The Three Principles Discussion Thread

[starty]

Oh and I finished Steve Chandlers Death wish last night. Bloody marvellous book. Simple, to the point and above all helpful

[NoSugar]

Hi kuya and NS, and everyone else of course! I've been following along here but didn't think I had much else to add. What I can say is that understanding and utilizing the 3P's (I call it thought redirection as that's the term my counsellor used) is valuable in all area's of life not just quitting drinking. It has been a great tool for me to reduce stress, depression, anxiety, etc as well as keeping my quit intact. Once you get on to it, it becomes so natural. I think everyone can benefit from it!

Hi, Cowboy. Hopeful2014 also was exposed to the 3Ps in rehab. I'd hoped she would participate in this thread more, too, but it occurs to me that once you understand how we experience life via thought, consciousness, and mind and realize that you're innately fine and don't need to drink to make it so, there really isn't much else to say unless you're inspired to share the 3Ps with others, which I am so grateful Kuya was. We'd love to hear any insights from you (and Hopeful!!) if they occur to you, though. You might say just the right thing to help others understand what we're trying to point to. Understanding this can change lives (I speak first-hand here) and like you said, not just concerning addiction.

Oh and I finished Steve Chandlers Death wish last night. Bloody marvellous book. Simple, to the point and above all helpful

So glad your read and appreciated it, Starty. I wish we could make it MWO required reading :wink:.

[NoSugar]

I used to bottle up my emotions and could only be touchy-feely affectionate or cry in that soul-cleansing way when I drank. I so clearly remember taking hot bubble baths, drinking red wine, and blaring Elton John ballads, sobbing. It felt so good and it was the only way I could do it.

I hadn't listened to that EJ CD in years but late last week when I was soaking in the tub (trying to relax about some anticipated upcoming family tension), I popped that CD in. It didn't take long until I was crying - hard. It was a relief - some of the tension went away.

The point is - I can cry (and be affectionate) without wine. All of that is part of ME. I'm sure I don't need Elton John emoting loudly, either, but I appreciate that my Pavlovian response to listening to that music while feeling stressed proved to me that I do not need alcohol to make me feel the way I want to feel. It unmasks but cannot create.

The family tension didn't develop - I could so clearly see everyone living in their thoughts of the moment - doing the best they could given what they know. It is such a liberating understanding. xx, NS

[paulywogg]

That's crazy NS cuz I DID THE SAME THING! would get sooo emotionally blocked, feeling like I needed to cry but the tears would never come,until I'd drink, start listening to music and just sit there balling my eyes out,that so weird that I'm not the only one, now I just let tears fly when they come

[starty]

I well up much more often than I did. Mainly over sad or simply emotional things like the seeing someone do well in the para's for example. I just put it down to menopause :beast:

[Siren53]

I'm a sap and have been known to cry when any emotion gets overwhelming - crying at the olympics is a good example. Budweiser commercials (with the Clydesdales) is another. I hate it. But I don't typically cry "in real life". I cry when I'm very frustrated. I cried my eyes out when my ex told me he wanted a divorce and I knew he meant it. I try not to cry in front of people.

[lifechange]

I also cry a lot!!! :happy2: Like you, Siren, with any overwhelming emotion..

Just wanted to pop in and say that I've been listening to Pettit and Banks and I'm noticing that it's sinking in. Without trying.. very strange because, like I've read you all say here, in the beginning I was looking for something to "do", trying to figure out what to "do" with my thoughts.. and somehow now, just since Wednesday, I've noticed subtle differences.. very nice..

[NoSugar]

Good for you, LC. It is hard not to feel like there is an action to take. But there really isn't other than what you are doing - listening and reading with a calm, open mind.

At the moment I sort of feel like I wish I didn't know about the 3Ps! I'm feeling like other people are stressing me out and I would kind of like to be able to just blame them, and not know that what I'm feeling comes only from my thoughts about what they do and say. But it is like that arrow in the FedEx logo - it's almost impossible to un-see!!

The good thing is that I know the anxiety I'm feeling right now will pass. And while I can't MAKE it go away, it will. This is the exact feeling I used to drink away. Thankfully I've no interest in doing that anymore.

[lifechange]

yeah, NS, I am just beginning to understand what you said about the arrow.. and it is getting easier to really know the anxiety will pass. crazy.
My problem now seems to be knowing when to and then which boundaries to set. I keep thinking that if I stay patient the answers will present themselves to me... anyway, I'm enjoying reading and listening..please keep posting the links to the web casts, etc that you really like!

[NoSugar]

I really like any by Dickens Bettinger so if you search on that name, you'll find some good ones :hug:.

[NoSugar]

A weekend that had me stressed out has passed and of course, none of the horrors I'd created actually happened. I could have saved myself such grief if I'd not focused on my negative thoughts, allowing them to grow way out of proportion --- trying to meet my own expectations and those that I perceive others have of me. Kuya sent me a great video that illustrates what we do to ourselves: YouTube. Be sure to actually watch the cartoon. I'd listened to this before but the animation really brings the ideas to life.

[lifechange]

Thanks for the dragon story.. it's of help to me this morning!:happy2:

[satz123]

That's crazy NS cuz I DID THE SAME THING! would get sooo emotionally blocked, feeling like I needed to cry but the tears would never come,until I'd drink, start listening to music and just sit there balling my eyes out,that so weird that I'm not the only one, now I just let tears fly when they come

Me too - did EXACTLY the same.

[lifechange]

Hi friends..
I'm having a really hard time letting go of someone I love, who's been/was a close part of my life for the past year but who I know isn't good for me. I've kept my heart and my mind open "just in case"..even though for the past couple of months he hasn't even given enough of himself to reciprocate a very casual friendship, let alone a close relationship. I know my life would be so much easier, more harmonious, lighter if I could let go. I guess I'm just writing this to get it off my chest.

[abcowboy]

That's always a hard thing to do LC, but sometimes the things we find hardest to let go of are the things that are holding us back the most. You'll make the right decision when the time is right.