One Step at a Time - March 2016

[NoraC]

Morning all. POETS day. It's that what it is called? LOL

I don't think it's all social either mama. We don't have to talk about alcohol exclusively. But, we jump in and have discussions, advise, etc immediately when needed......I am trying to learn to live without alcohol. So, I think this is a perfect blend. Serious discussions about alcohol, serious discussions about daily life, fun discussions. This is what I need. A place to be able to say. I need help and knowing that you all have my back. :hug:

[Rusty]

Good Morning!

Yes, Nora it IS POETS' Day! Hahaha!

I don't think this is a purely "social" thread either. You described it perfectly, Nora. You are a testimony of commitment with all the AF time under your belt. :-)

Where are you, Fenny and NE?

Paperwork, organizing and exercising...that's my agenda for today.

Have a lovely Friday, everyone!

[paulywogg]

Hey all,I think it was me that said this was a social thread which is a good thing cuz its a nice distraction, sometimes when I'm feeling really strong I don't like to talk about alcohol, I like to put it on the back burner and forget it totally but I don't think that's working obviously cuz I keep forgetting what the hell I'm doing here and that this IS an alcohol problem support site that I'm supposed to be using to my advantage ya know? I'd like us to support each other in maintaining sobriety,little tips maybe,nutrition maybe,different strategies that work etc,I know Mama and AG moderate and that's fine,I'm sure we can still all learn from each other, we've been friends for awhile now and I'd just like to see us lean on each other more for al support,does that make sense? Sound bitchy? Trying not to,much love to all,have a fun Friday

[paulywogg]

Mr,V how are you? I know on day 3 I didn't feel like posting much either,just make sure you get lots of water,rest,b-vits and food! I must have ate the entire taco bell menu last week haha

[Rusty]

Mr. V-Pauly is right...I found my cravings for AL were much less severe when I took the B-12 and my Vitamin supplements. Our bodies are so starved for nutrition but I used to misinterpret those cravings as being for AL. They weren't. My doctor told me the first time I saw her that my body was depleted of Vitamin D, B, E and Folic Acid. (This was in December, 2007).

Pauly-I still avoid certain foods because I used to drink with them. I had to give up my favorite: Planter's Salted Cocktail Peanuts. Boy, do I miss them! But it's not worth it to me...I figure if I buy them then I will HAVE to get wine/vodka, etc. to go along with them. No Bueno.

[fennel]

Morning all. POETS day. It's that what it is called? LOL

I don't think it's all social either mama. We don't have to talk about alcohol exclusively. But, we jump in and have discussions, advise, etc immediately when needed......I am trying to learn to live without alcohol. So, I think this is a perfect blend. Serious discussions about alcohol, serious discussions about daily life, fun discussions. This is what I need. A place to be able to say. I need help and knowing that you all have my back. :hug:

I agree with Nora. I think we are the perfect amount of social/alcohol talk/whatever. I remember when we used to get snide comments from some of the judgier peeps, but most of those don't even post on MWO any longer.

I think that we are kind and supportive of each other, which is what matters the most.

I am sorry that I've been a bit AWOL. Yesterday was a sad day for me. One of my fave residents is actively dying. She's a holocaust survivor who was very feisty and territorial, so we only cleaned her room when she was eating in the dining room. Since I started my job, she's rapidly gone downhill. Yesterday was the first time I have ever cleaned her space while she was in it. Actually, I didn't clean...just did a visual inspection, got the trash. She's bedbound.

She hoards food and other items. I recently helped her swipe a St. Paddy's day centerpiece from the dining room, LOL. She loves beautiful things, and I figured "What the heck?" It made her happy.

I was also so sad about my divorce yesterday. I so miss holding hands with somebody, and just having a home of my own. I kept getting weepy at work, which sucks. I did it discreetly, but geez...

There is so much pressure right now. The flooring peeps want to schedule a date to install my new flooring, but my painting guy has not responded to my texts for a date that he will be finished painting. He's a rather unreliable friend, so I have decided to fire him before he even starts and find a regular painting company. Realistically, nobody could give me a bid until they see the place and the closing is on March 31st.

I will call the flooring place tomorrow and update them.

Further, my mom's closing of her house sale is April 22nd. Thankfully, my baby sister is finally showing up to help. We are going to rent a storage locker for my mom's hoard. She will be happier knowing that it is still "hers". For those of you with hoarding tendencies, or who know hoarders, you will agree with me that this is a good decision. I was irritated at first, but this isn't about me, it's about my mom. She needs to be happy and know she still owns her "stuff". Further, I have been "claiming" some items from her hoard for my new home, which is making my mom very happy. Like the napkin holder from "Biblical Gardens". My uncle's machinist tools, etc. It makes her happy to know that I will furnish my place with some of her hoard.

I'm sorry to make this post all about me, but I've been thinking. In the last nine months, I have gone through physical therapy for my injured shoulder, been kicked out of the home I'd only been in briefly, moved the entirety of our old home without assistance from J (okay, that was a year and a half ago), taken my mom to at least six funerals, three of which were in December and I was a pall-bearer in one), put our cat down at our home after we split up, taken care of my mom and her cat when I could, started a very physical full time job, purchased a new home which is soon to be closed on, and am trying to arrange the painting and flooring and moving peeps.

It's crazy and I can't wait for it all to just be done.

