~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[abcowboy]

It's good to have you back with us [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION] even if it's not in the best of circumstances. As the others have said, you've got some tough days ahead of you but staying sober through them will help you get through them. Like [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION], I also went through a divorce but mine was almost 30 years ago. I think my drinking was a part of the reason for my divorce, but that wasn't the only reason. I wish I would have been sober throughout my divorce proceedings, not because it might have saved the marriage, but because the divorce might have been more amicable if I wasn't full of alcohol fueled anger throughout. My best advice, be 100% honest with your kids about everything in the coming weeks and months...

I did get over to Adam's yesterday and we had a great father-son day working together getting the new laundry room roughed in. He can now finish the wall and I'll go back to hook up the laundry tub and help move down the washer and dryer and get them hooked up.

I'd love to come down and do the work for you [MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION] if it were possible, I'd bring my golf clubs as well as my swimming trunks along!

[Quit wining]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another 24 hours please & thank you.

Great to see you Big Al. As difficult as the next while will be, being alcohol free will be a huge help. Great advice from Techie on planning your future. Don’t hesitate to lean on your Cafe friends, we’re here for you.

Our mild weather continues. I barbecued steaks last night and didn’t need to wear a jacket.

Glad you had a great day helping Adam, Cowboy. Thanks for another awesome breakfast,

Have a great af Sunday everyone!

QW

[Ginger999]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Dill, thanks for the details of Hubby's symptoms. So glad he finally admitted he was in trouble so you could seek help!

BigAl, my heart goes out to you and all you're going through. Please stay close and feel free to PM any of us. We are in this together.

Rava, I think our living situation with the daily happy hours going on around us, does not lend well to sobriety. Around here, they start around 330 and go until 5. I hear pods of them all around us at that time of day. I've taken to inserting my earbuds during that time of day and listening to podcasts.

ABC, thanks for the yummy breakfast!

Waves to all my Cafe family! I'll take 24 more.

[BigAl]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning Cafe Friends. Excellent advice all around. I journal like a madman, so it will fit right in to create my ideal look at the future and put it to paper. To be honest, I still hold out hope that there can be reconciliation. I don't know whether to label this as determination or naivete. I have found that I am one who needs to have a little bit of hope to keep myself mentally healthy. Right now it is hard to derive that thread of hope from my image of a future that has been cleaved apart. I also know that this image will change over time. In any case, all I can do, all I have control over right now, is to stay sober. So that is what I am going to do.

I very humbly appeal for another 24 hours of sobriety, and any grace the universe is willing to bestow upon my sense of loss and sadness.

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Thanks for the breakfast, Cowboy. It was really good!

Things have settled down around here, thankfully. The last few days have reminded me just how precious life is and how quickly things can change.

Gratefully accepting another 24.

[techie]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning Cafe friends and Cowboy breakfast over eaters m. Thanks Cowboy. So, I am standing outside a Best Buy yesterday afternoon. I had my wife’s data transferred to a new laptop. This guy chats me up, then says, “you want a cigarette?” I say, no thanks. he says, “they’re gluten free!” I almost wet my pants laughing.

You sound good [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION]. Remember, you are the only one in control of your life. Drive safely. I’m always available for a chat. This group is your support line. Use it. With that, I gratefully accept another 24. I with you all the best day possible. Blessings x

Repost as I love this one!!!

[Rava]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Hi Cafe friends. Big Al, so glad you are back. The road ahead will not be an easy one but you will come out so much stronger for it. We are all routing for you!! . My struggle exists from lack of structure in my life. Drinking will not help me at all. I know that but my beast brain keeps picking at me. I know better and since there is no alcohol in this house the only way I can drink is to literally drive to the store. Im trying not to do that at this point. When I worked full time I had a reason to be sober and accountable in the morning. Now I don’t have that. I have to do it for myself and only myself. I am hoping that someday these incessant thoughts will be gone and I will return to just being a normal person that doesn’t obsess about drinking. So until that times comes I will continue to work hard at sobriety and hope for the best. No drinking for me today. Another 24 please and thank you!

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning cafe!

With gratitude I'm looking forward to another 24 hours!

[Rava]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning. Up early and heading to the dentist. Wishing everyone a sober and good day. Another 24 for me please and thank you.

