New Here

[berly429]

Hi to all!...I am a new user and not sure how this works...but here is my story...I have been drinking for many years...and finally I realize...it is time to stop. I have lost my marriage, been in jail...car wrecks that i dont even remember...lost respect from my boys...(twins...18)...which is the hardest part...most recently...i fell down the steps at home and broke my hand...good thing that was all i broke...i have lied to myself in the past....saying i was going to quit drinking...but secretly knowing...it wasnt happening...i was drinking a bottle of vodka a day...alone...i would take a fruit juice bottle to work...of course filled with vodka....just to get me home....but recently something as happened...and i know now...in my heart...this time...i want to quit...as i said...i have 18 year old twin boys...my one son quit school and moved in with his dad...which he is doing good for himself with a good job and a hardworker...my other son just graduated high school last week...i was/am so proud of him...he has his future all mapped out for himself...pretty good for an 18 year old...National Guards and then college...we had a really horrible fight between us earlier that week (which he had to tell me about the next day)...i told him i was sorry...as usual...and i thought things were good...come friday...he went to a party...and i spent the evening...drinking alone...passed out to wake up to him coming home in the early am...so drunk...he couldnt even stand...he wanted to go to the store...and i said i would go with him...we got our stuff and he said he was pulling the car up...i didnt want him to do it...because of him being drunk...well he did anyway...i pushed the cart to the front realizing i didnt have any money or my card...went out to the car and find him...he wanted to know where the stuff was and i told him...he started calling me names and smacked me...i told him i wanted the keys to drive...he just got really angry...calling me more names...and wanting to fight with me...(and i know that this was from the incident that he bottled up earlier in the week...his friend from the party said he kept talking about the fight we had)...i was screaming and crying...not believing this was happening (this never has happened before)...and someone called the police...he was arrested for domestic violence and assult...(i am not filing charges)...it is just breaking my heart to know that he is in jail and this could affect his future...and i dont want to see that happen...he has worked so hard to get where he is...that is why...i know...it is time to quit drinking...he drank a whole bottle of vodka that night...straight...i know...he shouldnt have hit me...but honeslty...i blame myself and my drinking...i know it isnt going to be easy...but i am going to work so hard on it...with support from AA...and hopefully this site...Please pray for me...and for my son...
Sorry to ramble...like I said...I am new to this...

[ducky]

New Here

Welcome Berly,

What a terrible thing you have been through. I hope you will find strength from AA and from this site. Please make sure you read the book and get the supps. There are lots of people here to help you through. It's good that you are ready for a change. :welcome:

[berly429]

New Here

Thank you...and yes...it has been alot of terrible things that I have been thru...but I put myslef there...and I now realize...that without the alchol...these things wouldnt be happening like this...
and what book are you talking about?

[wwbarb]

New Here

Berly, at the "health store" link at the top of the page you can download the PDF version of the MWO story for $12.95. It's an excellent book and describes the program in detail.

Keep reading, keep posting, and :welcome:

[Guest]

New Here

Berly,
Welcome! You are in a good place. We have all done some foolish..STUPID as hell things! I myself have within a one year time frame totaled 3 cars, was in jail, in the hospital twice, etc, etc...list goes on and on...BUT, I am now 8 week alcohol free. It can be done. I never thought I'd see the day...ever. The support here is unbelievable and the book and supps DO HELP. I am so sorry this nightmare you are going through, but you have today to start new. God Bless you!!! Hugs!!!

[roxane]

New Here

berly, welcome

you've had a wake up call, seeing your son in such a state has really brought it home to you. you have got as low as you can handle. you knew before but wouldnt admit it to yoursel and/or know what to do about it, you have come to the right place!

read all you can from here and think about how you want to approach this, but i would say, the amount you drink, seeing the doctor would be advisable.

good luck and well done for starting on the road to recovery.

roxane

[Quiescent]

New Here

Berly, welcome! I wish I could give you a hug:l

Don't let what has happened in the past define who you will become in the future. Your future starts today! Isn't that great?

Best of luck to you....please keep us posted.

Hugs,
Rachele

[betty boop]

New Here

Berly, A huge BB welcome for you ...............

Your story sure tugs at the heart strings ...... Be strong, you CAN do this.

As everyone else will tell you, we have ALL done stupid things.

