~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[techie]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning Cafe friends and home owners. A bit overwhelmed this morning re: house and cost. It is next to Pebble Beach. Thanks for the kind and supportive words. The breakfast looks amazing, Cowboy. Another 24 for me. Have a great day folks. Blessings x

[BigAl]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION], beautiful pic. I'm jealous. Ugh, terrible day yesterday. I have a good number of days under my belt. Felt good, dealing with things rationally. My wife could count on me to be there for her throughout this tough time, etc. But I absolutely trashed it all last night. It was no mindful two drink evening. It was a mindless and stupid failure on my part. So now I am going through the vicious cycle of disappointment, feeling like a failure, feeling even more like a failure because I need to be strong and solid for my wife and kids. But here I am, feeling weak and stupid. I also feel like I let my cafe friends down. I know you have all been there and fought the beast. I am envious of how you have such a strong handle on your life and thoughts. I just feel powerless sometimes. Other times I feel like I have it by the neck and and capable of anything. So, trash the last good long run of AF days and start at day 1 again. Damnit.

To add to the stress my MIL had a stroke while visiting her mother on the east coast. Months of recovery will be in order. Certainly makes my wife go to an even worse place in her head. And what do I do? Stupid stuff.

Ugh. I hate it. I really really hate it.

But, enough of the negativity. I need to forget my stupidity and just move forward. I hope everyone has a wonderful AF Sunday. I know I will. [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION] has motivated me to clean off my clubs and head to the driving range. I played some of the best courses you could ever imagine when we lived in South Africa and I miss it. Hopefully something I can use to fill the empty spots. Unfortunately, we have crappy municipal courses in my general area. But oh well.

24 for me please. I need it.

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

I feel for you BigAl. The self loathing is the worst. Plus, the alcohol just acts as a huge depressant for the whole day after, which is no help. You need to forgive yourself and keep your head in the game. Your wife still needs you. You can do this!

Jude, now that you mentioned it, I realize you and I both have stayed put. I love where I live too. It would be hard to leave.

24 more please and thank you.

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Happy Monday everyone! I am expecting my granddaughter to come today for a few days. It will be a much more active household for a few days.

As I said yesterday, I love where I live and do not want to move. But I realize that circumstances change and a time will come that we may have to. It may become impractical for us to remain here. When that day comes we will make the transition, just as you have, Cowboy and QW.

24 more please and thank you.

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another hot and muggy day here! Thank God for air-conditioning!

I'm in for 24 more!

[abcowboy]

5:25am in Alberta, another 24 please, and thanks...

In the last 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of wellness:
[MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION] [MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION] [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION] [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION] [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] abcowboy

Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!

[Rava]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good Monday morning. Big Al, I hope you are feeling better today. The fact that you came right back to the cafe is proof that you want to change. I had to stop counting day 1’s as there were too many. Alcohol is a depressant and it brings us further and further down the rabbit hole. Glad you are back with your friends here. We have to be honest and accountable in order to change. Ginger, I LOVE your view. So beautiful!! Hope everyone has a great day. Another 24 for me please and thank you.

[abcowboy]

You're going through a tough situation [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION], but you already know that drinking won't help. Not sure what you've tried so far to quit and stay quit, but maybe a talk with a councilor or clergy member could help?

Enjoy your time with you granddaughter [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION], precious times for sure for both of you!

I'm really hoping the day comes that I feel like I'm "at home" here, but so far it hasn't felt that way at all. I know it's all in my mind, but I still feel like I'm just visiting, and sooner or later we'll be going home, but there is no home to go back to.

We have crazy high temps forecast for this week, record breaking temps and also probably record breaking consecutive days for those temps! I've got a few customers without a/c and no way to get their problems fixed quickly as all the wholesalers are right out of inventory. Most of the equipment comes up here from manufacturers in the States and until our Prime Minister relaxes the rules on international travel, it's only going to get worse. I'll do what I can do in the meantime as best as I can.

[Quit wining]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another 24 hours please & thank you.

Big Al, glad you’re back with your friends in the Cafe.

What a great view you have Ginger! I’m having a seniors moment and forget if you’ve mentioned the birds and critters in your area. Bet there’s lots.

