One Step at Time-Feburary 2016

[paulywogg]

Happy Monday,I'm with Fen,I don't like football! I try and fake it for the Superbowl but I was zoning out and daydreaming most of the game,the commercials were boring too,remember back they would have such hilarious commercials you couldn't wait to talk about them at work? Egh,not anymore, my brother stopped by for a bit yesterday, he was in town for a concert the night before,my house was a mess! Embarrassing, but oh well,he didn't stay long cuz its a 3 hour drive back home, I was just happy to see him and give him a hug,I told him that I haven't drank since him and mom were down last,not sure if he believed me but I know and that's all I care about alrighty, off to get ready,hey Nora,can you post a pic of the dress? Hope we all have a peaceful Monday

[SKendall]

Morning all. Ne, good job on getting out of your comfort zone.

Rusty, you're right about the benefits of being AL free and I rarely even think of it now.

Didn't watch the SB, watched stuff I have been taping.

I went shopping with a friend on Friday, she had her son's car and she made 8 stops. After 5 I couldn't get out of the car again,, so lesson learned, it's taken me until today to feel better again.

Nora, you are way stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Hello to everyone else and have a great day.

[NoraC]

Morning peeps.....

Quick check in from work. :checkin:

Don't have time to comment but wanted to say hi.

SK - thanks for the kind words. Not feeling very strong at the moment. I sure hope that you start feeling better SOON!

Catch you all in awhile.

[Rusty]

Hey Nora, what's wrong, darling? You don't sound like your perky self.:hug:

Hey Skendall...good to see you here...hope your pain is lessening.

Quiet thread here today. I hope everyone is happy.

[Lizann]

Ne, we love Baltimore! It's about a 4 hour drive from here, but always a good time. Enjoy!
Nora, I hope you are ok!
Pauly, the picture with your brother was great. Who cares what the house looked like! You're doing amazing!
So my day relatively uneventful. I did go shopping today and got a bathing suit! We are going away in a few weeks. I wasn't looking really but went to the mall to walk. Yeah, it just kinda jumped out at me. Nora, I'm thinking that's what needs to happen to you with the dress.

[NoraC]

Hey all...

Rusty & Liz - I'm fine. Thanks for checking. :hug: SK had mentioned that I was strong and I just don't feel strong right now - feel like I'm not doing enough. For mom, for hubby, for son, for relatives and friends. So, I've been beating myself up a bit. But, I'm over it. Right now I'm laying on the couch watching a movie and playing on my kindle. :rotlf:

I'll catch up tomorrow.takes me forever to type on this thing and half the time I have to go back and correct the auto words.

[mama bear]

I was happy for Peyton Manning. I am not huge NFL fan, but we had fun.
Yesterday I worked from home but I will be out on site the rest if the week.
Nora - you worried me too. You are doing plenty...more than most would do in your situation.
Sounds like everyone had a good week...SK , I hop e you are feeling better.
Gotta blaze....
Pauly - how did your therapy session go. Didn't you mention therapy?

[paulywogg]

Hey all,Mama,the therapy is ok,the doc recommend it to get to the bottom of why I have anxiety, he's teaching CBT and breathing exercises,Nora,you are doing enough,probably more than I'd be capable of,still haven't seen the dress can you post a pic? Liz,I don't even want to look at a bathing suit! Isn't it crazy how pricey they are for such tiny things?lingerie too,OMG,just thought of something, when I was newly married we were out of town and staying at a motel 6 with a pool so we ran to Kmart and I bought a cute white one piece with an anchor on the front, got back,changed,jumped into the water and holy shit,the bathing suit was completely see through when wet!! Plus it started losing its shape,kinda like if you wore a wife-beater in the pool,I had hubs run to the room and get one of his t-shirts cuz there were people in the pool,put the shirt on in the water and ran back to the room just dying,dunno why that memory poped up it was so long ago haha,I gotta find a food right now much love to all,hope we have a terrific Tuesday

[NoraC]

Morning everyone.

Pauly - saw your post about the artificial sweeteners. I was going to join in with you. BUT, I then realized that I shouldn't try to do anything before the wedding. I have enough anxiety without having caffeine withdrawal.
Laughed about your bathing suit fiasco. My cousin had a white bathing suit that did that. Eek!

