UP AND AT 'EM ARMY,,,,,19th Oct 2015

[IamMary]

When I got sober this time Joe quit drinking as well so the family dinners with copious wine sort of drifted away -- still found it rather patronising tho when for the first couple of christmas's Adam didn't drink and sort of frowned on the others when they had a couple of scoops --- but looking back --- I don't think he ever really drank at christmas -- so it was just me being sensitive -- now we never buy drink -- not on purpose -- just no one seems to ever want it -- the few bottles of wine at christmas were mostly still hanging around in June

Joe sounds like a Normal drinker Molly. Mr M, maybe not, although hed be happy with a single beer, but then gets stuck into the wine on a Saturday and the planets drift.

[satz123]

personally I don't think Joe was a normal drinker --- equally he (not s'posed to say this -- no I can -- once it's not about meeeee!!!!) was not as bad as me --- but if he was on a day off (and back then he sort of worked week on week off so a lot of days off) he couldn't imagine not drinking -- it was part of his life...big part - and funnily -- we were chatting about something else the other day and it returned to the fact that we aren't blowing money on drink -- and I said something about maybe he would go back at some stage -- and he said not a chance - that he was heading in the wrong direction..... interesting...

They are so fecking vague aren't they.
He won't come out & admit he had a problem

Same here Mr S will mooch around a problem but never say what exactly he's thinking.
Even DD can't get him to open up - maybe only when he has a few pints. We did our 'real' talking when we both were drinking I suppose. FFS!!:egad:
Young Satz having a problem to him is alien and there is a touch of "what would xxxx ( insert friends, brother , sister, lads in Club ) say".
He'll NEVER admit that but I can hear it in how he's dealing with it.

[satz123]

Sorry to hear about Satz Jnr. Not easy, is it..

Yeh Mary been brewing a long time and I felt guilty to confront him with the same things I'd done myself.
I knew every bottle he drank and his hiding places but just gave advice when he came to me. But he was clearly struggling.

It came to head when his friends rang his Dad and said they were worried about him after a wedding that he couldn't do best man speech. Anxiety drove him to drink too much.
We had a family 'intervention' - just ourselves- and brought it all into the open on Friday.
He is sober now & willing to go to an expert in Rutland next week.
He cried with relief and mortification.
He's ready and we're here to help him.

If I'm honest more local help than I had - but then I had the Army which was my saviour - a few mad yokes back then gave me a laugh too - but mainly Jacks & Molls - :heart: to name & shame

[IamMary]

Ah Satz.. :huggers: you have had a rough time of it. The poor thing - Im sure hes frightened but probably so relieved.
In a way catching it at such a young age is great, it could have festered for years as he played the moderating game. Fair play to the parents of his friends, many would have ignored it not wanting to upset or interfere.
Been down this road with my sibling with great results 5 years on.

Me, Im sticking to the Army too - working so far :friendly_wink:

[JackieClaire]

Bless your heart, Satz. I know you'd be in my corner any time.:heartbeat:

Just been having a think about me and Mr JC..........we were the best drinking buddies ever and I'll admit it we've had some laughs..........lotsa laughs...........but the laughing became crying................my drinking became problematic and it worried him sick............he didn't dare mention it in case I blew up. Even a casual remark would have set me of into a self righteous rage about how it was my choice to drink and I'd be buggered if anyone was going to criticize me.......even him.

For some unknown reason he loved me then but he loves me sober more. Took a while to get used to............don't think he drank in the house for a year and certainly didn't go out for a few with the lads for a couple of months. He still very rarely drinks in the house.

[IamMary]

As for the husbands.. haha - they are all carved from the same block of wood.. Seriously, carbon copies head in the sand few whispers of 'feelings' on occasions. Whacha do!

[IamMary]

Sorry JC. cross posts.
I suppose the difference here was that MR M didnt see me as being an issue - I hit a lot and he drinks a fair bit. Less now but still has the few, like last night!!

[NoSugar]

once the hiding starts Mary - imo there's NO going back ---- I think it's the single manifestation that makes me go 'uh huh!!!'

Good point, Molly. Whether you hid bottles in your closet, ottoman, file cabinet or anywhere else should be a question on those Are you an Alcoholic quizzes! There's no way to dodge that one! Another would be: Did you ever dispose of empties in the park recycling bin as you rode your bike to the gym? (Not that I know anyone who ever did that!).

Satz, I'm glad your son's situation is out in the open. It must have been heartbreaking to see the sneaking and hiding and know how miserable he was but not be able to help. Now you can.

[satz123]

Yiz are a great bunch & no mistake :sendflowers:

[satz123]

SHAMPOO !!!
ROXY !!!!
TABBS :shout:

Check in or I'll have to go out for yiz - and it's cold out - and I'm not a proper penguin - I HATE the cold :blue::miserable:

[satz123]

Just been having a think about me and Mr JC..........we were the best drinking buddies ever and I'll admit it we've had some laughs..........lotsa laughs...........but the laughing became crying................my drinking became problematic and it worried him sick............he didn't dare mention it in case I blew up. Even a casual remark would have set me of into a self righteous rage about how it was my choice to drink and I'd be buggered if anyone was going to criticize me.......even him.
.

Same here Jacks. But ......
My sobriety did not affect MR S a jot. Only now he has a driver.
He never drank in the house - that was my PROBLEM.
He continued and still goes to pub and over the past 2 years has even criticized me for not going out more.
Like today he wanted to go to Carlingford.
That means a trip to PJs pub with the lovely fire. But it just reminds me of having warming brandy. :egad:
I said no 'cos I'd invited my mother, who is on her own all week, out here to dinner.
He reacted like a spoiled child ...................

Sometimes I blame myself -'cos I am the strong one - and never asked for his help - 'cos he lives in his happy little bubble.
Always dealt with things myself and getting sober was another hurdle & had to get over.

[satz123]

Yes!

Yes what ?

[techie]

Hello Army friends!

[JackieClaire]

Techie :hug:

Cracking game.

[satz123]

evening