who decided to go into real estate and has only sold a double-wide at this point.

I'm reminiscent of a memory involving this agent (not ours) his wife owns a business in town and we were friendly. I invited them to dinner and he couldn't converse further than how to skin a small animal. Hilarious in retrospect and you never know when you're going to re-meet acquaintances.

[NoraC]

SK - thank you. It is hard - but, I have been truly blessed.

I'm so sorry for everything you are going thru now. Good luck on the house.

[Rusty]

Good Morning from Pittsburgh, Friends!

Nora, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom!:hug: I think having her near you will provide a great sense of relief. This must be so hard on you....GREAT JOB ON STAYING SOBER! WOW! My mom may have to go into assisted living sooner than we thought. Thinking of you today, as I am taking you on my shoulder to work. My hotel is on the waterfront of the Monongahela River....it's beautiful here.

Skendall..what a bummer about the house.:hug: You are right...the wife makes the final decision. I about died laughing when you said the realtor was an ex-plumber who had only sold a double wide!!! Hahahahahahah. HILARIOUS!

Fenny-I hope this lawyer is a pit bull. I think you might need that...but then again, lacking in personality is no fun.

Liz-Poor Lucy!!!! Bad chipmunk! I hope Lucy recovers quickly and the chipmunk is in someone else's yard.

Mama-you are lucky to have a hubs who cooks for you. Glad you relaxed this weekend.

Hi FT-ok, so is sober checkers better than drunken checkers?

ABC-Hahah...I liked your answer to that.

Pauly-how are you today?

Ok, gotta get some work done before I get my day started.


Big hellos to everyone I missed, Happy AF Tuesday!!

[NoraC]

Morning!

Rusty - you are obviously a morning person. Bleh...... :rotlf:

Have a great day everyone.

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all,
Rough night. I had the irregular heat episode that started at midnight and didn't end until 6am. Tried to sleep but didn't get much. I wish the docs could tell me what causes this. I think it is stress. Letting the men in my life stress me out. Need to tell them to back off. So anyway supposed to get my hair done later then dance lesson. Hope I can sleep tonight.

[Lizann]

Feel better Dottie!

[Frequent Traveler]

Happy Tuesday if there is such a thing,
Sorry to hear about the parents issues, both my parents have passed but we did have similar issues but as us kids get along we all did what we had to.
Fen sorry to hear, I was divorced 12 years ago and it is never good but I did get a great lawyer here in Orlando that did make it bearable.
Dottie take care of yourself and hope you feel better.
Rusty solo checkers is not as much fun as with someone, I always win when playing solo. :-)
Hope everyone has a great day, I'm off to the gym for some treadmill time and swimming today.
Hi to everyone else...
FT

[fennel]

Nora, is there any way that you could work at your job remotely? I'm so worried what will happen when your mom is out of her familiar surroundings. How many years has she been in her home? I hope that since she still knows you, she will be okay in your home.

Does Son and his gf live with you and hubs?

Anyway, I truly hope that it works out okay. Your brother gets mad props for being there the way he has, but I get it...it's a lot of stress.

[fennel]

Dottie, when I get that, it's always due to stress and caffeine. Lots of stress. Mine are PVCs, or "premature ventricular contractions". They're harmless, but so distressing to have. They can last for quite a few hours, unfortunately. I hope that you've shown Jerry the door- I think that he's part of the problem. :egad:

SKendall, good luck with the house. I know how you feel. <3

Liz, is hubs live trapping those varmints? There's no way he's going to keep those chippies out of your yard! I hope Lucy feels better soon. : )

Rusty and Liz, we are trying to do this divorce collaboratively. I would rather come to a peaceful agreement than create hard feelings for life. The reason this is uncharted waters is that we have only been married for one year, but together for 16. Straight people married for one year generally do not get "half" of everything, because of the brevity of the relationship. We were in a domestic union previous to the marriage, but that's not an official marriage. My best bet is to have my attorney convince J and her attorney of a decent settlement. J does want to remain friends, so I hope she will listen to reason.

[mama bear]

I am just in and going to bed....but I am here!

[NoraC]

Hi Mama - rest, rest, rest. :hug:

Fen - I totally understand with the divorce wanting to do it collaboratively. I just want to be sure that you are taken care of friend......

Yes - I'm really worried about Mom too. We just don't know what to do. I am buying a one way ticket for her to come home with me in November. If it's absolutely awful, then we will fly her back home and hubby can probably stay with her while my brother is traveling. We were hoping to get her down here because if she does ever have to go into a facility, they are better in my area. Plus the fact that here she will have someone with her 24/7. It is almost to that point now. My brother's back was out and he was laying on the couch. Mom got up and went into the kitchen and didn't come back in to the living room. He went into the kitchen to check on her and she was sitting on her seat on her walker. He asked her if she was ok and she said she was just resting. She just gets so tired moving around and she is sleeping most of the day now.
It is going to be a huge transition and it might not work. But, I feel like I have to try. Sigh..........it's hard when you reach this age and start dealing with your elderly parents. Many of you know that because you are dealing with it too.

Thanks for listening.