Cowboy, we moved a lot during my misspent youth in banking and home was where you hung your hat at night. We’ve been in the condo for just over 2 months now and while the improvements we’ve made are making it “ours”, I am missing our last house and our puppy. However, there’s no going back so I’ll make the best of it.

Another scorcher today and for the rest of the week. Time for another early morning walk.

Have a great af Monday everyone!

QW

[Ginger999]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION], anyone of us could have written your post at one time or the other. The import thing to focus on is not the number of days but your commitment to not drink today. You slipped, now brush yourself off and make today AF, which it sounds like that's exactly what you are doing so good on you! Praying your wife's news is good when it comes.

[MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION], next to Pebble Beach? Holy cow! I've only driven through their parking lot. It was all I could afford. Lol

[MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION], have fun with your granddaughter! We leave today with the boys so I'll be out of cell service until we get back Thursday but I won't be drinking! Not around the kids!

Hope we all can beat the heat and stay AF. Nothing feels better than waking up unhung and guilt free! 24 more for all of us.

[BigAl]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good evening cafe friends. It's been an AF Monday for me. Still letting time strip the disappointment feelings away. Been thinking a little bit more about happiness. It's odd in that I feel almost completely unmotivated and there is nothing I can think of that sounds like fun. I know that this goes away over time, and I will start to derive pleasure again from the little things. It's just a hard period of time to make it through.

To be honest [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION], I have sought professional help at times. I never thought that there was an "aha" moment that significantly contributed to meaningful sobriety. I feel like it's all on myself. And maybe that is just the hard truth of the matter.

Anyway, 24 more for me please. Hope everyone had a great day and a wonderful evening. My wife goes in for biopsy #2 tomorrow.

[techie]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Hi [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION], et al. I recommend Happiness Now by Robert Holden, Phd. Great read with a spiritual underpinning. If you get just a bit of what zi got out of it, you’ll be in a much better place. I wish you well and I’m always available to chat, text, send smoke signals, etc. Blessings x

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Cowboy and QW, I'm sorry that where you live doesn't feel like home. I used to live in a beautiful house, but I just never really settled in there. It was too close to the city of Syracuse, and I never felt safe. I now live in a much smaller and modest house in the country , and I never get tired of the views when I drive home from work. It really does feel like I'm coming home.
[MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION], sending prayers your way that you have good news about your wife's biopsy results.

Another 24 please and thank you!

[abcowboy]

5:19am in Alberta, 24 more for me please, and thanks...

In the last 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of wellness:
[MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION] [MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION] [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION] [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION] abcowboy

Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!

[abcowboy]

I don't think I got that "aha" moment with my counsellor either [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION], but she definitely helped me by figuring out the main reasons why I drank, other than being an alcoholic lol. Good luck to your Missus today, fingers crossed and prayers going out to her!

It's not that I'm unhappy here [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION], but I'm not happy about the situation either if that makes any sense. But I will try and make the best of it because the alternative is even worse lol.

Anyway, enough about my living arrangements haha. Bubba and I go in tomorrow for our 2nd jabs, not at all concerned about it. It's rather funny how in the beginning the vaccines first went to the seniors and healthcare workers and those most at risk. Then you got to go in based on age categories, then anyone over 12 could book appointments, and now they have walk-in vaccination sites. We actually got called last week to see if we could come in early as they had extra vaccines and didn't want them to go to waste but Bubba and I were both busy so couldn't arrange it. And I see on Facebook our Mayor put a call out to everyone to get in on a walk-in basis as they have lots of vaccine to go around. Hopefully the "fence-sitters" will take advantage and go down and get vaccinated. I'm not a believer in forced vaccinations, but I do believe things will get back to normal quicker as more and more people get jabbed. Our province opens up almost 100% back to normal on July 1st. We'll hear today or tomorrow about any remaining restrictions but it sounds like it will only affect senior's home centers and hospitals.

Back out today on more a/c trouble calls, and 2 places to go to give quotes on new installs. I can quote all I like but can't do anything until the wholesalers get more inventory in lol.

Edit to say that both momma ducks hatched out their young'uns! Must have been over the weekend as all that was left in the nests were broken empty shells!