Thanks for all the support friends. I'm feeling down in the dumps. No reason but lots of things going on......my friend's last day here is on Friday, going out to a restaurant/bar on Friday night, son getting married and trying to get everything done. I'm happy but just down.....I know that doesn't make sense.
Plus, there are so many alcohol thoughts. Alcohol is everywhere. Not drinking thoughts but just having it shoved in my face all the time. They got a case of red wine. Must be 10 bottles? Now, they are going to get more white wine. I just worry that my son doesn't think he has a problem.....but, I see that look in his eye. You know the one I mean? The one where you are scoping out the next drink even though you haven't finished the one you have........

I'm just rambling. Nothing is wrong but I just needed to talk. So thanks for listening.

Back to work. :checkin:

Liz - I'm sure you look gorgeous in your new suit.

[NoraC]

Thanks Ne - I just needed to vent a little. Thanks :hug:

I'm at work so this will be short & sweet. I've used several meds to help. Topa, Naltrexone, Campral and Antabuse. I never stuck with it with the meds. If I wanted to drink, I would end up skipping pills or with antabuse just stopping it until it was out of my system and I could drink.
Bottom line is that I guess I wasn't ready to quit so the meds didn't work for me. But, I know that Sunshinedaisies has had great success with Nal. And Rusty with Bac and Nal.
How are you doing? Did you have an AF day yesterday? Are you trying the Naltrexone?

[NoraC]

Ne - yes, of course, you can talk about that here.
About 7 months ago, I was at my low. Sneaking it, hiding bottles, getting smashed, passing out, hiding it from hubby (not very well). It was either continue to kill myself or stop.
I think that starting on the Nal will help you. Getting yourself out of the house is a really good idea. Do whatever you need to so you can get a couple good days in.
We're here for you. :hug:

[SKendall]

Hi all. Nora, I think you are just overwhelmed, you have a lot more going on than is normal for you. I have felt the same way since the accident, so much to follow up on I get overwhelmed and depressed. B/c I can't get cell reception in the apt I have to go outside for calls which is inconvenient and I just keep procrastinating.

Ne, have you thought about getting a dog? It would get you out to walk it every day.

I am majorly p.o'd. My apt. manager sent us all a notice for apt. inspection today. B/c I haven't been able to bend let alone scrub a bathtub things are untidy etc. I went down to the office and asked her assistant to respectfully allow me to be exempt until I could at least mop a floor. He questioned my injury and I reminded him I had a fractured spine, not a pulled muscle.

No one got back to me so I assumed I was exempt. I just got back from visiting a friend in the complex and walking Peggy. My door was locked and I had left it open as I was just in the complex. Stuck in the door was a 10 day notice to vacate. The reason being she saw me in the field with Peggy last night and she wasn't on a leash. The dogs are allowed w/o leash in the lower field but there is a demarcation of upper and lower and Peggy sometimes gets ahead of me getting to the upper field before I can hook her back up.

I feel as if I've been disrespected and that makes me feel vulnerable. If it were to happen again and I will try hard for it not to, not be able to let her loose in the lower field, where am I supposed to go in my condition.

I guess I needed to vent too.

Grrr! I don't know how to respond. I don't like this manager b/c she has a list of people she likes who feed her gossip and people like me who don't and keep our distance. I've never been late with my rent and this just makes me angry - I need a valium, lol. I have to resolve this in my mind or will be a sleepless night of irritation and anger.

[fennel]

SKendall, that seems like a piss-poor excuse to evict somebody. I hope you will contest it. I'm really sorry, you just can't catch a break these days. :hug:

Nora, keeping hanging in there...things are just so busy for you these days, what with work, your mom and the upcoming wedding on your plate. :hug:

Pauly, that's huge about your discovery re: artificial sweeteners...perhaps you will feel a LOT better in the coming weeks without your diet drinks! I can't wait the results of your personal study.

NE, I think you were wise to leave before the snow. It's not a lot of fun to drive in, and I'm used to it!

[fennel]

Mama, Liz...I hope you are having a good week.

I had a good day today. I like how busy the job keeps me, plus I get to visit with seniors. It would be so great for my mom to be in assisted living apartment. I bet the place we are looking at for her even has a housekeeping option like my place does. Of course, I wish it were ME looking after mom, but this is my new "normal". I have to get used to it.

[NoraC]

Ok - this is the dress. Remember:
It's not a fancy wedding (courthouse and then dinner at a restaurant)
I still have to get shoes
I still have to get my hair trimmed & colored
I'm not wearing makeup
I am exhausted and look it
I need to lose 80 pounds