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    I am your disease...

    You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend. Wishes of misery and heartache I send. I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees... I’m the devil inside you, I am your disease.

    I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage your soul. I’ll become your new master, in total control. I’ll maim your emotions, I’ll run the whole game. Till your entire existence is crippled with shame.

    When you call me I come, sometimes in disguise. Quite often I’ll take you by total surprise. But take you I will, and just as you’ve feared. I’ll want only to hurt you, with no mercy spared. If you have your own family, I'll see its destroyed. I’ll steal every pleasure in life you’ve enjoyed. I’ll not only hurt you, I’ll kill if I please. I’m your worst living nightmare, I am your disease.

    I bring self destruction, but still you can’t tell. I’ll sweep you through heaven, then drop you in hell. I’ll chase you forever, wherever you go. And then when I catch you, you won’t even know. I’ll sometimes lay silent, just waiting to strike. What’s yours becomes mine, cuz I take what I like. I’ll take all you own and I won’t care who sees. I’m your constant companion… I am your disease.

    If you have any honour, I’ll strip it away. You’ll lose all your hope and forget how to pray. I’ll leave you in darkness, while blindly you stare. I’ll reduce you to nothing, and won’t even care. So, don’t take for granted my powers sublime. I’ll bend and I’ll break you, time after time. I’ll crumble your world with the greatest of ease, I’m that madman inside you…I am your disease.

    But today I’m real angry…you want to know why?I let all in recovery, entirely slip by. How did I lose you? Where did I go wrong? One minute I had you…then next you were gone. You just can’t dismiss all the good times we’ve shared. When you were alone…wasn’t it I who appeared? When you sold those possessions you knew you would need. Wasn’t I the first one who stepped in and agreed. Now look at you bastards, you’re all thinking clear. You escaped with your lives when you found your way here. Only fools think they’re winners when admitting defeat. It’s what you must say when you’re claiming that seat.

    Go ahead and surrender, if that’s what you choose. But, I’m not giving up. cuz I can’t stand to lose. So stand in your groups and support hand in hand. Better choices will save you…leaving me to be damned. Well, be damned all you people seeking treatment each week. Be damned inner strength, however unique. Be damned all your sayings, be damned your cliches. Be damned every addict, who back to me strays.

    For I know it will happen, I’ve seen it before. Those who love misery will crawl back for more. So take comfort in knowing, I’m waiting right here. But next time around, you’d just better beware.

    You think that you’re stronger or smarter this time. There isn’t a mountain or hill you can’t climb. Well if that’s what you’re thinkin, you ain’t learned a thing. I’ll still knock you silly if you step back in my ring.

    But you say you’ve surrendered, so what can I do?It’s so sad in a way, I had big plans for you. Creating your nightmare for me was a dream. I’m sure gonna miss you…we made quite a team. So please don’t forget me, I won’t forget you. I’ll stand by your side watching all that you do. I’m ready and waiting, so call if you please. I won’t let you forget me…I am your disease


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

    #2
    Hi Mario....so good to see you post.

    I have been back on MWO a few weeks and it is great to see another familiar person from my past.

    Thanks for the post....It resonates with me

    Comment


      #3
      I remember this Mario. Thank you so much for posting it again xx

      Comment


        #4
        Yep I remember this too, sometimes I forget all too easily. Thanks Mario.
        Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

        Comment


          #5
          A great post Mario, exactly what i needed to read.
          AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

          Comment


            #6
            Mario! Great to see you and your wisdom popping up. My signature line refers to the list that gave me what I needed when I needed it. You posted it, I will always be grateful.
            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

            Comment


              #7
              Thanks.
              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

              Comment


                #8
                Sooo true about this demons inside us. I remember your story was the very first story I read in 2012 when I first visited Mwo... truly inspired me.
                Its for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and DO NOT let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by mario View Post
                  You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend. Wishes of misery and heartache I send. I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees... I’m the devil inside you, I am your disease.

                  I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage your soul. I’ll become your new master, in total control. I’ll maim your emotions, I’ll run the whole game. Till your entire existence is crippled with shame.

                  When you call me I come, sometimes in disguise. Quite often I’ll take you by total surprise. But take you I will, and just as you’ve feared. I’ll want only to hurt you, with no mercy spared. If you have your own family, I'll see its destroyed. I’ll steal every pleasure in life you’ve enjoyed. I’ll not only hurt you, I’ll kill if I please. I’m your worst living nightmare, I am your disease.

                  I bring self destruction, but still you can’t tell. I’ll sweep you through heaven, then drop you in hell. I’ll chase you forever, wherever you go. And then when I catch you, you won’t even know. I’ll sometimes lay silent, just waiting to strike. What’s yours becomes mine, cuz I take what I like. I’ll take all you own and I won’t care who sees. I’m your constant companion… I am your disease.

                  If you have any honour, I’ll strip it away. You’ll lose all your hope and forget how to pray. I’ll leave you in darkness, while blindly you stare. I’ll reduce you to nothing, and won’t even care. So, don’t take for granted my powers sublime. I’ll bend and I’ll break you, time after time. I’ll crumble your world with the greatest of ease, I’m that madman inside you…I am your disease.

                  But today I’m real angry…you want to know why?I let all in recovery, entirely slip by. How did I lose you? Where did I go wrong? One minute I had you…then next you were gone. You just can’t dismiss all the good times we’ve shared. When you were alone…wasn’t it I who appeared? When you sold those possessions you knew you would need. Wasn’t I the first one who stepped in and agreed. Now look at you bastards, you’re all thinking clear. You escaped with your lives when you found your way here. Only fools think they’re winners when admitting defeat. It’s what you must say when you’re claiming that seat.

                  Go ahead and surrender, if that’s what you choose. But, I’m not giving up. cuz I can’t stand to lose. So stand in your groups and support hand in hand. Better choices will save you…leaving me to be damned. Well, be damned all you people seeking treatment each week. Be damned inner strength, however unique. Be damned all your sayings, be damned your cliches. Be damned every addict, who back to me strays.

                  For I know it will happen, I’ve seen it before. Those who love misery will crawl back for more. So take comfort in knowing, I’m waiting right here. But next time around, you’d just better beware.

                  You think that you’re stronger or smarter this time. There isn’t a mountain or hill you can’t climb. Well if that’s what you’re thinkin, you ain’t learned a thing. I’ll still knock you silly if you step back in my ring.

                  But you say you’ve surrendered, so what can I do?It’s so sad in a way, I had big plans for you. Creating your nightmare for me was a dream. I’m sure gonna miss you…we made quite a team. So please don’t forget me, I won’t forget you. I’ll stand by your side watching all that you do. I’m ready and waiting, so call if you please. I won’t let you forget me…I am your disease
                  What a great post! :goodjob::thumbsup:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Thanks Mario and HI!
                    I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                    Live in the Solution....not the problem

                    Comment


                      #11
                      One of the many things I've read on here that's so true, thanks Mario

                      Nice to see some familiar faces

                      Sylv
                      AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        another powerfully written version of 'I am your disease'

                        Bump!

                        'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                        Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                        Comment

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