~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[Rava]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Another 24 for me please. Thanks for the quote LC.

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Thanks for the quote, LC. It's hard not to be self critical but I agree that focusing on the good in others is very helpful. It also gives a model to aim for. Thing is, I actually think it is important to identify the negative points we have in ourselves and perhaps even analyze them as long as we don't dwell on them or beat yourself up about them. It's necessary for growth and change, don't you think? Anyway, interesting quote and thought for today. Thank you!:love:

Yesterday I wrote my post but before I finished and clicked 'post quick reply', our first guests arrived. I didn't get back to the computer until after they left which was 5 hours later! LOL We had a really good time. All of us are older now and entering the winter of our years. Some of our guests were older than I by quite a bit and several are dealing with serious health matters but it was great to be able to set that aside and enjoy our time together. It was definitely a 'seize the day' feeling.
Family is family and you don't get to choose, as you all know. There was this one moment yesterday when I was having a conversation with my SIL. Well, trying to.... I was trying to tell her something important to me about one of my nephews but I just got out the very beginning of the story when she grabbled on to the main point and then began relating a story about someone she knew 50 years ago that the same thing had happened to and she prattled on and on and on about that person (long dead now) and I never got to finish my story. Well, it's always been that way with her so I just let her go on. But my mind drifted off as she was talking, to how in the old days I coped with those irritating interactions with a tall glass of wine. I pondered how I used to 'need' it to get thru family gatherings and at that moment, honestly, for a split second, I missed it. But of course the moment passed and, I was glad to miss it and was glad it wasn't there. It reminded me of a poem I love that is about being thankful for the things we miss.

Another 24 all around for the café, please and thank you.

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Thanks for the week of quotes LC! Another 24please and thank you!

[abcowboy]

6:25am in Alberta, another 24 please, and thanks...

In the past 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of sobriety:
[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] [MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION] [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION] abcowboy

Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!

[abcowboy]

Will start this off by saying that I haven’t contributed much this week, have thought of things to say most days, but couldn’t seem to get my thoughts to make any sense. But going to give it a shot this morning…

Thanks for the great quotes this week [MENTION=15430]lifechange[/MENTION]!

""It's not enough to talk to plants, you also have to listen.""~David Bergman

""It is healthier to see the good points of others than to analyze our own "bad" ones."" Francoise Sagan

These two quotes go hand in hand in my opinion, and really define to me what MWO is all about for me. I try to “listen” to what others say here, and also to what they aren’t saying. Sometimes it’s not about what they say, but how they say it that sends up alerts to me. Try to read between the lines to see if somewhere in the discussion there is a cry for help. We as humans, and alcoholics, don’t like to admit it when we need help and that is a huge stumbling block on our sobriety journey. It took me a long time to understand that I wasn't less of a person because I needed help, and now I have no problem reaching out for help when I need it…

I seldom think about what my bad points are anymore, I feel as though I’ve done about as much as I can do for myself, I’m happy with who I am and where I’m at now. But I do look at others to see if they have something that I’m missing. And maybe something they have isn’t as good for me as it is for them, but I’ll never be a better person if I quit looking at things that might improve me, even if it’s just a tiny bit. We’re never too old for some self-improvement…

Funny you mentioned breakfast [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION], here it is Saturday already! When we deal with life one day at a time, those days go by so fast it seems. And coming here everyday reminds me that I do have to take it one day at a time, and probably will for the rest of my life, but I’m okay with that if that’s what I need to stay sober…

When I read your post [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION], it reminded me of me. When I was drinking, I always butted in on the conversation to get my two cents in. Now, I can sit and just listen, or not listen, depending on the conversation. I’d love to read that poem you were thinking about!

I’d better mosey along for now, there are a few other threads that I’d like to make some comments on and I’ll probably be here on and off all day…

[Ginger999]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Thanks for the quotes, LC. Dill, I'd love to read that poem too. I hope everyone has a restful AF weekend. I'll have another 24, please and thank you!

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION] I found the poem online here:

Thomas Wentworth Higginson (1823-1911). The Things I miss. George Willis Cooke, comp. 1903. The Poets of Transcendentalism: An Anthology

I read an essay about it years ago written by a man who was grieving the loss of his father who had recently passed away. The essay kind of took you thru his journey of grief and thru that journey the poem kept haunting him until he finally came to find peace and acceptance and realized after all the pain and sadness if finally dawned on him that he was grateful to have had his father and that gratitude was what helped him thru to the other side of his grief. He was deeply grateful that he had had such a good father even if it lead him to such sadness at the loss. Anyway, thru the years I have often thought about it and all the ways that you can be grateful not only for things that you have, but for things that you don't have... not having that drink in that moment that my SIL was prattling on was something that I was very grateful for.

I know what you mean about having a hard time expressing thoughts in writing. That happens to me, too. In fact I don't think I did a good enough job in this post, but I did my best. :happy2:

[paulywogg]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

4:53 pm in Vegas,another 24 please

[Jude58]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Loved the poem dill...thank you!

I'll take another 24 please and thank you!

[abcowboy]

“Being afraid doesn’t mean you don’t face things. Just means you push the fear down and do what you have to do.” – George Mackey

6:25am in Alberta, 24 for me and everyone else who needs them please, and thanks...

In the past 24 hours, these people have signed in for 24 hours of sobriety:
[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION] [MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION] [MENTION=20929]Ginger999[/MENTION] [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] abcowboy

Today is going to be a darn good day not to drink!

[abcowboy]

A couple of inches of snow to shovel this morning, but it can wait till after breakfast...

Loved the poem [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION], glad you were able to find and share it!

[Ginger999]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

Happy af Sunday everyone! Thanks for the poem [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION]. Yummy breakfast, [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION]. Lazy Sunday around here. I'll have another 24, please and thank you!

[dill]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

You outdid yourself [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION]! I'm so full I can barely move! Thanks also for the good quote. It's important not to let fear rule you.

24 more please and thank you.

[Ginger999]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

So… I’ve been struggling. Not with NOT drinking but losing my 1,611 days of sobriety when I mindfully decided to drink on October 1, 2018. Those days were all mine and I was so proud that I’d accumulated them, only to let them go. And for what? The same old crap! My little experiment ended just as we knew it would! Hang overs, self-loathing, etc. I’ve been stuck in that failure mindset, which is so negative and self-defeating and can ultimately lead to another slip.

I did the 30 Day Alcohol Experiment with Annie Grace (Thanks [MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION]) and I learned so much about the chemistry of our brain and addiction. Today I listened to her YouTube episode 111 with Dr. Adi Jaffe and I totally came away feeling uplifted and positive about my slip (experiment). It moved that experience from a negative failure to a learning experience about who I am and why I chose to drink. It also reinforced that my slip didn’t take all the positive 1,611 days away, it only changed the overall number. They are very big on that because if we paint the slip with a negative brush then our brains have a tendency to say, “what the hell, may as well keep drinking”.

So I did the math….. Today I have 92% sobriety out of 4 years, 9 months and 13 days. Wow! Look at that will you! For 40 years I had 0% sobriety. This percent is like turning an "F" into an “A”! Looking at our sobriety like this is way more likely to keep us going strong in our AF journey than beating ourselves up over lost days. I feel better Hope everyone is having an easy Sunday where ever you are.

[paulywogg]

Re: ~cattleman cafe~ & another 24...

2:18 pm in Vegas,another 24 please