I totally agree with this, Hoping!:
You ask a really interesting question, LC. What I've noticed in myself for several years (I guess it's part of getting old :wink but especially in the last month since I've been exposed to the 3Ps is that it's ok to "put up" with a ton of stuff - it doesn't mean you're a pushover or have no sense of self worth. The fact is, so much of all that just doesn't matter. There are limits to that, of course, and I'm not sure how each of us figures out where those are but I do know that many things I used to passionately defend were just my shaky ego needing to assert itself to the max!
I listened to a short podcast last night before I went to sleep. It gave me a lot to think about -- how we are choosing how we feel all the time. It's hard to believe given the wide range of external factors that seem to affect us but it seems like there's something there:
In those moments. When experiencing real struggle, I have a strange, but oh so universal tendency to add some proper beating-myself-up-for-it. And being the Mr.Fix guy I am, I really fast start thinking that I need to fix who I am. I start believing I desperately need to figure out how to make myself better/different than what I currently am, cuz this shit definitely ain’t working!
I even tend to take it personally. “MY life sucks, I’m the victim of shiftiness, this must mean I’m not doing this life the right way, not good enough. I’m not worthy, hence; Ineed to fix. I need to figure out a way to become worthy and good enough.”
Out of nowhere, I’ve created a monster. I find myself in a checkmate situation. I’ve created a problem I can’t solve. A perfect way to add more frustration to my frustration.Spread some overthinking on that worry, would’ya?
This activity of desperately trying to manage my feelings is actually one of the crappiest ways to get back to a clear mind. But then and there it looks like the best idea ever. It seems like the only option. It looks real to me that it’s my job to change how I feel.
But finding myself feeling shitty only means one thing; at that moment, I’m apparentlygenerating a shitty experience for myself.
There’s nothing to do about it. Let me explain…
On my drive home today I'm going to listen to this: NPP 023 : Lucy Bainbridge - Life Is Taking Care Of You - MortenHake.com (Lucy Bainbridge, a life transformation coach and clarity practitioner and founder of LucyForLife.com. Her aim is to help people with addictive behaviour find their purpose and live happily, free of dependency.)
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