It's me again-AnnCarolina

[Struggles 106]

I am back,humbly admitting another "defeat" .
Opportunity arose and I was stupid. As usual the sadness and shame are overwhelming
If this feeling could be captured and re-experienced as a deterrent...

But then I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy.

Logged back on today as Struggles 106, already had to smile at some things I read.

So glad you are all here.

Ann

[briseus]

Welcome, Ann/Struggles.

I remember that feeling all to well. I think we all do.
And I think I can speak for everyone when I say welcome back and we are all here for you.

Just make sure to take care of yourself on your day 1. And grab a pen and paper and figure out what you're going to do different this time. Trust me. It helps.
Eat lots of chocolate and stick close.

[Struggles 106]

Thank you Bris! So nice to hear from you. I have been writing and have always found it helpful.
I moved in June to a bigger place because my daughter and her baby are here. I am certainly not using this situational stress as an excuse. Though it can be maddening.
Anyhow....I'm back and I think I'd better take a trip to visit Byrdlady,my friend in NC
I would say it shooting for a sober 2016, but I don't want to jinx it.one lousy day at a time is probably the way to go at this point
Ann

[Guitarista]

Welcome back Ann. Good to see you here.

Now don't forget your toolbox.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/monthly-abstinence/24253-tool-box.html

Take care of yourself. G

[Struggles 106]

I appreciate you guys so very much. Seems to me that every "episode" is worse and awful and cringe-worthy. Who in the world wants to do that?
Terrible night,lucky to be here. Could I hate myself any more than I already do?
So...my daughter and the baby will be back tomorrow. She is 15 months old and adorable. Actually I have no right to put myself in harms way,assuming that they need me to be around.
Thanks everyone

[Byrdlady]

Oh gosh, Ann, I hate to hear this! What happened? Maybe if you can get it down in detail it will help you next time when it might seem like a good idea. Join us over in the nest, weve got a great bunch of folks there that can help! No, it doesnt get any easier, but this CAN be your last time! Hugs dear lady, Byrdie

[available]

Hi Ann and welcome back, i remember your from before. I remember a few years ago my daughter told me if she ever had children she would not let me look after them as i was always drunk. It took me two years to get sober and still no bloody grandchildren but i am glad i will be sober when they arrive. Set an example for your grandchild, dont let them see and live through al addiction.

My son has ust stopped drinking and he is 22. It breaks my heart to know i have contributed in some way to him being an alcoholic and i didnt think i was a bad drinker back then but i drank a couple every day and his father drank everyday and i had stress relief blinders. He seen it all and i feel he has learnt to use al as a way to hide from life. thank god he has decided to stop hiding and live and he has me as his role model. I never thought my drinking would affect his life, only mine and for that i am sad but i am totally and truly grateful for finding mwo and sticking close.

[Sunbeam]

Hi Anne,
I remember you, welcome back, though you wish the circumstances were different. There is a thread not too far back, relapse in retrospect. A number of people have posted their relapse stories there, if you wish to read them or post your own. I call myself a slow learner, it all just takes time to sink in, I believe. We are the lucky ones, so many are out there still in denial about their drinking.

[JeffRob887]

I am back,humbly admitting another "defeat" .
Opportunity arose and I was stupid. As usual the sadness and shame are overwhelming
If this feeling could be captured and re-experienced as a deterrent...

But then I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy.

Logged back on today as Struggles 106, already had to smile at some things I read.

So glad you are all here.

Ann

Stop using the word "defeat". Yeah, you may have relapse or something, but always remember you are never defeated. There is always chance. Recovery is a lifetime journey, there is a lot of struggle but eventually you can do it, I know it. Never back down this time! And remember, one day at a time, okay? Simple steps will surely turn into milestones. Just be patient. Keep us updated.

[Choices]

Hugs Ann,

I needed to come back under not so good circumstances myself. Big hugs it just feels awful. Your going to feel better, trust me. Just gotta dig deep and go strait through it. Luckily we are all here and know how it goes! Try not to beat yourself up too much, although... I know all to well that horrible 1st day... Days feeling. Ug! Hang in there.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Ann :hug:

---

Here's the thread Sunbeam mentioned :
https://www.mywayout.org/community/ge...etrospect.html.
Sharing your story might help you and I'm sure it would benefit others.

Do you still have the magic earrings I sent you? No way can you drink while you've got those on so put 'em in and leave them there, ok?

[little beagle]

Hi Ann.
Glad you're back. Sorry you feel bad, but it'll get better and then even better.

[techie]

Welcome back!!!

[Mick]

hiya Ann....good to "see" you tho been nicer in different circs...lets keep it a struggles 106.............................struggles 107 sounds a pretty crap name.. interesting ..... the opportunity arose and I took it..the opportunity is always there whether it be parties nipping out to the shop etc..something went wrong for you,so next time forewarned is forearmed...:hug:

[kuya]

Hi Ann, nice to see you again.

You are back and choosing to be sober rather than to drink excessively again.....that is success in my books.