The Three Principles Discussion Thread

[little beagle]

I think it gets easier as you get older Kuya.

[kuya]

I think it gets easier as you get older Kuya.

I think it takes the correct upbringing LB.

The materialist world would have me believe that my body IS me, therefore I must dress it, slim it, preen it, style it, surgery it even.

If someone had told me when I was a child that my body was only the vehicle DNA gave me to ride through life I might have not wasted so much energy feeling proud (or bad) about something of little real importance.

I am making sure my daughter has a clear understanding that her body is not 'her'.

It is fine and commendable to feed it and exercise it well, but whether life gave you a Prius or a Ferrari or a Humber it needs to be well maintained and driven with care.

No matter what 'car' nature gave you, it gets you from A to B, from birth to death.

Envying the Humber will make you overlook the advantages of the Prius, and the beauty of the Ferrari may be counterbalanced by its expensive upkeep.

We were never too young to hear these things, most of us simply lacked the teachers.

[kuya]

I am starting a mentor relationship soon with an amazing person who has been part of the 3Ps network for decades.

So excited!

[NoSugar]

I must admit I'm envious of you, Kuya. It would be great to have someone to discuss these ideas with and to question. Will you be meeting with this him/her periodically in person or virtually?

I've been watching and reading a lot about the 3Ps and mental illness, with mental illness meaning more of a mental, emotional, or psychological 'dis-ease' than our classic clinical diagnoses of addiction, anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, etc. (although the discussions certainly apply to them, as well). The main message is that we are innately mentally healthy - all of the dis-ease results from our thinking. We don't need to do anything to "fix" ourselves or figure out the source of the problem and most certainly don't need to spend weeks or years going over and over what hurt us, essentially reliving bad experiences, and trying to figure out why we are feeling the way we do. We're feeling that way because of the thoughts we're following.

This morning I woke up with 2 things:
A sore neck and upper back.
A feeling of worry.

I briefly wondered if my neck and back were sore because of the bed I slept on for the last couple nights while traveling was uncomfortable or if it was because my grandson is getting so heavy and I lifted and carried him around a lot yesterday. But I don't really know or care about the source because I know from experience that with time, it will heal itself and I'll feel fine again.

With the worry bit, I started thinking about all the possible sources (work I have to do this week, did I accidently hurt someone's feelings with something I did or didn't say yesterday, a parent's illness, guilt I'm not helping more, should I go to that social event this week that I don't want to attend, etc. ad nauseum) and felt my stomach getting tighter and tighter until I remembered to just stop it. Who knows what if any of those things were the source of my mental dis-ease this morning and it doesn't really matter. As soon as I stopped trying to figure it out, I felt calmer and ready to just go about my day. I do have to do my work this week and decide whether to go to a club meeting but those aren't problems - worrying about them is. My mom's health and my role in helping are things I need to deal with but thinking about how I should be doing more I should be doing more I should be doing more over and over and over doesn't allow any space for good ideas about how I can best help given that I don't live nearby.

For anyone struggling with any kind of mental or emotional dis-ease, I'd highly recommend all the Dr Bill Pettit videos available on youtube and vimeo. It is pretty much the same message over and over, of course, but hearing it in different ways is helpful.

[kuya]

Lost Internet for last two days! Apparently a truck drove into an exchange box.

Simply amazed at how little it bothered me, before 3Ps I would have been stressed and in a state.

I will be doing the mentoring virtually NS. My original choice was a little busy with kids so I took a chance and emailed someone who I simply hoped would be available.
I think I will have one session soon but wait till after my trip to the uk for further sessions. I am excited but distracted now arranging the trip.

I hope everyone is still enjoying the journey, I know I am!

[NoSugar]

Calm is Good, Kuya :smile:. Let us know how your 3P session goes. I would love to do that sometime.

Cruising around the internet via 3P links can lead to some interesting sites. This is a recent BBC documentary about the brain's construction of reality that I thought was really interesting and entertaining: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MSw2irv0-A.

[lifechange]

Hello 3P'ers..
I do love visiting this thread, watching the videos you all recommend.
A little thing happened today... my youngest (11) was in the tub and I went in to wash her hair.. she said quietly, "you know mama, it really helps to know that thoughts are just thoughts and that they go away..it makes it easier when i'm feeling sad.. and i don't get homesick as often..". It's happened the past few months, the last time being a couple of weeks ago, that she's suffered from sadness and anxiety at night before going to bed, worries and general weltschmerz which she can't express clearly in words.. one evening, while we were snuggling and she was crying, I told her what I've learned here, what I've tried to implement into my own life..
Tonight I was so happy to hear that she's been able to make use of it.
I'm still having my ups and downs.. but I can see improvements.

