The Three Principles Discussion Thread

[kuya]

oh crikey -- there's plenty not right or good about me Kuya -- but maybe because I learnt from the masters in rehab (and they were -- they were extraordinary people -- it was all about so much more than addiction - it was living life happily really) - maybe I know when I'm doing it wrong -- doesn't mean I then do the right thing -- but I know what the right thing is --- could that be a bit of it... I dunno -- loving this tho --- want to open that link for NS's movie... can't

I am having problems accessing that movie too... my wifi is unstable and it won't download.

And I really was talking about me... I am so aware of how little I give back but I am not sure where to start. So forgive me for projectingosteroops:

[IamMary]

Melting head here, but I will stick with it, until something sticks.

I can relate to the bowls in the kids room, that makes sense - My kids probably think I have a split personality as Im calm over one situation and freak over the same thing the next day.

Like Molly and anticipating Joe's mood, or maybe its not like that at all.. small example - Im usually flapping getting the kids out the door for school - barking orders, blah blah blah. Ignoring the fact that I should be more organised, does this stress not serve to create an urgency to make everyone move quicker?
If I could replace that feeling of stress and panic with one of calm, could we all be late for school??

[IamMary]

That movie I AM is not on the Ireland Netflix by the way, but a Hola extension in chrome or something similar will get around it, if anyone wants to watch on your PC/laptop.

[kuya]

This is a longer discussion on 3P work with one of my favourite speakers Michael Neill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCi83BkCHv0

I hope everyone is having a great day

[kuya]

I tried to access NS's movie but maybe need to look again -- I feel maybe I'm not clever enough for this thread -- I'm a very simple soul and I like when things are explained by examples rather than abstract concepts --
could this be it --- Joe is about to embark on a week of working 14 hour days - that's all --- that's the 'fact' --- that's the 'event' that will happen -- I am already 'thinking'? 'predicting'? his bad humour - his negativity - his crankiness rubbing off on everyone in the house -- the non festive mood for a week - because that's happened before --- and so what if it does -- how I handle that is what is important -- so rather than projecting what may or will happen I need to not be thinking about it too much or at all and make each hour and day as simple and pleasant as possible for me....... -- is this extraordinarily simplistic?

Hey Molly the point you made about Joe wasnt in your original post, didn't reply to it cos it wasn't there. (ended with ? before)

I think your anxiety about his upcoming increased workload is completely justified and it would be good to discuss the atmosphere he is creating before it occurs.

George Pransky is the go to guy for relationship work

The Relationship Handbook: Dr. George Pransky Ph.D.: 9780971198807: Amazon.com: Books

[starty]

3 ps and party fear. Well I have been dreading today as I have to attend the works Christmas party. Well I say dreading it but I kind of stopped dreading it over the past few days. Not exactly looking forward to it but not dreading it. My thinking was what was making me dread it. What if someone offers me a drink, what do I say, will they think I am weird, boring etc. Will I have anything to say and all that encompassed in a knotted stomach and fear and dread.

Over the last few days of watching and reading about the 3ps I cannot pretend I have "got it" but I certainly do feel more comfortable with this situation. Don't ask me why but maybe something is rubbing off on me. I certainly hope so. I will keep watching, listening and learning so that my thoughts do not paralyse me any more.

[kuya]

3 ps and party fear. Well I have been dreading today as I have to attend the works Christmas party. Well I say dreading it but I kind of stopped dreading it over the past few days. Not exactly looking forward to it but not dreading it. My thinking was what was making me dread it. What if someone offers me a drink, what do I say, will they think I am weird, boring etc. Will I have anything to say and all that encompassed in a knotted stomach and fear and dread.

Over the last few days of watching and reading about the 3ps I cannot pretend I have "got it" but I certainly do feel more comfortable with this situation. Don't ask me why but maybe something is rubbing off on me. I certainly hope so. I will keep watching, listening and learning so that my thoughts do not paralyse me any more.

The strangest thing about it is exactly that... at the beginning something rubs off and onto you.

That was what excited me so much... you do not have to DO anything... your thinking shifts and the world starts to look different

[kuya]

A nice bit of 3P counselling in action from Jamie Smart (author of Clarity)

Jamie Smart Coaches A New Member Of The Audience - YouTube

[NoSugar]

Starty, it sounds like we've had similar, seemingly unexplainable subtle changes. Realizing that "dread" exists only because of my thinking is revolutionary for me. If your party has happened already, I hope it was tolerable and maybe even fun.

