One Step at a Time - October 2015

[paulywogg]

Hubs isn't a crazy drinker Fen,he's a normie that just doesn't understand why someone can't have" a few" this is really hard its hard to drink anymore and its hard not to,bleh,I pulled a Nora on the way home,a really nice maroon recliner was on the side of the street, I've been eyeballing it for a couple of days so today I decided to stop,it was clean,no holes,smelled good but I could not lift the SOB!! I did have it partly in my SUV but the back part pinched my fingers, ouch,so now I'm bruised on the knees and wrists, no recliner I said F-it and left

[fennel]

Hubs isn't a crazy drinker Fen,he's a normie that just doesn't understand why someone can't have" a few" this is really hard its hard to drink anymore and its hard not to,bleh,I pulled a Nora on the way home,a really nice maroon recliner was on the side of the street, I've been eyeballing it for a couple of days so today I decided to stop,it was clean,no holes,smelled good but I could not lift the SOB!! I did have it partly in my SUV but the back part pinched my fingers, ouch,so now I'm bruised on the knees and wrists, no recliner I said F-it and left

I wish I'd been there...I'd have gotten that sucker up into your S.U.V.!

Mrs. Fen said she was a normie, but she's blown through a case of beer and a case of wine in the last two weeks, so I have my doubts. At any rate, it seems we were ready to be done. As for hubs, I hope he can abstain for a bit out of respect for you.

[Lizann]

Hugs Pauly! Lots of good advice here for you. You are loved! It is a vicious cycle and hard to figure out. My son makes it seem so simple. "just don't drink"! I'm sure it's not helpful that your hubby doesn't see you as having a problem. From where I sit, if you think you have a problem, you probably do.
Fen and Skendall, sorry about all the trouble with the divorces. Most definitely not for the faint hearted. Skendall. The lawyer sounds a little laid back with those dogs? My Lucy greets all of Norbert's patients too. They seem to like it. She's kind of a therapy dog! I think fen, you would like it better if it were a cat?
Mama, as much as those hotel rooms get lonely, I'm sure it makes you appreciate home and family so much more. Don't think I would do well alone.
Rusty, glad your getting ahead of schedule with that paper work. I don't know how you manage working out in the evening before you eat. I am absolutely ravenous when I get home from work! I'm glad it works for you.
Nora, how are you doing? Your mood any better? I'm good today, who knows what tomorrow will be like?
Dottie, yes you haven't been around a lot here. Good in way because you have Jon, but I for one miss your posts. What do you and Jon do when you go out? Do the doggies like him.
Well, seems I caught marks cold and my throat is sore. Gonna call it an early night.
Love you guys:heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

Yes,I know I have an addiction to alcohol, I'mnot sugar ccoating it in any event,someone posted in the nest that this is not a choice and I agree to some extent,I don't really choose to f my life up,I am happy sober,I'm happy doing what I need to do,but drinking only makes me fat,sad,broke,we all know this stuff, I'm irritated by posts by people who have been sober for awhile that act like the rest of us"don't get it" hell I get it!! It sucks! I've taken al off the table,I've exercised like a mofo,I've vitamined myself out,mag,b's,c's D's etc,I guess I'm just finding it a bit harder than some do,I dunno,probably taking a break from here for a bit,I refuse to bring anybody down with this b.s.I love you all to pieces, you're literally my best friends (besides kids and Lou) hugs to all

[SKendall]

Lizz, when your son says "just don't drink" and that is a classic normie response because unlike us they identify with the consequences and not the why. The why to normal drinkers doesn't really exist if it ends up catastrophic.

Pauly, I don't think any of us here will ever forget where we have been.

[paulywogg]

Not you guys Skendall,just around the boards.

[NoraC]

Pauly - thank goodness to see you posting! I've been checking for you. :hug:
Ok - bottom line here.....from me to you.....
You are not bringing anyone down here. That is why we are all here and that is why we met in the first place. That is why we care about each other and want to be there for each other.
I have been very impressed by you. I still am. You are working hard to get this out of your life. You are going to do this. You have helped me so many times. Watching you work on this has helped me so much.
I have been here for so many years. I finally, finally feel hopeful. Don't give up. It will come. Oh - and the worse thing I did was pull away from here. It made everything so much worse.

Pauly - take a deep breath and get right back to it. :hug:

[fennel]

Lizz, when your son says "just don't drink" and that is a classic normie response because unlike us they identify with the consequences and not the why. The why to normal drinkers doesn't really exist if it ends up catastrophic.

Pauly, I don't think any of us here will ever forget where we have been.

God, that's like the classic reply, isn't it?

Pauly, we all "get it" here. Please get your buns back in here with the rest of us (insert word of choice here) and head into another peaceful segment of sobriety.

[red67]

Pauly, everyone's road is different. I admire you for your honesty and determination. You never give up and you never sugar coat or deny where you are in this journey. It was a little easier for me to quit for good because my close family doesn't really drink and neither does my roommate. I believe it would have been much harder if I was surrounded by alcohol everyday.

I am afraid if you take a break from here you will slip more often. I only say this because I really believe working at it everyday (even after years of sobriety) is the only way to keep the determination strong to keep fighting. Unfortunately this monster will always be there for us addicts. I hate that part but its true. But that said, it can be silenced or as I like to think about it, put in remission. I come here everyday as continuing therapy.

You are a strong woman and you know that. Please take a look at Smart Recovery. I really think it will help.

[abcowboy]

Paulette, leaving here for a while is nonsense and you know it! We all agree that this is without a doubt one of the hardest things to do, except maybe for quitting smoking, I'll let you know about that after harvest. But you are doing exactly what my MD told me I shouldn't do, quit both at the same time unless you're doing it at a rehab clinic. So don't worry about the cigs for now, that may be causing some of your anxiety. And I think you are a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother, homemaker, and employee because you are doing your best and that's all anyone can ask of you!

And I'm guilty, I used to have that "why can't they get it" attitude until one day I was talking to Bubba about it and she said "Hold it Mister, just what pot is calling the kettle black! It took you almost dying before you got it!" Know what, she was right! I don't think that way anymore, I think if they just keep at it, they'll get it right one day.

I can't speak to the being a woman part of it, but I imagine it's not helping either. So it's one more thing we must overcome or at least deal with.

And you've told us everything you've tried and it still doesn't seem to be enough, so let's go at this from another angle, tell us what you haven't tried, AA, Smart, rehab, etc. Maybe we can all put our heads together and help you come up with a plan. I'm willing to put in the extra time because I know you're worth it!

[mama bear]

Wow Pauly - you are so loved !! We all get it.....trust me
I ate a burger and fries and watched Netflix and crashed, but the planes flying overhead all night kept waking me up.
Out the door...fun, fun

[Rusty]

Good Morning,

Some thoughts that I have held for years: I have always HATED the words, "drunks" and "alkies." I know it is AA language and I despise it! It's a HUGE reason why people like myself never sought out AA or other organizations who use those terms. They are derogatory and slanderous, and in my opinion, they fuel the stigma of alcoholism and a reason why no one (including myself) wants to be involved in a 12-step program. They feel labeled for life. I see this language used across the boards here at MWO. I don't like being called a drunk and if you're going to call me that, you will find that as a sober person, I am much meaner and nastier than when I was when I was drinking. Just sayin.

[NoraC]

Morning all - very quick check in. nthego:Hope that everyone is doing well. Pauly - check in please.

Where's FT?

[red67]

Rusty, I agree with that. I was called a drunk too many times in my life and it was always used a a derogatory word in those moments. I consider myself someone who had a problem with alcohol. When I was in counseling and Smart Recovery, those terms were not used. I was treated as a human being with a problem that we needed to find a solution for. If we label ourselves I believe it puts a barrier up to finding the solution or path to recovery.

[paulywogg]

Jeez,I think Fen only said that to make me feel better I certainly don't want anybody to feel put down,she was trying to be funny and snap me out of my funk,please don't take offense, we won't use those terms anymore here, that's one of the problems with being in online recovery, things said in jest get taken the wrong way sometimes