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    Originally posted by mollyka
    N (e.g. spouse's near-death, terminal illness Dx, etc.) doesn't seem all that surprising or unusual. But -- knowing that we can similarly change our thinking (and so our feelings and lives) at any time is revolutionary to me.

    -Why do some people wait for a rock bottom before they - immediately - quit drinking/drugging? Because they don't know that they can change their thinking at will - without waiting for an external stimulus.

    When people keep having the hated "day 1's", it isn't because they are weak or bad or in some other way morally flawed. They simply haven't decided to be non-drinkers yet. It doesn't mean that they never will. At any moment chronic relapsers can change their thinking and change their lives. (There are examples of people who used to struggle who are doing really well on MWO right now! ) It is frustrating to see people not make the change they say they want but understanding the 3Ps gives me such hope for all of us.

    Happy New Year to all, NS


    This one -- hope you don't mind me bringing the post across NS
    That is a wonderful reminder. I just don't get why my thoughts wouldnt change or ease up. I guess I ultimately didn't allow them to move on

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      Almost 3 years AF, Starty.

      Thanks, Molly. So many things I've been trying to understand (like how I quit drinking without drugs, therapy, rehab, etc.) have clicked. Understanding how things works is so helpful.

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        Starty, was it days of craving? Hours? Were there any breaks?

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          Originally posted by NoSugar View Post
          I've written about this before, Starty but for me, sugar was a trigger, not a substitute. We're all different and it's important to know how your body reacts.
          Yes I think my body is very sensitive to what I put in it. Sugar does breed cravings for me and will trigger a binge

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            Originally posted by mollyka
            what a positive that you tried to grab hold of that -- and certainly worth dealing with ---

            d'ya know Starty - those two years between my heavy drinking period and this quit - it just revolved around indulging those 'wants' -- I won't call them cravings -- I wasn't craving -- or -- god I dunno I find it hard to describe -- but the THINKING became obsessional -- and it went from 'can I - will I?' to 'when will I?' -- round and round on a merry go round --- once those thoughts/feelings/wants became an absolute impossibility -- (I put that down to all I learned in rehab) - they could no more be pandered to than that I could fly to Mars -- it all went away -- it disappeared --- and a little bit like NS said back in that post -- 'they simply haven't DECIDED to become non-drinkers yet' ---- THAT is the key --- shit -- who am I lecturing to --- this is ridiculous -- not gonna delete tho cos some of it makes sense -- xxxx
            I think that is what I did last time. I took away any decision to drink For some reason this time although that was my intention, it did not help me

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              Hello Starty,
              Good to have you back. Lots of love :love: Many :hug: and absolutely no judgement from me. The important thing is what you are doing...getting right back up with renewed resolve. We are all here for you! X
              “It always seems impossible until it's done”
              ― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela

              AF 1 July 2015

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                Originally posted by NoSugar View Post
                Starty, was it days of craving? Hours? Were there any breaks?
                It seemed not, but I guess it was mainly through the month of december. Prior to that I was doing ok.

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                  Originally posted by sunbird2 View Post
                  Hello Starty,
                  Good to have you back. Lots of love :love: Many :hug: and absolutely no judgement from me. The important thing is what you are doing...getting right back up with renewed resolve. We are all here for you! X
                  Thank you Sunny. I do appreciate this

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                    Going to take myself off to bed now. Thanks everyone for your support and thoughts It does help to clarify where I want to be

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                      Starty, one of my "rules" was that I had to come on MWO and post my intentions b/f I drank. I figured if an online forum was my only source of support, I'd better use it! Just the pause taken to write it out was usually enough and then, given that someone almost always is online, I got responses reminding me why I'm here in the first place. You don't have to fight those feelings alone - share them with people who know exactly what you're talking about.

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                        Good night. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you. xx, NS

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                          Starty - Hang in there :hug:
                          "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                          ..........
                          AF - 7-27-15

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                            Originally posted by starty View Post
                            Thanks Mary. Yes I get that wishing my life away feeling. And then I think about the 7 years I had. It really does get tougher each time we give in. What stopped you giving in?
                            I think I have read every post on here since 2006!! (well, not quite) and doing everything the experts suggest. If they can do it, so can we starty.
                            Chat tomorrow, new day. X
                            AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

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                              Plus the small things, Roxy said something the other day, She would be too afraid to take a drink now - that did hit me, she's right, I dont know where that would end.
                              Posts from new people really help too cos they are often full of the pain (a reminder) and hope. Molly was great here there other day, as were others..
                              AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

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                                Originally posted by starty View Post
                                Thanks NS. Nothing wrong, I just gave in to my cravings
                                If it is any consolation Starty I was a whisker away from drinking yesterday!

                                Every xmas it hits me in the new year that I REALLY want a drink. I even told my son yesterday how much I wanted to get drunk.

                                I think it is the relief of surviving the drinking fest!

                                Don't sweat it... it is only something if you think it is!

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