Love & Hugs, BB xx Attached files [img]/converted_files/262300=490-attachment.gif[/img]

[Guest]

New Here

Berly, welcome I too have done many frightening things while drinking. This is an excellent place to start recovery. I feel for both you and your son. You start new today, you can't change yesterday. God knows if you could I sure would! I hope it's not going to be to hard on your son, shouldn't be, 1st time offense with a bright future ahead of him. I know thoses words he said hurt you, my daughter has said things to me that this day sting. But looking back will get us no where. my friend, lets concentrate on making you the best you can be, and we all will help!
Smiles & Hugs
mary

[Saint Jude]

New Here

Berly,:welcome:
Your story has a very familiar ring to me.. as well... I never used to go anywhere w/out my 7up bottle full of vodka. I've also rolled a few trucks... I guess ya could say I've had someone "watching" out for me more times than I can remember...
I'm very thankful I'm the only one who I ever injured in any of those accidents, and not very badly, amazingly.

You've definately found a wonderful place here. I'm glad you're here.
Life is so precious and there's so much to be loved & enjoyed ...
It's hard to do that from inside of a bottle, feeling sick & tired all of the time.
I know I've done it. I do hope you get RJ's book, and get some supps, that's a great way to get started, keep reading & posting. This place can change your life.
It's a wonderful thing to feel alive again.:h
:l
Judie

[berly429]

New Here

first...i want to say to all of you...thanks...i know you understand where i am coming from...unlike my ex...who told me...just stop...it is a diease...sorta like cancer...but i can try to control it...and i know that it wont be easy...today...i am having ups and then downs...and thinking one little drink wont hurt...even though...i know...so i just keep reading all of your thoughts of encouragement...and you dont know (well i am sure you do )...how much it has helped...
Roxanne...you know...i (duh) couldnt put my finger on why this time was so different...cause i have done alot!...and it never has change...but when i read what you wrote...i knew the answer...there is was...in black and white...my son was treating me the way i have been treating him for all of these years...i am suprised that my boys have turned out as well as they have...for all the mental abuse, from drinking, that i put them thru...and i guess it was there...you just had to spell it out for me...i dont want to be treated like that...and my God...these are my kids...i surely dont want to treat them like that anymore...they are my life...therefore...alcohol cannot be...and i am gonna try my hardest not to blackslide...
Mary...i hope you are right...my son does have a bright future and i would hate to see it go to waste over his first mistake as being an adult...and i just dont think it would be fair...i just talked to his twin brother who lives with his deadbeat dad...and asked him if they would be up here...they live 2 hours away...and have to be here tomorrow...for my one son driving without a licences...he said he was going to get his court taken care of and go back home...i was just floored!!...he told me he would be here and have cash for bond (my son makes really good money...and so does my ex...but he gets paid under the table so he doesnt have to pay the tons of back childsupport he owes me)...i just hope he doesnt have to post bond...cause i cant do it...and i dont want to see him sit in jail another day...i was feeling really good about today...and now this...sorry to all for rambling...again...

[Bella]

New Here

Hello berly and welcome. Its fantastic that you have found this site. It has been and is a life-line for me. I seriously would not have been able to stop drinking if it were not for the people here. Stay for a while and you will find that you are not alone and you will be supported and helped, just ask for it. You have decided enough is enough and that is the first very big step. Take one day or one hour at a time and keep reading the posts to give you encouragement to continue. Maybe you could buy the MWO book aswell? Don't give up, your twins need you. And you need them. Love, Bella xxx

[happycamper68]

New Here

Glad you found us- god luck on this path and keep an eye out for those kids- he didn't mean to hurt you but you may have to consider the possibility that he could have a problem too, and that maybe you can do it together if he can get past his resentment. I feel terribly about that incident, my child is too young to know the things I have done and I am trying t fix it before she figures out her mommy is a drunk.

[berly429]

New Here

bella...thanks...and i know that my one son needs me...but as a sober mom...not sure about the one that lives with his dad...when i was talking to him...he just sounded so heartless..and i didnt bring either of them up that way...i know his heartless dad has brainwashed him...and that hurts....but i cant worry about that...as soon as i hung up...i wanted a drink...cause he just upset me...that that is how much he cares about his twin...he was like...it is just county...he is just hard...the other one is not like that at all...he has feelings and i just worry about him being in jail...but i need to just stay sober and put it in Gods hands...He knows...in my heart...i really mean it...i want to quit drinking...

[berly429]

New Here

thank you happy...you know...i dont blame him at all...i know he didnt really mean it...he doesnt even remember it...i know he has alot of resentment (not hate) built up...and i hope that we can work on this together...he has seen alot in his life...and it is gonna take some time...but first...he needs to see it for himself...that i am dead serious about this drinking problem...and that i truly mean business...that my words arent empty...this time...keep us in your prayers...