I kind of can't believe I'm alive.

[treetops]

Hang on in there. Young Kids can be very perceptive but fortunately they can bounce back pretty quickly too. I still however have a lot of guilt with my daughter - not that I was a bad or neglectful Mum - more from the tension (with my partner) that probably was exacerbated from my drinking and the relationship. The relationship issues I had did not go away with me getting sober. Thats because, I think, he has been slow to work on himself. In my case, my partner, took a long time to wake up to the fact that he couldn't easily blame things just on my drinking. If you see what I mean - drinking had become our other partner.
Meanwhile - just get through today and the afternoon. You will get temper tantrums from a child regardless of what we as parents do. Don't blame yourself. You will feel proud of not drinking after a week.
You haven't mentioned other friends. Have you any there who are not big drinkers? What about the gym? Sometimes just talking stuff out with others (like a temper tantrum) can really help.

[treetops]

PS - I post on the Ladies with a Mission thread. Its under the abstinence thread but we are not preachy types. Please do join us - most of us have children (although ours might be older than yours) and we know how darned hard life can be. We are not just ladies - there are a few guys who join in too, like Mr G and Samstone.

[Choices]

Thank you treetop.. I do see what you mean about relationship problems re drinking..I ran into that with my partner as well the first time I quit. It was a lot as you said before less.messy.. Luckily most of my friends don't drink or don't drink a lot as far as I know...and they have no idea how much I was drinking. And a lot of them have children my daughters age. I'm lucky to have a lot of mum support stuff. I go to the gym a lot to 3-4 times a week. Tomorrow will be my first day back... And I'm really looking forward to going because I know I won't be drinking tonight and that's always a ton better. My life is pretty set up for sobriety. Thank heavens! I'll check out the other thread. I may stick here for a while so I don't hijack anything. But I should be over some of this self absorption soon.

[Pavati]

Hi,

You can also join the Newbies Nest - it is a quick moving thread so there is always someone who can respond to you. Or hang here. Whatever you need. I'm sorry you feel like crap, but glad you don't feel like drinking.

Pav

[Choices]

Thanks Pavati,

I'm feeling better, it is strange not to have a glass in my hand at this time of night but I've been drinking coconut water or all natural cranberry juice. The cranberry juice is quite bitter so it feels like a drink. And I figure my kidneys could use it. I saw the women on a mission thread and it looks like a good fit. I think I may remember some of the ladies from before. I do like where my head is at re not drinking anymore. Maybe I'm feeling shy. I'll go check out the nest it usually goes so fast I can't keep up. Lol

[Choices]

Thank you Molly,

I don't know if you remember me from a long time ago. It was in 2010 and we were in Sunbeams sober September challenge? I remember when you switched to the army and how great it has worked for you. My name was choice then.., I forgot my password so had to set up a new profile. I was just getting engaged then. It's great to see you doing so well. I'll get there. A lot of memories of how wonderful this place is are flooding back. Tonight went well. The event is getting further in the rear view mirror. Thank heavens! I just really can't wait to hit my one week AF mark and continue on. Your advice has always been so good. Thank you

[Choices]

Here is to not passing out but actually going to bed with a clear head. 😊

[Guitarista]

You're a gem Molly.

Hope you get some sleep Choices.

[Choices]

I didn't see your post last night Molly.. I actually fell asleep after my last post and slept the whole night through. I finally feel a lot better mentally too. Looking in the mirror after drinking compulsively is eye opening for sure! That was me with the whiskey last week. I thought about rehab this go around. I kinda wish I could but I think I'm actually coming around the bend of the bender so to speak. Your an inspiration for sure. So I'm 6 days AF now. Feeling good about that! And have an exercise class to go to. It's funny I've been on such a journey the past 6 days that it feels like I haven't worked out in ages but it's only been a week. Here is to another AF day everyone. :heartbeat:

[Guitarista]

I thought about rehab this go around. :

Don't rule it out friend. I bailed out after 3 weeks, but I found it a very grounding and educational experience.

Congrat's on 6 days AF. Huge!

[Choices]

I really think it would be like that. Maybe someday, or maybe a retreat soul searching kind of thing. Why did you bail out? Well, I did my normal work out but had to lower my weights. I wasn't feeling exactly strong. But I went through the motions and got a sweat going. I've got my daughter with me today, so the day is feeling pretty normal. I had a major drinking dream last night this time it was beer. My friend and I have planned to get together Friday and have lunch, walk, and get our nails done. I won't be talking about my personal alcoholism problems, but will about life stuff. She's quite real and we laugh a lot. So I'm looking forward to seeing someone I'm close to other then my husband, to hopefully get some confidence back. I find I'm having a hard time looking people in the eye but it also makes since. It's strange to be getting back into my routine with what happened but one foot in front of the other. ODAT

[Choices]

Alright thought it was a good time to post as I am thinking a lot about my old bad habit. This is when I'd start. 5pm. I e noticed tension building up in myself probably mirrored by DD getting tired... But more so. I think this is the behavior addiction side of things I'm guessing. I've poured myself some organic sugar free cranberry juice. It is bitter so it is better sipped.. Which is working for me. I've called husband and asked if we could just have subway for dinner so I don't have to cook toddler under toe with my tension level going up. I just think I would miss the first two glasses cooking in this mood, behavior issue? Not sure what to label it. I am really tired and sore from my work out which feels good but just need to take it slow and not get stressed out over little things. Which might trigger feeling like I want to drink. I don't. I'm feeling too good mentally and physically about my decision and need and want this life change. It's for the best. It can only get better. I'm going to the gym again tomorrow so need to rest up and have a clear head. My muscles and organs deserve to be treated with love and respect. I really can't wait until hubby gets home with subway. Lol... Not easy at the moment but not to hard to handle.

[Choices]

Feeling good. Not annoyed, irritable or anything quite peaceful really. Hubby came home pretty late but it was ok. I've been loving my coloring book. It's cool. DD likes it too. And, now hubby is actually coloring in it. I can see why it's a fad right now. This is the second night that hubs had beer on his breath when he came through the door. I'm really glad he is cool with not bringing beer home.., and I'm really proud of myself for not getting all co-dependent about it. So I'm kinda feeling victories at the moment. The weather is absolutely perfect at the moment. I love spring. Signing off .. At least for now. Here's to a clear head!

[treetops]

Not sure if you are still awake but good on you for riding through the difficult time today. We had takeaways tonight as well - fish and Chips except I don't eat the chips (don't like them!) and I made a salad. Work is pretty demanding this week.
Good plan on you. meeting up with your friend and also getting into the gym.
Exhausted so will say good night.

[shambles70]

Attagirl! Feel those victories! So glad to hear you're feeling better.

Please do swing by the army too if you feel like it. I joined here last November and ended up there because Jackie and Mollyka reached out via pm, then I stalked them and found out where they hung out. Now they've got me in the slammer, it's a bit hard to leave

All best wishes and peace to you, choices x