Army Boot Camp 23/11/15

[kuya]

H

Nor me JC.

Yes, you would have thought that the memory would stop relapses. Funny how it fades and we begin to tell ourselves it wasn't that bad.

It is fascinating and is simply down to how the brain is geared to work and help us live.

If we were deterred by non-life threatening negative experiences then we would give up on many things necessary for our survival too early. Think about how many falls and knocks a baby has learning to walk. We are wired to persist in response to POSITIVE feedback, not to give up due to negative.

This leads to a number of interesting outcomes and is utilised by big business via advertising.

One of the most shocking is how nasty messages on cigarettes fail to stop us smoking......and the tobacco companies know this (I wouldn't even be surprised if governments collude in it). If those packets said things like

" Nicotine withdrawal is over in a few days"
"Millions have quit...so can you"
"After only a few weeks you will feel like a non smoker"

then people would actually quit in far greater numbers and far easier. Pictures of lung cancer and impotence are selectively filtered out by the brain since they are a negative rather than a positive message.

This is exactly what is happening with your negative memories from WDs....the message from that event is held with less strength than the POSITIVE memories of using. This kinda sums up all addiction.
The only time the brain is wired to remember a negative OVER a positive is when it is recognised as LIFE THREATENING.

Hence why many have to have "rock bottom" moments in order to quit. It's gotta be real bad to override a system designed mainly for positive reinforcement.

Whilst knowing all this doesn't stop the problems you can at least now forgive yourself for being wired perfectly normally.
You don't really have 'an addicts brain' , you simply have a human brain.

Drug taking is a futile attempt to find peace and happiness.....when you realise you already have that within you the need to look for it outside disappears. The lure back to using gets weaker and weaker when feeling content is back in your own hands.

[kuya]

what a truly wonderful post Kuya --- so MANY things in there that I've TRIED to put into words for myself and failed -- and how fecking true the whole lot of it... not much more to expand on that really I s'pose --- one question I would ask you tho -- d'ya think in actual fact it is a huge advantage therefore to HAVE that rock bottom or does that even out for everyone over a period of time -- my rock bottom moment had less to do with alcohol than true distaste for life and being alive -- I was mentally destroyed really --- and I cannot EVER imagine forgetting how that felt... EVER... is that my 'advantage' that I got that bad?

To bear out your point about positive messages as well -- I have quit cigarettes seriously twice in my life -- on the experience of the first quit I KNEW that 3 weeks in I would feel fine - so the second quit was so easy it wasn't funny --- it felt ridiculously easy ... 3 days of a bit of aul hard work -- and off I went -- so me giving myself that positive message... mmmm excellent thoughts

I reckon everyone's rock bottom will vary according to their culture and belief system.
What doesn't vary is WHY people become addicted which is always down to the mistaken belief that feelings can come from the drug.

I bet you were like me, the first time you drank alcohol you were an excite able teenager...it was fun....because EVERYTHING is fun when you are a teenager. We were raised in a culture that SAID drinking was fun, we believed it was fun. But we, like most teenagers, put the feeling of fun down to the alcohol, whereas we would have had just as much fun with a placebo bottle of sugar water.

In contrast.......Another teenager drinks for the first time, hates it, never wants to drink again.

[sunbird2]

Hello all,

My birthday today, so bit of a mad rush....but just so great to be with family and especially my grandchildren...such a treat!
Chat later and tell you about the day.

I am also 5 months sober today, so a bit of a double celebration!:happy2:

[kuya]

Hello all,

My birthday today, so bit of a mad rush....but just so great to be with family and especially my grandchildren...such a treat!
Chat later and tell you about the day.

I am also 5 months sober today, so a bit of a double celebration!:happy2:

Congratulations on five months Sunbird! Brilliant achievement

[satz123]

Brilliant Kuya !

[starty]

H

It is fascinating and is simply down to how the brain is geared to work and help us live.

If we were deterred by non-life threatening negative experiences then we would give up on many things necessary for our survival too early. Think about how many falls and knocks a baby has learning to walk. We are wired to persist in response to POSITIVE feedback, not to give up due to negative.

This leads to a number of interesting outcomes and is utilised by big business via advertising.

One of the most shocking is how nasty messages on cigarettes fail to stop us smoking......and the tobacco companies know this (I wouldn't even be surprised if governments collude in it). If those packets said things like

" Nicotine withdrawal is over in a few days"
"Millions have quit...so can you"
"After only a few weeks you will feel like a non smoker"

then people would actually quit in far greater numbers and far easier. Pictures of lung cancer and impotence are selectively filtered out by the brain since they are a negative rather than a positive message.

