One Step at a Time - December 2015

[Lizann]

I agree with cowboy Mama. Attitude is everything! For me it's often hard to have the right attitude, but you're rocking it!

[fennel]

Aw Fen, congrats on the possible new job! In my experience from my hiring days when I was at the College, we only did reference and criminal background checks on the people we were hiring! Thinking you'll be off skid row in the not too distant future! :hug:

Now I'm going to give you sh*t! You had me thinking I was dreaming about you or seeing things! I searched high and low through your posts as I wanted to comment on the posts you deleted! Mighty sneaky my friend, thanks for fessing up and letting me know I'm not as crazy as I think I am lol

Sorry, cowboy!

I didn't want to seem like I was wallowing.

My mom didn't even visit me one time in the entire five days I was there. I had my hands tied down to the sides of the junior crib so that I couldn't pull out my I.V. It was complete misery. There are so many ways she wasn't there for me when I was a kid. Ugh. I've been reading self help books for my divorce and the abandonment thing came up.

Anyway...I hope I will be hired soon and get out of this basement. And on with my new life.

[fennel]

Grey and rainy here. I guess I'll get my buns out to the gym!

Nora, I hope you're doing okay.

[abcowboy]

Fen, that's what we're here for! Unload all you want!

I remember going to the hospital when I was 4! My older brother (God rest his soul) had to get his tonsils out. He created such a fuss that they sent me along to have mine out as well! Preventive medicine my dad called it lol. Anyway, we were there for 5 days and not once did mom and dad come to see us. It was very disappointing at the time, and it wasn't till years later when I grew into a rebellious teenager that I told my mom that she didn't love us, didn't care what happened to us, and I used the example of the hospital stay to re-inforce my point. It brought her to tears and she sat me down and explained... It tore her heart out not to come and visit, but she phoned everyday to check up on us. She said they were recommended not to visit by the hospital staff, it would make it harder for my brother and I to have to stay when they left and might slow down the healing process!

I carried that resentment for years over nothing! All I had to do was ask why, but I'd already formed my own conclusions, and it affected how I viewed my parents for years. Sometimes things aren't what they seem, they are what we make them out to be.....

[mama bear]

That's a nice post Cowboy...I am glad you confronted your Mom and healed a little.
I have spent the day finishing the tree and grocery shopping. I had to get my meds with no insurance....I will have new insurance in 90 days, and it cost $300 damn dollars.! Anyway thanks for the nice words about my attitude...I'll take some of the credit but I AM on AD's, so that probably helped.
Rusty, I hope you had a lovely brunch, and Fenny - vent away.
Hi Lizz! Love to Nora and Dots and Pauly.
Off to Nana's

[NoraC]

Happy Sunday

Sad posts about the hospital stays. I didn't get to read Fen's but it sounds awful. I'll bet that there are many adults that are still living with that sense of abandonment. That was probably standard practice then to tell the parents to stay away. Then the staff didn't have to worry about dealing with frantic parents.

Fen - really excited about the call back. Why would they bother unless they intended to hire you.

Not much to report around here. Doing ok - just don't have much get up & go today. LOL

Thank you all for being here. Special hugs to you all. :hug:

[Lizann]

Wow, cowboy thanks for that info! I'm going to ask my mom about it too, see if she was advised against visiting as well, I distinctly remember being hysterical when they left! How many kids heads did they mess with, with that kind of advice? I'm glad it's different now. Perhaps there will be fewer adults drinking or on ADs because of the changes.

[Rusty]

Good Monday Morning, Friends!

My brunch was a total success and we all had a blast! Great food, family, friends, lively conversation, and I got some really lovely Christmas gifts!! I flopped into bed at 8:00 PM, exhausted, elated, and grateful!!!

Liz-I promise I will give you the recipe for my mom's Cheese Strata. It is a wonderful brunch dish that will feed 8 people. :-) I will try and get the recipe to you in the next few days.

ABC-how I wish I had confronted people instantly when they did things that hurt me and I thought the absolutely worst scenario about their intentions...like your mother being told not to visit you in the hospital. I held onto resentments, NEEDLESSLY, for YEARS. Resentment was a huge trigger for my drinking. So glad I outgrew them. :-)

Fenny-fingers and toes crossed in the hopes that you get this job! You sure deserve a break!

Mama-I hear you on the painful cost of insurance! My health care provider is going out of business and I had to find a new carrier...very good insurance but at a whopping $624/month!

Nora-how are you holding up, honey? You are an amazing pillar of strength to everyone here. Were you able to enjoy your weekend?

Pauly-what are you doing today??? I know you suffer from "Mondayitis" a lot so I hope you are ok. HUGS to Las Vegas.

Skendall-come out, come out, wherever you are! I miss you!!!

Ok, kids, I have to prepare for my trip to the Twin Cities...so I better get moving. If you don't hear from me in the next couple of days, please don't worry. I have a long drive (6 hrs.) there and back and I will be working long hours while I'm there. I am so grateful for all of you!!!

