~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION], We haven't seen Wildflowers in several weeks. Not since she posted that her HB had a heart attack. I keep hoping for her return. Also missing Catch22 and ssd858!

24 more, please.:happy2:

[Mr Vervill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Rain and cold this morning. Gotta work an overnight shift tonight, 11pm-6am, so I might not check in tomorrow.
I'll take 24 more please.

[paulywogg]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

5:08 am in Vegas,I'll happily take another 24 please thank you

[Mr Vervill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good to see you Pauly, Glad Kell and baby are fine.

[abcowboy]

6:40am in Alberta, another 24 for me please, and thanks..

In the past 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of sobriety:
[MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] [MENTION=17632]Mr Vervill[/MENTION] [MENTION=20895]Orimus[/MENTION] [MENTION=23850]empyr3al[/MENTION] [MENTION=20527]Marylou123[/MENTION] [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] abcowboy

[abcowboy]

It has been a bit quiet in here, but that happens in all the threads from time to time. That's just the way it is and we can only hope that those who leave are doing okay. I sent a message to Wildflowers but never heard back, not sure how things are going with her hubs. I'm sure C22 and SSD will be back when they need to talk.

Pauly, I'm really happy to hear that Kelly and the baby are okay! But I know you're not. I know you've had a really tough year, one that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but you need to find a way to cope with life other than drinking. We all hope that next year is a much better one for you, but what if it's not? Do you want to spend another year of slipping and regretting? We're all here for you, use us!

Neo, you don't talk a lot about your slips but you also have to find ways to deal with the situations that make you drink. What are the triggers, and what you can do differently...

I know I can get to sounding preachy, but I wish I had the magic answer, I don't, so I preach. I'm not going to tell you that I never have thoughts of drinking because I do, even after almost 3 years of sobriety. Life is always going to throw something at us that wakes up the AV, but we all need to have the tools and experience to put the AV back to sleep.....

[Neo]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Neo, you don't talk a lot about your slips but you also have to find ways to deal with the situations that make you drink. What are the triggers, and what you can do differently...

Well fortunately I have a life coach mentor Im working with. I am very worried with my sisters arrogance on spending money, always wants to borrow off mum but never wants to provide financials and I don’t like her business partner if you could call him that. This starts mum getting on my case. I tell my mum I’m not the tooth fairy and only want to keep mum out of financial trouble. It has stopped me doing property subdivisions and am worried about a cash grab. My life coach said if you can’t have a dialogue with my sister, then it is best Imspeak with my accountant lawyer about this. I. Looking at setting up a discretionary trust where my sister gets drip fed money instead of getting half. I think that is my only option. I have a great chance of pulling well over 2-500k with the right deal this financial year so am working that out

[Orimus]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

“This need to be right has put a huge burden on me, one that I never deserved to have to carry. Part of it, I know, is cultural--in this age of information at a moment's notice, we've come to expect people to have answers--the right answers--at the drop of a hat. I feel very fortunate that over the last decade or so I've been able to leave the need to be right behind me and move on with my life with a more healthy perspective. I'm now willing not just to admit that I'm wrong, but also to stick my neck out with ideas or thoughts that may be wrong. The possibility of being wrong no longer threatens my emotional well-being; if I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I learn from that.”
― Tom Walsh

9:55 on a dimly lit Wednesday morning. Tired as hell but at least I get to work from home today. Committing to another 24!

[empyr3al]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Early 24 more as I usually post at midnight.

Today I'm going to mention relapse dreams. I had one last night. Believe it or not it was about buying vodka and someone wanting to split a bottle with me and I suggested they get their own little flask type as I would drink the whole thing. Weird, because its true. I would feel animosity sharing my vodka, which is something that changed over the evolution of my alcoholism. Where as a decade ago, I would just share everything. Somehow it turned into hording when it turned into full blown alcohol dependency. Anyways the dream turned into some demons from 20 years ago about staying at a sketchy friends house (drug house kinda squatter thing) and then doing my daily thing and then talking to my father and him saying some guys showed up demanding all my records and players and all my electronics. Goes to show I do remember in my dreams what has happened decades ago. And more recently the vodka buying incident.

Now to mention it, I'm not phased by them anymore to the degree I was in the past. So I woke up made my chai tea, had my yogurt and just pondered the gratefulness that I'm no longer involved in that lifestyle or with those types of people.

Now some of them are still on my FB but have changed their lives as well, but I am always 1 or 2 steps of separation from these people for the rest of my life. Actually the really bad ones can't afford internet as they choose drugs over computers (but do own phones) or don't know tech so at least the bottom edge of risky people is avoided. Only time I would be in contact with them would be at a detox shelter meeting which I avoid for that reason. Now this begets the question of Step 12. When you feel you can help people and are qualified. The thing about many of these people is that they are only at the detox to wash out, eat some food and go out and do it all over again when the cheques come in. Its more like the detox is for those that binge on their social assistance cheque and then when they have no option they go to the detox and bang its done again. Why I never detox there and why I don't go there. That and its AA or no way at the detox. Total crap and the failure rate is abysmal.

[Inthesky]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Please put me in for 24 hours!

[lifechange]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

I'm here for 24 af hours!

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

I had an unexpectedly busy day yesterday with almost no time to myself, hence no time for MWO. I'm grateful I did have 24 sober hours tho. I have been having bad dreams too the last couple of nights. One was so bad I'm even afraid to speak about it. The other was a drinking dream. Bought a bottle of mateus wine (something I haven't done in over 40 years now) and hid it. Then had to keep moving its hiding place, then had to find a time I could drink it undetected, then drank some and worried I'd be detected so I stopped at one, then experienced that frustration of stopping at one, then worried what I was going to do because there wasn't enough in the bottle to satisfy a wino like me, then....., well the dream excruciatingly continues but I'm happy to say I eventually woke up and was pleased to be sober!!!

So, I'm glad to be here in the cafe, with a good appetite and ready for the day! I'm happy to be with other people who I know are sharing the same journey. Committing to 24.

On the medical front I would llike to mention that my BP is down too, and also, I am off my reflux medication.

[Neo]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Quick check in. Atm BP 10 abovenlow and let’s aim for 24

[Orimus]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

“On being conscious of being a writer: As soon as one is aware of being “somebody,” to be watched and listened to with extra interest, input ceases, and the performer goes blind and deaf in his over-animation. [...] Most of the best fiction is written out of early impressions, taken in before the writer became conscious of himself as a writer. The best seeing is done by the hunted and the hunter, the vulnerable and the hungry; the “successful” writer acquires a film over his eyes. His eyes get fat. Self-importance is a thickened, occluding form of self-consciousness. The binge, the fling, the trip – all attempt to shake the film and get back under the dinning-room table, with a child’s beautifully clear eyes.”
― John Updike, Self-Consciousness

Just after 8 here in Jersey and it looks to be the start of a dark one today. Morning showers. I used to have this thought that when it rains the the heavens were crying on my behalf, so I didn't have to. Lately I've been thinking be like the earth. It embraces the rain, absorbs it and thus the grasses grow, the rivers flow and the winds blow. For into every life a little rain will fall.

Committing to another 24 and welcome [MENTION=22695]Inthesky[/MENTION]!

[paulywogg]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

5:22 am in Vegas another 24 please