This is exactly what is happening with your negative memories from WDs....the message from that event is held with less strength than the POSITIVE memories of using. This kinda sums up all addiction.
The only time the brain is wired to remember a negative OVER a positive is when it is recognised as LIFE THREATENING.

Hence why many have to have "rock bottom" moments in order to quit. It's gotta be real bad to override a system designed mainly for positive reinforcement.

Whilst knowing all this doesn't stop the problems you can at least now forgive yourself for being wired perfectly normally.
You don't really have 'an addicts brain' , you simply have a human brain.

Drug taking is a futile attempt to find peace and happiness.....when you realise you already have that within you the need to look for it outside disappears. The lure back to using gets weaker and weaker when feeling content is back in your own hands.

I am going to print this out. So very helpful. Thanks Kuya

[NoSugar]

If we were deterred by non-life threatening negative experiences then we would give up on many things necessary for our survival too early.

I'm not sure how many second children there'd be if we weren't programmed to forget or at least have hazy memories :smile:.

[JackieClaire]

Just a quick fly by............got S&H and his GF here for their dinner.:love:

[sweetpea29]

Hello all of ye army folk

It's been a while and I'm very sorry for not being in touch. Especially with you both Molls and Jacks, to whom I owe my sobriety x

Hope yis don't mind me calling in to say 'hi' and hope ye all are well?

[NoSugar]

What a nice surprise to see you, Sweetpea! I hope all is well with you and that your job is maybe a bit less stressful. (Mine is driving me crazy at the moment - I need some new coping skills.)
Congratulations on being well past 1000 days AF - I always think of you when I post my days because I was chasing you :smile:. xx, NS

[sweetpea29]

Ah lovely to see ye both Sugar and Molls

Can't believe how much time has passed since I was last here. It wasn't a conscious decision to stay away -and I have thought of ye all and wondered how ye were doing... The more time passed the harder it became to come back and post-dunno why...

Life is much the same, no better or worse than before. Work is no less stressful and I do maybe need to change but I'm still so unsure of myself and lacking the confidence!
I am an Aunty now for the first time a gorgeous boy, born in September. Christening next week and I'm godmother

Glad to say I'm still sober and rarely think of the stuff now. Just look back at the woes it caused me and wonder why I didn't quit sooner.

How are ye both? And the families?

Apologies for taking so long replying X out of practice with posting!

[sweetpea29]

well it's great to see you anyway --- never feel you can't come back -- that would be awful -- in my case much the same really -- dunno how long it is since you were here -- Jilly my daughter is back living with us -- her relationship broke up in Canada and - well shall we say - an extremely difficult time ensued -- but she's home 6 months now and beginning to pull all the bits of her life back together --
other than that not much has changed for me -- sorry the work situation hasn't eased somewhat --- and SUPER bout the wee baby -- Simons two children are 3 and half and heading for two.... little darlings 0 they were here this afternoon -- and that's about it really!!

Ah no Molls, poor Jilly! I thought that sounded quite the serious relationship, was he not home last Christmas with youse?
Has she got work back home? Glad she's getting things back together any how's x. Heart goes out to her though, been through a few break-ups in my time and it weren't nice.

Are u still off the smokes? I really want/ need to stop but just can't do it! Any tips?'

[kuya]

I'm not sure how many second children there'd be if we weren't programmed to forget or at least have hazy memories :smile:.

Haha so true and really does prove the point

[sweetpea29]

Will defo try be around a bit more Molls. I did miss yis
Fingers crossed for Jilly getting into St.Pats x
Think I'm gonna need more than 3 days locked up somewhere to quit the smokes but will see!

Gotta go iron uniforms

[kuya]

smokes first --- spoke about it here earlier today --- 3 days of horrible --- 3 weeks of bit yucky pissed off --- rest of your life --- ridiculously easy --- can't say I NEVER think of them --- through the drama's with Jilly I probably gagged for one a few times -- but only for seconds -- and relief that it was that and not the grog --- do it... it's a friggin doddle -- give yourself a 3 day window when nothing dramatic is going to happen and then you'll be home clear..

TOTALLY agree.... I spent 2 years panicking and getting 2 days here and there thinking it was going to be hell and then took 3 days over easter and was then fine. Had a bit of depression after a few weeks which I fixed by taking inisitol and then melatonin.

Like Molls said, you have moments when you get stressed and want one but they pass real fast.

I found quitting smokes harder than drinking but that was mainly due to the fact I was a very heavy smoker and I smoked ALL day whereas I only drank in the evening. The brain is wired for routines.