On the upside, my maintenance supervisor boyfriend is finally speaking to me again. It really hurt that he was avoiding me for whatever reasons. I want to go out with him again to ask him what was up!

So...I know that things will calm down in a month. I will be able to make art in my own home again. My mom will be in a safe place. I will be well trained in my new job. I am sober and even if emotions get a bit messy, that's okay.

Going to read back and respond...

I love you all.

[NoraC]

Fen - THANK YOU for posting about yourself. THANK YOU! I have been so concerned about you. So much going on. I am so sorry. :hug: :hug: Of course you were weepy. I love you!

[Rusty]

Fenny-I am SO sorry....about EVERYHING....your terminally ill resident/friend/hoarder;-), your divorce, your Mom. Wow, when it rains, it pours...all simultaneously. Yup, it sucks, for sure. :sad: I hope you can find a new partner who will love you like we do. It must be a relief to know you're selling your mom's house but heartbreaking for her...lots of memories there. Thank you for posting! I was worried about you, too.

Well, it's been heavenly to have time off at home but I will be ready to go back to work on Tuesday, I think. Yesterday, we got some sad news. My mom wanted to renew her driver's license and she failed the eye exam. She is really sad. My sister and I are, too. I am trying to put the positive spin on this that maybe this is a GOOD thing. My brothers and sister and I dreaded the day we had to tell Mom that maybe she couldn't drive and now the DMV (Dept. of Motor Vehicles) is saying it so that takes one tough decision off our plates. Maybe this happened because it will prevent Mom from getting in a car accident. We would rather have her be safe than sorry...as the old adage goes.

Big hellos to everyone else. I am off to the gym.

Have a great day, everyone!

[Lizann]

I'm back and I have read back! I have missed you all! We had a wonderful time. The resort was beautiful, the staff very attentive, weather perfect. We rented a car and explored. We played cards on our balcony in the evenings and just laughed and talked! The sun was super strong and we all got sunburned even though we had on sunscreen. We shopped and we ate. Memories were made! Lucy enjoyed her vacation too. Erin sent us pictures of her while at her house. Erin has French doors leading out to a balcony and that's where Lucy hung out, watching what was going on outside. My mom watched her a few days too. Mom said she didn't even seem to miss us. Anyway, I've got a ton of laundry waiting for me. I'll check back later tonight.

[SKendall]

Fen, I am so sorry for all of your problems and you are absolute proof of hard times making you stronger. You are resourceful, a survivor, hard worker and full of compassion. I am glad to know you.

Rusty, it's sad about your mom. I went through this with my dad and it was humbling for him.

Lizz, glad you're back and it sounds as if you had a wonderful time.

I haven't been posting b/c I have nothing good to report, just more $$ drama with husband and pain issues. Had a nerve test the other day I didn't even know there was one. 30 some needles with an electric charge sounds painful but it wasn't. I bought Vivian her Easter dress and shoes and I bought her Easter lollipops from Williams-Sonoma with the message that she always reminds me of lollipops and rainbows so here are the lollipops and Nana is looking for a rainbow! W-S only have these lollipops at Easter and they have very tasteful Easter gifts. I'll probably buy a rainbow coloured article of clothing.

The dress is flowered and her shoes are pink leather.

The people interested in the house have backed away. It's a beautiful home architecturally designed on 10 acres by a river, but it's remote and rainy.

Hi to everyone else.

[mama bear]

I am not even going to start fussing about all the crap going on in my life.....I am going to send warm, loving hugs to everyone. Skwerly - we love you unconditionally and if the weepiness doesn't stop, please promise you will talk to a doctor about depression. You are going thru some MAJOR life changes. Spoken with love, ok.
I have been cleaning and doing laundry. Not sure what the plan is for date night. We have made some new friends and hung out with them last night. This is the young lady that I helped through the memorial when Brian died at Christmas, and I think I have become kind of a "cool" mom figure to her.
I love you and I have your back......and you are always in my heart.
Glad you had a nice trip Lizz.

[mama bear]

Sorry about your Mom, Rusty...xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[fennel]

Rusty, maybe your mom just needs cataract surgery...has she had that yet?

[fennel]

SK, thanks for the kind words.

Your Easter gifts sound lovely! I love the WS seasonal treats, especially their peppermint bark at Christmas time.

Sorry about the potential buyers backing away from the house. It will go, eventually.

Mama, Nora, Rusty, Pauly, Liz, everybody...thank you so much for being there.

[fennel]

Mama, thank you for your concern. I have definitely been depressed, what with all of life's major depressors going on in full force.

Today, I woke up and decided to clean the fennel-mobile. It's coated with dust on the inside and my weather tech mats needed a serious scrubbing. If anyone met me and took a liking to me, they'd immediately assume I'm bat shit crazy due to the interior of my car. It looks really great, now. I worked out at the Y, showered and I dare to say that I actually felt "hot" and confident today. I ended up at the campus art museum that I've wanted to visit for ages but couldn't due to depression and loathing of the parking situation. I had a great time there.

Getting stuff lined up for my move, but today was more a feeling of confidence than of fear. I think I am finally coming around.

Mama, tell us more about your job. If a place has been vacant "forever", what do you need to do?

Nora, how's your mom doing?

Welcome back, Liz! I loved Puerto Rico. Did you visit the place with the illuminating plankton or whatever they are?