Army Ring in the New Year!!

[NoSugar]

Your absence from here made me (and I think others) worry you were struggling. That is when we need one another most.

[starty]

You can end it here. A mistake is disappointing for you but not a life sentence. There's always hope.

Yes I will. ....again. Not exactly a poster child for the sober and clean life. Not even maudlin really, just wondering why it is so hard this time

[starty]

Your absence from here made me (and I think others) worry you were struggling. That is when we need one another most.

I know. When heading for a relapse I think we tend to avoid the voice of reason though. So that we can more easily justify our actions

[NoSugar]

That is hard to understand, isn't it? It seems like it should be easier in some ways - you have experienced both lifestyles and know you prefer the drug-free one, so why not always choose it? That doesn't seem to be what people experience though.

What were you thinking when you decided to drink or use?

[NoSugar]

I know. When heading for a relapse I think we tend to avoid the voice of reason though. So that we can more easily justify our actions

pretty universal reaction - which is why we were worried.

[starty]

That is hard to understand, isn't it? It seems like it should be easier in some ways - you have experienced both lifestyles and knows you prefer the drug-free one, so why not always choose it? That doesn't seem to be what people experience though.

What were you thinking when you decided to drink or use?

This time I was thinking of having one last hurrah. I guess I was feeling deprived. Which deep down I know I wasn't but it was not hard to justify my actions. That is what scares me, My mind just takes over

[NoSugar]

It doesn't sound like it was much of a Hurrah so if you think this way again, you can remember this, dismiss the thought, and move on. It isn't all that much fun once you know all we do about what drinking does to us. There's no forgetting that now.

What were you thinking when you were feeling deprived?

[IamMary]

Hey Starty, great to see you:hug:
It's a total head wrecker.. I've been wobbly over Christmas too, sometimes I find myself wishing my life away so I can have years under my belt.. I suppose every wobble and relapse shapes us builds us up another bit.
Pills too? Or just a drink?
You ready for a new day one??

[starty]

It doesn't sound like it was much of a Hurrah so if you think this way again, you can remember this, dismiss the thought, and move on. It isn't all that much fun once you know all we do about what drinking does to us. There's no forgetting that now.

What were you thinking when you were feeling deprived?

I couldnt dismiss it. I think that was the problem. It was just continuous cravings that seemed unquenchable. I think it was purely mental and not physical (they are easier really) but they just didn't let up.

I was thinking I just wanted to feel OK with the world. I think all the drinking talk at work didn't help, but I can't blame that

[starty]

Hey Starty, great to see you:hug:
It's a total head wrecker.. I've been wobbly over Christmas too, sometimes I find myself wishing my life away so I can have years under my belt.. I suppose every wobble and relapse shapes us builds us up another bit.
Pills too? Or just a drink?
You ready for a new day one??

Thanks Mary. Yes I get that wishing my life away feeling. And then I think about the 7 years I had. It really does get tougher each time we give in. What stopped you giving in?

Yes I will get back on the wagon. This is NOT how I want to live my life

[NoSugar]

Mary, I was just thinking today that I feel like I never had a problem. (Don't worry - I'm aware how that sounds!). The point is, you don't have to wish your life away. You can feel comfortable and secure sooner than feels possible now.

[NoSugar]

Did you feel ok after you drank or was being aware of what you were giving up come into play? I just don't think I could "enjoy" it anymore. Even before the regrets set in.

[starty]

good woman:hug: you're here -- you're back in the fold -- I really DO understand about not being able to dismiss those feelings -- when in the grips of a 'want' or a 'need' for alcohol in those last two horrible years -- I just did NOT believe those feelings would go away if I waited them out -- that now is I s'pose a no brainer -- but crikey it was a huge breakthrough for me when I realised it -- helped me quit the ciggies too... don't be sad Starty -- we've all done it... xxxx

I think that is it. They just didn't go away and seemed to get worse. I think that is why I was so keen on quitting sugar I think that the sugar overload at Christmas fuelled my cravings as well.

[starty]

Did you feel ok after you drank or was being aware of what you were giving up come into play? I just don't think I could "enjoy" it anymore. Even before the regrets set in.

Yes, I felt good (well not good but you know what I mean) How long have you been sober NS?

[NoSugar]

I've written about this before, Starty but for me, sugar was a trigger, not a substitute. We're all different and it's important to know how your body reacts.