As I wrote in the Army thread, I read part I of Clarity while traveling yesterday. I vacillated between thinking I was really "getting it" and being totally confused and thinking the whole thing was stupid - that a bunch of gurus were making tons of $$ selling books and conducting workshops to convince us that the way to be happy and healthy is to do nothing (it would be a pretty brilliant scheme, wouldn't it??). But -- I've experienced an unusually quiet mind and less stress since beginning an exploration of all this so I think there is something here worth pursuing. The little glimpses of understanding that I had are giving me the confidence to stick with it.

Both Jamie Smart and Michael Neill talk about how small children engage in life as examples of our innate wholeness, health, and wisdom. I've spent time most days for the last 10 months with our new grandson (I guess he's not so new anymore). Unlike when I had my kids and I was so busy, I've spent much of my time with him just observing. I had noticed and even commented to my daughter on many of the things that it turned out that Smart and Neil write about. It hadn't occurred to me before that that way of Being isn't knocked out of us by life, merely covered up, and maybe we can access it again. If I'm fortunate enough to stay involved in his daily life, I hope I can help him not let this part of himself be buried.

[kuya]

Starty, it sounds like we've had similar, seemingly unexplainable subtle changes. Realizing that "dread" exists only because of my thinking is revolutionary for me.



I vacillated between thinking I was really "getting it" and being totally confused and thinking the whole thing was stupid - that a bunch of gurus were making tons of $$ selling books and conducting workshops to convince us that the way to be happy and healthy is to do nothing (it would be a pretty brilliant scheme, wouldn't it??).




Both Jamie Smart and Michael Neill talk about how small children engage in life as examples of our innate wholeness, health, and wisdom.

It is no surprise to see these comments... it is exactly the thought processes I had during those first days after finding the principles.


In the past I have read other 'self-help' type books, been excited for a day or two then become depressed because I wasn't 'practicing' what I had read, then had forgotten all about them within a couple weeks.


Initially I was desperate to find someone experienced here in New Zealand to discuss 3Ps with and emailed a woman found through the 3Pmovies site.
She told me that she had been a trained psychotherapist all her life but no longer practiced as such full time. Here is her actual reply to me (names edited)



Hi xxxx , I Used to but I am retired now. I am happy to have a session to help people find their way, but besides a one-off I wouldn't be able to help. For some people that is enough if they grasp the concept of the 3Ps. Let me know if you are interested in that.

Warm regards xxxx



Truth sings



This brings me to another implication of 3Ps, that is that there is no point to therapy in respect of hours of going over old memories.

Sidney Banks stated this very clearly, that dredging up old pain serves no purpose and just recreates old pain through thought felt, once again, through emotions.



I did 4 years of therapy and I gained the following

"your mother was, indeed, a fuckwit and your life was hard but you survived it"

......... well Derr

[kuya]

:hahaha: sorry Kuya that did make me laugh tho --- it's so friggin true really (not about yer mother obviously --- didn't know her:happy2

like NS -- I drift in and out of this -- and I too feel like I've sort of been released a bit -- it's like I've been given permission not to brood - not to worry - not to angst about what may or may have happened/may happen/will happen --- I'm not a bad mother/wife/friend if I just let my mind sort of empty..... now I have to state -- I'm having a few good days anyway -- nobody around me is much annoying me anyway -- so maybe it's dead easy to feel like this - whereas if a major hassle happened -- how empty can I keep my mind --- dunno is the answer..... mmmm

All I can say is that after a few months (3 to be exact) I am still feeling calm and, well, different. I do not work at it and I still forget from time to time that it is my thinking that is causing my pain.

It is, however, really easy to laugh at myself and adjust my thinking. There is no effort involved.

To STAY in painful thinking is actually what now requires effort.... I almost have to WANT to beat myself up.

[starty]

Oh I love this thread. It is so full of stuff that resonates with me. That feeling of being calmer but not being able to explain it. The fact that years of therapy are not the answer (which made me chuckle Kuya!) And mostly that subtle way of feeling that life is actually OK.

NS, the party was tolerable

[starty]

Jamie Smart quote. "if you are feeling shitty, chances are you are looking in the wrong direction"

[starty]

Definitely worth a watch

https://youtu.be/O6__zlea-X4

[IamMary]

On my watch list, thanks Starty.

Watched I Am last night. As mentioned on the Army thread, really worth watching - very thought provoking and compliments the 3 principles.

I lot of thinking does I suppose - like Marcus Aurelius, a thinker so ahead of his time and very much aligned with the 3Ps.
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth".