~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Let’s none of us here ever give up! We need each other and others need us.

24 more please.

[BigAl]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning Cafe Friends. It was a better day yesterday, and I am going to do all I can to make today better as well. I appreciate the thoughts and positive energy. 24 more for me please and thanks.

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Sorry about your bil's Mom [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION], but at least she didn't suffer.

Sure wish that I could send you some rain techie. This area of the state has undergone the wettest summer in 100 years. Crazy! Praying that the fires stay away from you!

Another 24 please and thank you

[abcowboy]

5:32am in Alberta, another 24 for me please, and thanks...

In the last 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of wellness:
[MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION] [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] [MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION] [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION] [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] abcowboy

Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!

[Rava]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning Cafe. Sorry for your loss QW. I’m glad she lived a full life and didn’t suffer. Techie please stay safe from the fires!!! Thinking of you Big Al. Glad you are feeling better. We can’t beat ourselves up. We are here and working on sobriety together. Beating ourselves up over a slip only leads to depression and shame. Thinking back to daily drinking which was out of control and where I am now is such a huge accomplishment. Yes I have had a few slips but I also stay with this group, dust myself off and know I don't want to go back to my past life. I keep moving forward and really appreciate this group. Another 24 for me please and thank you

[Quit wining]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another 24 hours please & thank you.

We were successful in hiring two ladies to clean our condo. They start next week and the stress that will be relieved is worth every penny it cost. I made Mrs QW promise she won’t spend the day before they come cleaning!

I’m still trying to figure out my new laptop so will spend this morning getting more familiar with it. Wish me luck!

Have a great af Friday everyone!!

QW

[paulywogg]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Have a great AF Friday all!

[techie]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning Cafe friends and clean condo owners. Fires all around us, but luckily nothing threatening enough to evacuate. I need a run but the air quality is still crap. Mrs Techie has cabin fever too. So, I will gratefully accept another twenty four. I wish you all the best day/weekend possible. Blessings x

[Ginger999]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Fires, fires, everywhere out west! Our air quality is crappy too but not as bad as the valley. Happy to be on the knob! But sad for those that aren't and continuing to pray for all the people fighting these fires for us.

Jude, hope you dry out soon! We watch the news and see all the flooding back east. Crazy!

QW, glad you got the housekeepers scheduled. When I worked full time I usually had a house keeper come in once a week. No way I wanted to waste my two free days cleaning! Lol

I haven't had any more sciatic spasms but my leg and foot are still numb and tingling. It's annoying but not painful. Does anyone know if that's normal? I'm seeing my doc on the 7th but just curious what my peeps might know from experience.

BigAl, glad you had a better day yesterday. Hope today is even better.

Waves to all. Had a great AF day yesterday. I'll take another 24!

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

The heat is a problem in our area. We have been above 90 and humid every day this week and it will continue until Wednesday. I'm grateful for the air conditioning!

Wishing all of us another 24 more hours of freedom.

[BigAl]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good evening Cafe Friends. Oddly enough I had a moment today where I felt the self confidence that I have had my entire life. I can't put into words what that fleeting feeling felt like but it felt like home, it felt like me, it felt like my ID. I don't know how or why it flicked through my consciousness but it did and it was astounding. I have not had that combination of feelings and thoughts for years now. It was like going back home. I am going to do all I can to reach back out to my consciousness and pick it up again. I can only thank you all for this fleeting experience of myself as I used to be. You are all astoundingly superb, and those words don't do you justice.


Anyway, sober day today, looking for a sober day tomorrow. I am thinking that maybe my 20+ years of marriage may be coming to a natural end. As much as I love my wife, and two children who are in a vulnerable age for this type of thing, I feel like I saw things with ultra clarity today. But maybe not, maybe I had a flash of stupidity as opposed to clarity. But maybe I am so buried in layers of feelings and self-oppression, and believing that those around me are correct in making my (small?) failings are huge and gigantic failings that i believe my own story and don't see the forest for the trees (yeah, terrible run-on sentence but i am not re-writing it).

Phew..... Let that all spend some time in my head and then drain off, like water off a duck. 20 years is a long time and I love my wife. But, odd things are coalescing in my head, and I am wondering what is best for ME. But maybe ME doesn't get the loudest voice in this situation with family and kids, etc.

Anyway, sober, very much in my own head. Maybe need to be talked off the ledge (or maybe not). None the less I feel solid and am SO MUCH IN APPRECIATION OF THIS GROUP OF FRIENDS. If I could do something other than caps to make my point I would have done so. Thank you all. As I read and re-read your posts I can't thank you enough for your honesty and consideration, and compassion.

Before I do anything I am going to sleep. Something that has eluded me now since my motorcycle wreck. I know I will toss and turn, but it's all I can do.

24 more for me please and thanks. And apologies if I seem like I am jumping all over the place, just felt something odd and familiar this evening and trying to figure out how and why.

[techie]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Oh [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION], I feel you here. I think I know what you are going through, because I had those same experiences. Those unfiltered bouts of clarity. These taps on the shoulder of awareness. I believe it happens when we slowly start peeling back the layers of addiction. That is where we find our true self, our true essence.

I think we hide behind the artificial self that’s built out of the addiction. We become so identified with the altered self. We think that is us. Our addictive personality becomes so common that genuine reactions and innate self-confidence diminish, sometimes almost totally disappearing. Only in the absence of the altering substance does the true self begin to emerge. I remember saying, holy fuck, I remember that guy (me) as tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.

Honestly, and this is exciting BigAl, it was those moments of clarity and that m beautiful sense of self, or the real me that ostensibly kicked my quit into gear. I’m actually getting emotional writing this because it is all coming back into focus. It’s a bumpy ride so and work of excavation is a slow but essential one. While undertaking any change, one small step at a time is the best way to proceed methinks rather than tearing everything apart. (Don’t dump your job and your marriage) simultaneously. Things do get clearer and how we navigate through any change is critical for success.

Sorry for the long message but I had to acknowledge your post. Have a great tomorrow. Talk to your soul. Ask it what it thinks you should do. Try this in quietude. It works. Blessings x

P.S. I hope this makes sense!? Well, I’m off to bed.

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Great post [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION]!
[MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION], I'm so happy that you've seen a glimpse of what life can be like without the booze. Soon, these moments of clarity will become more frequent, allowing the "real you" to emerge! As techie mentioned, don't dump your marriage or your job just yet. You are still in the early stages of healing, and it would be unwise to make any major decisions now. When you discover your true self, you will find yourself in a much better position to evaluate your situation, and act accordingly. Hang on to those glimpses of hope and serenity, for they can help you envision the life that is possible. In the beginning, it helped me quite a bit whenever that beast came whispering in my ear.

More heat, humidity and rain in the forecast, but at least I am "dry!" 24 more please and thank you!

[Rava]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Great post Big Al and Techie. Those moments of clarity are amazing!! Wishing you more and more of those for sure! Hope everyone has a good day. Another 24 for me please and thank you.

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

BigAl, what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing that with us here. It brought back memories to me of some very similar emotions. It's astounding when the realization settles in that maybe , just maybe....the alcohol had a bigger grip than we could understand until there's a little distance. I don't think I had as dramatic a moment as you, but I definitely had a version of it. It was so nice to be reminded of it. I am grateful that you are here with us and have remained in spite of setbacks. :heartbeat:

Now, on a completely unrelated topic: I had a friend tell me that her absolute favorite way to make hard cooked eggs was in her Instapot! I would never have thought to try it, but since she swore it worked I decided I had to see for myself. I just now completed the process and am about to go peel them....

to be cont'd....

24 more please and thank you.