[kuya]

Life change we would all have benefitted from hearing this as children, wouldn't we?

There are some good children's books exploring 3 Ps on Amazon.

Using the 3Ps is a lifelong journey, there are practitioners of 30 years who say it is still changing for them. What I do love is that things never go backwards.... I have a calm now that remains unscathed by events that would have truly upset me before.

As we keep having repeated, 3Ps is a basic principle of thought NOT an application.

There is nothing to apply but simply to realise people are lost in their own, made up, reality....as are we.

The difference is that by knowing it we need no longer be attached to it...it is only thought, it is not real.

And the most positive aspect is that our thoughts can change at any moments, returning us to peace and well being.

[lifechange]

Yeah, Kuya,
I've noticed that keeps getting in my way/confusing me.. that it isn't some sort of application to be implemented. I want to "use it".

NS, I liked the BBC doc about the brain and our perceived realities.. crazy.
I'm also getting a lot from the 3 Principles for state of mind that Starty posted awhile ago..

Thanks...

[kuya]

Will be really busy for the next few weeks so probably won't be on much. Going on a trip to the uk and need to book and plan.

Another reason 3Ps appeals to me is that all the long time practitioners are light hearted and the ones I have met have had a great sense of humour. They are not omming saints sitting in a transcendental haze.

It pays to remember it is all a cosmic joke, life is a roller coaster, enjoy the ride folks!

[NoSugar]

Yeah, Kuya,
I've noticed that keeps getting in my way/confusing me.. that it isn't some sort of application to be implemented. I want to "use it".

It is weird not to have something to use or do. What I've noticed, though, is I have to remember. I read some things this weekend that felt like were making me angry and upset. Those bad, uncomforatable feelings reminded me to look at my thinking and of course, that's where they were coming from. But it sure didn't seem like it at first - it felt like the words I read were at fault. Maybe at some point that remembering is more automatic but for me right now, it's more of an active process so in a way, I guess I am doing something - but it is nice and quick and while I still didn't like what I was reading, I understood my reactions better and didn't respond from a hurt, angry place.

[NoSugar]

I made a new recipe for extended family this weekend - 2 people liked it, a couple were ambivalent, one hated it, and I loved it. While not all the responses pleased me, I wasn't surprised and didn't wonder how we all could have responded so differently to the exact same thing. I didn't feel the need to tell the naysayers that they liked similar recipes or that they liked each of the ingredients in the recipe - and so should have liked what I made. Food preference is pretty subjective and we all seem to know and accept that. But if I'd gotten such different responses to an idea that I loved and considered reasonable, I know I would have been shocked that this apparently homogeneous group didn't share my thinking. And I would have wanted to defend my position and point out the logic of it. That's probably as pointless as trying to convince someone that they actually like a food they don't care for at all.

[kuya]

I am reading 'The relationship handbook' by George Pransky and would highly recommend it.

I think it's simple message is that regardless of the issues, or what stage you are at, to always focus on the positive as that is what started the relationship. Marriage counselling commonly fails as the focus is on fixing problems/other people.

Truth is we NEVER fix other people, they change if and when they want to. Remaining loving and positive (provided you do not endanger yourself) allows them to change.

I have mentioned my 'problem' son a number of times, the struggle to get him to work, quit drugs and mature etc. Since I have changed MY approach to him he has blossomed. Last week he was laid off and we all feared a meltdown but today he said he was going for a interview for a job none of us would have thought he would have tried for before. Amazing!

Simply stopping the pressure on him to change has changed him. Showing him how much I wanted to spend time with him and not spoiling that time talking about 'his' problems was the magic switch.

No matter what the behaviour that is causing friction the desire to change comes from the enjoyment had during time when that behaviour isn't occurring.

I hope this makes sense

[narilly]

That makes a lot of sense Kuya. I pop in here and read a few times a week and find lots of good tid bits from you guys. Tonight I am going to watch that documentary NS. Thank you for that.
I have changed the way I relate to my son too Kuya. I just let him be and try not to put my expectations on him. He seems to be doing really well and I think he is happy. He will find his way. He is working 2 jobs and paying me rent and he is going to travel for awhile and then go to school. That is his plan for now.

Anyway, thanks for this thread everyone.

[lifechange]

Kuya, that is exactly what I needed to read in this moment..
it totally makes sense and I do notice a difference in how I'm relating to my kids, friends and people at work.. but it is SO much more difficult in a romantic relationship. I just haven't got it yet. I get glimpses of, "ah, yeah, this is what it's about".. but more than that I'm thinking, "damn, this is work.. good work, but nonetheless, work".

I'll have to look for that book..