Balmy Army November 1st

[satz123]

I had a horrible dream last night.
Where I REALLY wanted a drink and was fighting against it. :sick:
I have never craved a drink - I can truthfully say that - I have been very lucky.
After my last drink I had got to the stage of HATING alcohol and will never want another one ........
Even if I did I know one drink will not be enough - so feck it I ain't going back to that shitty life.

[JackieClaire]

Doing the in out thing on MWO.
Fireworks again.........lappy keeps freezing and the S&H's girlfriend arriving any minute.

[JackieClaire]

Sorry Molls, didn't see you there .........I need 3 sets of eyes at the mo.

[NoraC]

You know - that was what was so scary - I hadn't been having real cravings. I had some in the past 3 months but not like yesterday. That was almost like throw it all out the window and give me that alcohol and NUMB me.......now. Whew - awful feeling. But, better today.

[GlitzyB]

It was certainly not the taste I got cravings for its the buzz and the warm and fuzzie false sense of relaxation I craved. So not worth it for a few hours and a hangover the next day. and may be a cure next day and other day of chaos. No I cudn't go back to that dark place either. Evening Molly nice to see you here and everyone else. Trying to cut back on the sweet stuff but I just had a 100g bar of Butler's white berry chocolate after dinner and feeling stuffed. Feck it its Saturday night af and it was so yummy. We all need an af sweet treat at times.

[IamMary]

Ah Molly, great to hear your managing ok. It's crap when things are crap.
But the idea that you don't crave a drink now is amazing really. Why is it then that people relapse after long periods of absence?? Suppose it depends on each person.

Satz, did u never have a craving, ever? So once you decided, it didn't matter if the guard was down??
Nora, same as you, flying it mostly now (although I shouldn't be so cocky, I'm not), but ya get the odd wink. Doesn't last too long.

[IamMary]

Yep I get it Molly. It was good getting Starty's take on it and Choices too, in another thread. So easy to slip back.
Good to have you back too :hug:

Another Saturday ticked.

[satz123]

Satz, did u never have a craving, ever? So once you decided, it didn't matter if the guard was down??
Nora, same as you, flying it mostly now (although I shouldn't be so cocky, I'm not), but ya get the odd wink. Doesn't last too long.

See Mary - I had to be different.
I would never say never so I 'started stopping' in July '12 - then had 3 scheduled 'returns' for weddings & holidays.
Molls used to tell me I was lucky to be able to take it & then stop it again.
But I got a taste of AF living and LOVED it then really HATED alcohol the last time I drank in June '13.

I have had difficult times where I was depressed & wanted to feel better- but I never thought a drink would fix it.
I would take medication rather then go back to that life and I also have a constant reminder in young Satz of how difficult it is when still in the clutches of alcohol.

[IamMary]

See Mary - I had to be different.
.

Were you not afraid that you wouldn't come back from one of the scheduled sessions?
I dont ever ever want to go back to where I was or worse, where I was going to and the odd cravings are fine - they are not even cravings as such, like Nora said.
Anyway, if I get through the next few weeks (and the peer pressure of meeting every flipping person Ive ever met for drinks), Ill be home and dry. Well, Im not that sociable! but the social pressure is on, in case we all drop dead after Christmas!

[starty]

Morning lovelies. Molls it is GREAT to see you back and posting.

Glitzy its the warm and fuzzies I miss too. But I don't miss the guilt, the obsession the prison of being dictated what I can and can't do cos I need a drink. Last night I was driving home at around 10pm. That is freedom.

Not looking forward to Christmas

[Guitarista]

Why is it then that people relapse after long periods of absence?? Suppose it depends on each person.

Yo Mary. In my case it was escape. Because I hadn't dealt with what I was running from. i.e. Myself. :happy2:

[starty]

In my case it was losing sight of who I was. Losing touch with sober people. Boredom, stress and not being able to handle it. Trying to conform with people who I had no business trying to conform with. And generally reaching back to an old habit that stopped me thinking. Drink and drugs Actually they don't stop me thinking but they focus my mind TOTALLY on when I can have them how do I get them, how long will they last and chasing that elusive buzz. And then worrying about the effect they have on me and in order to stop doing that I repeat the action on a daily basis.

[satz123]

Were you not afraid that you wouldn't come back from one of the scheduled sessions?
I dont ever ever want to go back to where I was or worse, where I was going to and the odd cravings are fine - they are not even cravings as such, like Nora said.
Anyway, if I get through the next few weeks (and the peer pressure of meeting every flipping person Ive ever met for drinks), Ill be home and dry. Well, Im not that sociable! but the social pressure is on, in case we all drop dead after Christmas!

:haha:
On the having to feckin' meet EVERYONE between now and January 2nd

With regard to the scheduled sessions - I didn't feel strong enough to go to Australia in Dec '12 for 3 weeks and not drink.
The amazing thing NOW I could. It's just takes time & confidence. I had no confidence in myself.
Molly said I was playing a dangerous game. I know I was very lucky - but the last time was the crunch for me - I was not a normal drinker.
July 2012 was the first time I had seriously tried to stop - so they were my relapses as such.

[satz123]

Oh and Morning lovelies :checkin:

[satz123]

What's the craic Molls -feeding the five thousand today ?