[BigAl]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good morning Cafe Friends. [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION], the quote you posted yesterday sums up my approach at this point. From a sobriety standpoint I feel solid. Maybe it is this extraneous fog of circumstances that is giving me determination (I guess one could read that as a rock bottom driving behavior change). I realize that there is a part of me that needs to soften and grow, and that is my somewhat odd flavor of spirituality. It needs polished up and fed. Work begins again today, and of course I have a meeting with my divorce lawyer (I don't even like thinking it, let alone typing it out; it feels so final and immutable).

One silver lining. I spoke to my boss the day before I re-entered treatment and told him that I was going to disappear for another couple of weeks (again). He was silent for a bit and said "Can I ask what is really going on?". So I told him the truth. He told me that he thought that might be the case and disclosed that he is 30 years sober himself and had tread a similar path in his younger days. This give me some solace and some hope. It also gives me a little bit of advocacy and protection at work from those that would see addiction as a moral failing instead of the disease that it is. It's the little things that I have to hold on to right now.

With that, I again ask for another 24, and wish all on this thread serenity, fulfillment, and a wonderful Monday.

[BigAl]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION], I completely understand the lack of structure contributing to our struggle. To be honest, it was complacency that led me to a deconstruction of the structure that I left rehab with the first time. I am determined to keep my structure intact this go around. It may be embarrassing to me (but I'm far past the point of being embarrassed by anything at this point), but I make my bed, do push ups, do sit ups, I journal for 20 minutes in the morning, and then I balance my chakras with fervor. I do it every single morning now (and that is just my morning routine). Yoga in the afternoon, another 20 minutes of reflection in my journal, another round of pushups and situps, and although not talked about much in this forum, I have not missed a meeting in 25 days (not advocating, but for me it is necessary, at least at this point).

My thoughts are with you Rava

[abcowboy]

5:27am in Alberta, another 24 please, and thanks...

In the last 24 hours, these friends have signed in for 24 hours of wellness:
[MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION] [MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION] [MENTION=24510]BigAl[/MENTION] [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION] [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] abcowboy

Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!

[abcowboy]

I think structure or routine is very important for recovery, especially during the times that we would normally do our drinking, which for me was most any time of the day. I had to fill my days (and evenings) with things to do to keep my mind off drinking. Without that routine there is no doubt in my mind that I would have never been successful. I suppose I was lucky in that I never went through any physical withdrawal, but the mental withdrawal was every bit as challenging. I did the "play it forward" routine many times that first year, and I'm sure the Good Lord got tired of hearing me say the Our Father and Serenity Prayer lol.

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

BigAl, I am so very pleased to hear that you are attending meetings in the real world! I don't know why you would hesitate to mention it. I would attend meetings if there were any in my vicinity. My son attended meetings and they were very helpful to his recovery. He stopped going tho and now is working with a counselor once monthly. He is divorced and addiction played a large part in the disintegration of his marriage. Both he and his spouse were addicted to drugs/alcohol. They were going to lose custody of their kids if they didn't get sober. He did, she didn't. He really didn't want to divorce, but in his case it was the only way he could get sober. Now he is sober and doing great and his kids are in his custody. He has risen from the ashes, and you will too. That is so phenomenal that your boss shared with you and that you now have an advocate!

Jude, I got the book quicker than I thought I would and am truly enjoying it!

Rava, you sound so much like me. :heartbeat:

Gratefully accepting another 24.

[Quit wining]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another 24 hours please & thank you.

Big Al, sounds like you’re doing everything right to get to where you want/need to be. Nice to have a sympathetic boss, one who understands what you’re dealing with.
I’ve posted this before, likely before you joined us in the Cafe. The 10 most important two letter words in the English language - If it is to be, it is up to me.
Stay strong my friend.

Rava, structure has been important to me. I start my day with a 3km walk (nothing compared to what Techie and Big Al accomplish with their routines, but good for an old guy like me) and that just sets me up for the rest of the day. I also make time for reading and I find myself checking in here a few times each day.
Several years ago, a former neighbour introduced me to a couple he was friends with. We dropped into their house at 10am on a Saturday. They were sitting at their kitchen table on which sat the biggest ashtray I had ever seen, it was about 1/3 full. They had a fridge that held 7 cases of beer, each case being 24 cans. They spent their days drinking about 3 cases of beer and filling the ashtray a couple of times. I was shocked that people could live that way and swore I would never let myself get to that point.

Hope the dentist visit went well Rava. I prefer early morning appointments. I have a wicked gag reflex so I don’t eat anything before seeing the dentist. On my first visit to this dentist many years ago, I explained that I’m a big wuss with a wicked gag reflex but I don’t bite. I once had an opportunity to see my chart and there were my words!

Have a great af Monday everyone!

QW