I kind of can't believe I'm alive.

[Choices]

Thank you treetop,
I'm in New Zealand. We are coming into spring. Everything you wrote resonates all to well with me about the pick up, the store and manic cooking. Same with the cleaning. I'll take your advice and star thinking now. The tough part will be if my daughter is cranky or misbehaving on the way home. For all normal reasons of course... Just tired, hungry etc. I used that a lot of times as an excuse to stop off at the store to pick up an onion etc... My gym offers late night virtual classes that are pretty cool. I love exercise. I have really hated working out hungover. It just feels like I hate myself when I do that. Well, I took my bath, put on some perfume, now going to straighten my hair. At least I'll look better and smell better in bed.

[NoraC]

Choice - glad that you got up and were able to take a bath. Hopefully, you'll start feeling well enough to start exercising soon. How great that you love exercise. I wish I did. LOL But, I do feel better when I force myself to do something.
Tree has lots of great ideas. She is so right about the pull of the store. I made up more excuses than I can count. I avoid that now. Making sure to avoid triggers.

[Choices]

Thanks Nora,

I guess I wasn't even thinking about how different my triggers would be now. Especially drinking alone at home where I am most of the time taking care of everything. No peer pressure this time to deal with. I didn't use to like exercise until I started group classes. The instructors make it fun. And my head feels so much better afterward. Well, husband and daughter are back... I had a sandwich with them, but back in bed. I'm actually still quite sick I think. My plan for the next few hours is to rest again... Then walk to the cafe a few blocks away and get a coffee. Come back, rest. Husband is going to the gym at 4 so I'm on responsible duty with my girl until he gets back. The only other thing I need to do is make her lunch for tomorrow and fill out some paperwork for her school. These aren't huge tasks but they feel huge at the moment. Guilty feelings are coming in because they are home now and I'm upstairs. So I'll turn on a movie and hope I can distract these thoughts.

[treetops]

Choices - I live in NZ too so I am on the same timezone although not awake during the night! Just take it one day at a time and enjoy the lovely weather when its there.

[Choices]

Oh wow, where in NZ? It's cold here today. It's been a long winter. I'm so happy spring is here.

[treetops]

NZ is a very small place so I try to keep an air of mystery about me!

[Choices]

Ok... Going for a small walk turned out to be a really good idea. But it felt surreal. The ground sorta looked like it was moving and kind of wavy but it's probably because I've been in bed so long. It was beautiful outside, the air felt fresh, the tide was out and I saw a few fan tails. I was just going to walk to the cafe but I ended up going to the bird reserve and walked around that with a coffee. In the cafe I felt like a zombie. I've really rocked my confidence. I'm thinking nature will be my friend for the next week and I can do small bush walks around my neighborhood while daughter is at school. I've always wanted to do these anyway. Now I'm back in bed for 45 min until hubby goes to the gym. He will be gone two hours. So I will give daughter a bath and maybe if I feel up to it iron a few things. While cartoons are on. Sounds easy enough.

[Choices]

Oh your right, just did some editing. Anonymity is a good thing!

[Choices]

Alright time to take care of things for a while. I'm kind of nervous. That is so strange. Maybe we should bake something. I am craving chocolate brownies. The easy kind from a box.

[Guitarista]

I try to keep an air of mystery about me!

Lol.

Have a beaut evening Choices.

[Choices]

Thanks you too Guirarista. I'm feeling better and better. Actually went to the supermarket for brownie mix in a box. I felt more normal in public then I did earlier today. I did get some ice cream and canned soup, as treetop made it sound so good. And I got good detox supplies for tomorrow. I think I'll be ready for that, I've indulged in comfort food takeaways all weekend.

[Choices]

Well, the day is almost done and I made it. Managed to make brownies with my girl, and clean up after dinner. No longer needing to be in bed and have moved to the lazy boy in the main room with my family. I'm feeling a lot more positive. It does help to check in here with my play by play. I'm not sure why.

[satz123]

Well, the day is almost done and I made it. Managed to make brownies with my girl, and clean up after dinner. No longer needing to be in bed and have moved to the lazy boy in the main room with my family. I'm feeling a lot more positive. It does help to check in here with my play by play. I'm not sure why.

'Cos we UNDERSTAND Choices. Keep posting.:hug:

[Choices]

Managed to watch part of a movie with DH. But now he has gone to bed. This is when I would finish off my bottle. I don't have one in the house and I really don't feel like drinking at all. The thought still turns my stomach. I think I will take a tynol pm again though.. I just don't want to be struggling to fall asleep... I don't feel like listening to my meditations... I don't feel like reading a book.. All the books I have at the moment are about motherhood. Hmm... I'm not sure. I do have an adult coloring book, I can lay in bed and put a chick flick on and draw until the tynol pm kicks in. There is a kinda plan I guess.

[satz123]

Great plan.
Yes the fear of not sleeping can be a trigger - so take whatever you can to sleep until you are over the worst.
When you know you can go to bed and sleep it's a major win in my experience.
You can look forward to morning and feeling even better.