[paulywogg]

Hey all,Rusty,glad you had a wonderful get together safe travels my friend, sorry I'm so quiet lately, just in a bah humbuggy kinda mood,I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas I love the holiday but the stress to make it the way I want it is nerve wracking, tiny thoughts of al,I won't lie but I'm not goingthere! I just gotta focus,take it slow and think ppositive thoughts instead of bullshit think I'm gonna start 5 htp again,been using a turmeric supplement but I'm not sure its doing its job,Mama,how much are rental houses in your area? Hope you find a good one,Nora,how's mom? Fen,I'm excited for the post job,hope it all goes smoothly, Liz,how's little Lucy? I love that pup off to fix my face and fro,much love to all,let's have a Mondayitis free day

[Lizann]

Good morning! Dreary warm day here. Trying not to let that affect my mood.
Pauly, Lucy is so freaking cute! Did you see the picture I posted on FB of her? She needs to be groomed, but I don't want to deal with the crowds at the groomers until after the holiday. I want to make sure they give my princess the proper attention. She deserves.
Have you tried taking vitamin D3? I swear it's helping my mood.
Hubby has a party tomorrow night with his runners club at a great little resturant/bar that I love. I declined and honestly am ok with it. Go figure.
Rusty, I'm glad you're party was a success. Have fun in the twin cities. That's actually on my bucket list. I don't know why, but it is.
Nora, how's it going? How do you manage mom when you work? My coworker is taking care of her parents and it appears it will require a lot of schedule shuffling with me. I'm ok with that.
Mama, the pic of your son at nanas was cute. I'm assuming that was after dinner.
Fen, any news yet on the job? I guess a back ground check takes awhile. I know when my girls applied to sub teach here in town, they had to do that. Once they came back clear they were teaching. Is that something you could do? Just a thought?
Well off to start my day. Have a happy Monday.

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all
Rain and yucky here today. I am heading to the gym shortly. Need to stay on top of that for sure.
Still seeing Jon but I dont think he will last long term. He is too demanding and wants to be together all the time. I guess he and his late wife didn't have much of a social life. NOT what I want. I love to dance to and dont want give that up or any of my other activities. So we shall see what happens. I am not going to worry about it. There are plenty of men out there...LOL

[NoraC]

Hey all - I'm here checking in.
I've had a rash in a couple different areas for the past week. Thought it would get better but no luck. Think it was a reaction to an antibiotic that I finished taking last week. So, I have an appointment this afternoon to get checked out.

Been sort of blah. Trying to be happy & motivated but lagging lately. I better get some Christmas presents under the tree soon. Not having done any shopping at all is starting to depress me. Doesn't have to be much but we need something under that tree.

Hope that everyone is having a great day!

[mama bear]

I am home from an insane but good day and I have new property takeover for the rest of the week, so I will check in and out.
Have a safe trip Rusty and I am glad your brunch turned out so well.
Nora - get that rash checked out!
Lizz - I saw Lucy's picture and she's a cutie. Yes, my son was passed out after a huge dinner!!
Hugs to all.....got some work to do to get ready for tomorrow
Pauly - rental houses are between $1100 to $1900/month...... have not even started that chore yet!

[Lizann]

It's early but I'm gonna turn in early. Busy day tomorrow at work and I will be alone.
So glad I was home today. Finished wrapping all my gifts! So now it's just down to baking cookies.
Mama, that pretty reasonable for a rental. Mark was looking into apartments in the D.C. area that went for that much, and that was a studio!
Fen, hope all is ok with you.
Dottie, good to hear from you. You've been exclusive with Jon for a bit of time now? Will he be celebrating Christmas with you?
Nora, yes talk yourself out of those blahs, I've heard that works. It should be so easy, huh.
Are you looking forward to Christmas?
Hey rusty and Paula!

[NoraC]

Hello everyone. We're heading to bed soon but wanted to check in.

Liz - you are sounding really good. I'm thinking about trying that vitamin d3 you were talking about. I'm really not blah - just have had so much going on that I haven't been able to get into the spirit. But, I'm working on it.

Don't have time to comment on anything but boy it was nice to be able to get on for a few minutes. I get e-mails from a site Tired of Drinking. The one today talked about a 'Prelapse'. Interesting. I always had a 'prelapse' before I started drinking again. Started thinking about 'moderating', things would be different, stopped actively working on my sobriety. I have been a little concerned lately that I am not connected enough here and sure enough, I read that e-mail and know it's true. So, even if I don't have time to write much, I will definitely make sure that I am reading daily.

Did go to the Dr. She is pretty sure it was the antibiotic. So, now that is 5 antibiotics I can't take. Anyway, got a steroid shot and an antihistamine shot. And prescriptions for both of those. The last time I took steroids, I had problems with mood swings. So, watch out! :rotlf: