~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[abcowboy]

6:40am in Alberta, another 24 please, and thanks...

In the past 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of sobriety:
[MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] [MENTION=17632]Mr Vervill[/MENTION] [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION] [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] abcowboy

Nope, you're not dense Jude, lots of acronyms used around here lol. Guilt, Shame, Remorse (or Regret)

[Mr Vervill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Wishing everyone a great day on this winter solstice.
Some great thoughts published the last 24 hours, wow, a lot to think about.
Glad you are learning new ways of seeing things, LC and Cowboy. The rest of us are learning as well.
Love the analogy of the plane being "off course" 90 percent of the time. Yes, whatever adjustments are necessary to get us to our destination.
To paraphrase Meriwether Lewis; We were never lost, but there were times, perhaps months at a time, that we did not know exactly where we were.
24 more please.

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Sooooo, guess IÂ’ll pick up where I left off this morningÂ…..

I read that quote Jude, and my mind took off….funny how one sentence can lead from thought to thought. I should have just shut my brain down, but I figured it was good therapy for me to let my thoughts wander. When I read that quote, another quote popped into my head; “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”, and when that entered my mind, so did my ex-wife! Let me explain…

My best friend when I was growing up (also a drinking buddy, my bestman at my wedding, and me at his) had this painting. It was a three horse hitch, heads lowered, forging ahead through a blinding blizzard. The caption underneath said, when the going gets tough, the tough get going! When my ex and I built our new house, in the middle of it was the family room, or rum room as I called it lol. The feature wall had a large wood burning fireplace flanked on each side with the entertainment pieces. I knew the exact picture that I wanted to hang above the mantel, so my search was on. It took me months, but I finally found a poster of that exact painting. It ended up being quite expensive with framing and matting costs, but it was perfect for the room. My ex never gave it to me when we divorced, I didnÂ’t get many of my things at all, and the kids said she sold most everything at a garage sale.

At the time, I was very upset with her, her greed, and as the years went by I used her as an excuse to get drunk. Every time I thought of her, IÂ’d drink. After getting sober, I realized I was getting mad over nothing. Just like my drinking, she was just a part of my past, thoughts that I didnÂ’t need to carry into the future. And it was time that I lived up to the caption in that picture.

So Jude, it’s amazing how one sentence can make a difference. That one sentence flooded my mind with thoughts, and I went to work feeling at peace. That’s what the Club and Café is all about……

And no, IÂ’ve never been able to find that picture or poster again. But I wonÂ’t give up lookingÂ….

I'm going to start looking for that poster too! If I find it I'll let you know. Thank you for sharing that memory here. I couldn't help but wonder if your drinking factored in to the divorce, or if your divorce was what initiated your drinking to the problem level? I don't suppose it's polite of me to ask, so if you don't want to reply to that, I will understand.

I've been having lots of momentary memories lately related to my drinking. Memories that I wish I didn't carry. Yesterday I got a Christmas card from an old friend from my work. I haven't seen her in a couple of years and she suggested we get together sometime soon. I will be happy to do that sometime early in the new year. But a memory jogged loose of being at a party at her house. I think I had a pre-party drink (anyone here know what I mean? Of course you do!) and was hoping that I could get thru the party then without hitting the cooler full of wine coolers and beer. I didn't bring anything to drink with me to the party even tho it was a BYOB, bc I thought I would not drink while there because there were so many folks from work and I wanted to be careful. Well, the plan backfired. The pre party drink just kicked in the desire for more, more, more, so I thought, well what's the harm? There's plenty in the cooler, I just have one....well, of course it turned out to be much more than one and I felt so badly about it that the following Monday I brought a 6 pack of the beverage I had bee hitting so hard to my work place and gave it to her. I told her I felt it was the least I could do because I had drank so many. How embarrassing! She told me that was not necessary of course, but I insisted. I was so embarrassed by my behavior and lack of self control! But she took it in stride and never made me feel badly about any of it. I don't remember how many drinks I had but I think probably 4 or so. It wasn't outrageous and I wasn't sloppy drunk. I am pretty sure of that bc Mr. D was with me and he would have cut me off if I were noticeably tipsy. It's just that they weren't mine! It was BYOB! Well, I know that's not an outrageous story, but it's just one of many small things over the years that I am not proud of, if you know what I mean. I have much worse stories than that. The point is, it was a bad memory for me and I wish I could forget it and many others!

[Quit wining]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another 24 hours please & thank you!

My daughter in law asked if I would pick up wine to bring to their house which is Christmas central for our family. I haven’t set foot inside a liquor store in almost 6 months! I’m not worried about being tempted but I may check in with the Nest a few more times tomorrow, just in case!

QW

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Cowboy....thanks for filling me in on GSR. I have certainly felt all of those things at one time or another.

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger — something better, pushing right back.– Albert Camus

Good morning all...

As I was searching for a quote to post this morning, I came across this one and it kinda stuck in my head. With Christmas coming, I know that the temptation to drink at all of those parties and dinners will be a challenge for many of us. Think of your sobriety as the most important gift that you can give yourself; the presents, wrappings and bows are all temporary, (hopefully, so are the relatives) as are the urges to drink. Protect your quit with all of the strength that you can muster, and you will be rewarded with the gift of a lifetime.

6:20 am and the snow is falling gently.....another 24 please!

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Good quote, yet again [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION]! It got me to thinking once again about attitude. It seems the very premise of the quote is that it is "me against the world" and I realized I do not share that particular world view. I don't get up everyday thinking the world is out to get me. Of course things do happen that tend to tear away at my core, and I am grateful for the 'invincible summer within'. Definitely need to nurture that inner reserve!

24 more please.

[Orimus]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

A chilly 34 F on this gray Friday morning here in Jersey, 8:18 am. So did not feel like getting out of bed this morning but there's the starting bell so here we go. :thumbsup: Committing to another 24!

Something that brings a smile to my face, hope it brings one to yours too. :congratulatory:

[abcowboy]

6:35am in Alberta, I'll have 24 more please, and thanks...

In the past 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of sobriety:
[MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=20895]Orimus[/MENTION] [MENTION=17632]Mr Vervill[/MENTION] [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION] abcowboy

[empyr3al]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Hey all,

I just wanted to pop in and say Merry Christmas to all. Winters I tend to manage better than other seasons and so far my blood tests have come back all in spec... Merry Christmas to me! Behaving better and culling some medications seems to be doing the trick

Wishing everyone of you the safest and sober Christmas.

[Mr Vervill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Had a big laugh with that clip this morning, Ori, watched it a couple of times, lol.
Also great reading on the self-talk yesterday, I am learning to turn it down or around.
Boatloads of rain coming the next two days here, followed by possible snow Christmas eve. So grateful I got the gutters cleaned on the house.
24 more of the invincible summer shining through!

[abcowboy]

A couple of maintenance items first... I decided I'm going to change how I post... I always do my 24 hour commitment first, then roll call, then chat a bit. Then it seems I have to go back a couple of times to change my check-in time because I got to chatting too much lol. So I'm just going to check-in, do roll call, then start a new post for chatting so I can be as long winded as I want! Next, please remember to watch your PM count. I tried to PM [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] this morning but her pm box is full. I guess I'll have to text her to check up on her...

It's probably a little of both Dill, I drank heavily during my first marriage, but it got really out of control after the divorce! I used alcohol to convince myself that the break-up was all her fault. I know now that's not the case, I was equally, if not more, to blame for letting our relationship fall apart. The drinking certainly didn't help.

As I've said before, since getting sober, I've got nothing left to hide. So any of you can ask me whatever you want! Talking about things is good therapy!

Two great posts this morning Jude and Ori!

[Quit wining]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another 24 hours please& thank you!

I’m spending this morning helping my grandson celebrate his 5th birthday. He’s a great little man!!

QW

[lifechange]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Quick fly-by at 10:25 this morning!
I'll be back to read more thoroughly later.. did open up to the Camus quote.. thanks for that Jude. Perfect!
24 more hours for all of us!

[empyr3al]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION]. Interesting. My divorce initially led to a length of sobriety but then eventually to a massive relapse and complete erosion of my confidence and identity. Working hard on reestablishing myself after the concussive blow. Evidence of the progression and settling down I see in my blood work. Even minor lapses by comparison are no longer lasting to full blown health destroying Crux's. My last lapse was about 2 months ago after a bad antidepressant... for 3-4 days and thankfully came out on top.

Getting into some topics that might upset some people. For me, I'm not sure if AA qualifies as therapy. I've done the AA route and it left me really pissed off at people for empty cliches and bullshit evasiveness that people hide behind. I'm quite a bit more psychologically in-depth about alcoholism and depression that it became fake to me. If you cannot describe yourself without reverting to slogans then my attitude has been "piss off and get real". SMART Meetings and actual real therapists that have qualified degrees have been more effective for me. I have seen people I know from AA meetings grow exponentially in SMART meetings because there is no status quo. I am not against AA as it works for many and may celebrate Christmas at a meeting. In a world full of cognitive and dialectic behavioral therapy and medical science there is more too it. As frontline defence for society AA brings negatives and some positives to newly sober people. I could debate if it leaves more damage than good to the newly sober and atleast something exists. I think I have influenced my doctor not to suggest AA first and use the social programs we have in place first. SMART is expanding quite a bit as millenials are taking in new approaches. As society changes so do our programs. Some of the statements I've heard and seen about SMART are that it's free therapy. That people for all areas of religion and race have the same issues. In multicultural Canada it's a stunning revolution that skews biases and makes people feel accepted.

Anyways I will still do an AA Meeting here and there. Closed discussion are my favorites, CD's seem to be more real and breach the status quo AA indoctrination. What is lacking in them is actual discussion about real ways to stall things outside the realm of alcoholism such as long lasting depression. The cross talk rule has destroyed input from others that has merit.

Pre Christmas rant done. Thanks for AA existing and thanks to new approaches like SMART, CBT and DBT. Remember there are things to deal with other than not drinking that need solutions. Not drinking does not seem to solve all the problems that led the drinking in the first place. So in the new year get out of a rigid mold and see mental health as a pervasive issue that encompasses alcoholism... It's not simply done by putting down a drink.

SMART Recovery - Wikipedia, look for one around you. Help start one!