New plan- check it out

[Struggles 106]

I've thought of a way to do something constructive with my awful memories.
I created a timeline, defining periods of years that begin and send with significant events. Starting with high school graduation, the years between that and marriage, college years etc. I can remember better that way-like what was happening
in my life when I did various stupid nonsense.
I have assigned these time periods a number, left to right. When I record a memory I assign it the number to its time period.
It's helping me see the ebb and flow of my addiction. It gives me insight into sober times, and maybe why that was happening.
Since I cannot "turn off" these cringe inducing memories I thought I'd make use of them this way. Of course the added benefit is seeing the destruction more clearly for so long.

Love to all

Ann

[lex]

Ann- that sounds like a great idea. I have been meaning to do the same thing, but I haven't put pen to paper yet. Please keep us posted on how it is going! lex

[Byrdlady]

Interesting! Maybe getting it down in black and white can help you process and then put away, the bad stuff. Learning that being sober is a privilidge and not deprivation goes a long way! Hugs to you! Byrdie

[techie]

Wonderful. Sounds like a very good strategy. Keep us posted on your progress!

[NoSugar]

Since I cannot "turn off" these cringe inducing memories I thought I'd make use of them this way. Of course the added benefit is seeing the destruction more clearly for so long.

Those memories may come into your mind, but you don't have to go over and over them. Whatever happened isn't happening now and doesn't need to happen again.
I heard the analogy that repeatedly going over our bad past experiences is like choosing to go to an upsetting or scary movie many times. Like the movies, our memories aren't really happening and we don't have to keep choosing a bad experience.

I hope that once you learn what you can from examining the past, you can let it stay there while you move forward, enjoying each healthy, AF moment that can be the rest of your life. xx, NS

[j-vo]

Struggles, everyone's different and this may be a great idea for you. For me, I feel like rehashing things over and over just put me in a really dark mood. But...we can learn things form our past behaviors and actions and this can be a useful tool. When a lesson plan doesn't go well, I pinpoint what the source was that may have caused it to go badly. So yes, looking at these factors, doing a little data analysis may be a good thing if used in the right way.

[lex]

Maybe you write it all down, acknowledge it happened, then let it go!

[Struggles 106]

Thanks for support! Part of this endeavor is letting it all go, one chunk at a time.
It seems that I tend to think in linear terms, and once the time line has the memories recalled and recorded I intend to banish them. Rather like the timeline is going to fall away from left to right as I let it go, memories, regrets and all.
I'm sure this is going to be good for me. It allows to me bring my thinking forward to the present and how I am doing now.
I'm really trying to live in the moment. Though it is difficult at times with my daughter and her baby here I'm trying to enjoy the baby, knowing that she won't be little very long.
I know I am quite fortunate in many ways.

Love to all

Ann

[Sunbeam]

Ann, I think we need lots of ideas to find the right combo for our lives. It could be a different frame around writing a good-by letter to alcohol. I wish you much success!