One Step at a Time - March 2016

[fennel]

Quick check in, friends!

Liz-so glad you had a wonderful time! We missed you here!

Fenny-I so get how you don't want to hang out with your family. I love my siblings, but some of the relatives on my mom's side...NO THANKS! Thank God they don't live near here. I hope you can find a fun, alternative plan for Easter.


To answer your question about my mom...she had cataracts years ago and now she has a detached retina and can't see out of one eye, and she has severe glaucoma...the poor dear. WINK

ROTF, laughing my skwerlybutt off at that last part, Rusty!

Sorry for your mom, though. Loss of vision is awful. Was your mom a reader? I think that audio books are great. Does she take eye drops for the glaucoma? I don't suppose she's a candidate for surgery any longer, or it would have been done.

My mom's cousin who passed away in December had glaucoma pretty badly, but was still able to drive until she was about 83.

I'm glad you "get" it about family. It's the Irish Catholic side, and there's a lot of pressure to get mom to all the family events, as their mom is gone now (mom's eldest sister, guilt, guilt) and mom is the only one of her generation left, and receives and gives so much comfort to her family (inward groan). As you all are aware, I have been squiring mom to all of these events for several years, now. Birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's day, funerals (of which there are many), class reunions (held yearly now, because there are so few of the classes from the "40's")...of course, their homes are in the same county as my cabin and it pains me to even drive near to there. So many memories, so much loss.

I will have next weekend off, so there is no "real" reason for me not to take mom to the festivities, except for the fact that I work a rigorous full time job all week (sis works a desk job 20 hours a week) and I am the one who has been doing it all these years. I will bite the bullet and text sis and see if she will do the honors. I've paid my dues with that side of the family.

[fennel]

Just read back...thank you all so much for your support. I know that many of you have gone through similar, or WORSE. It's nice to have a place to come to and vent and feel loved.

SKendall, I hope you will keep on bringing up divorce...I want hubs to squirm! He should be held accountable for systematically destroying your retirement funds. What he did was a huge "no no". I wish you could hire "Pitbull", but I know that our town's "Pitbull" equivalent has a 7K retainer. She's good, but she's pricey.

So, thank you Nora, Rusty, Pauly, Red, SKendall, Mama, NE, techie, K9, Liz, Action Girl and anyone else I might have missed.

[fennel]

So, yesterday was my fun day...today was my not so fun day. I promised soon to be x that I would pack up more of my stuff at the house today.

It pains me to go there. She has so many pics of her laughing and looking like she's moved on. She packed up what I hope are all of my books. Today I packed up nearly all of my framed art. She tried to hold onto all of it, but there were some artists and their work that were specifically my purchase, and I told/reminded her of that. So, I have my Steve Chappell prints, my "Lone Cypress on Telegraph Hill", my watercolor from a local artist of a "Jack-in-the pulpit" and the local artist "fireflies" watercolor. Plus, more.

I was packing and grunting boxes to the garage for ages. I saw a photo album on her counter and opened it. It's photos of her on work trips, looking happy...and then, it hit me. Most of the photos on display in her home are of her. Nearly all of them! It's like she has a shrine to herself and her work boondoggles. However, I know that her relationships with work acquaintances are very superficial, and she was always envious of the deeper relationships I had. I brought all of the social capital to the relationship.

In the last few weeks, she's gotten tipsy on wine and texted me, complaining about her weight gain and constant travel. She's not having a great time at all. She's having a superficial and lonely time. I suddenly felt sad for her. As hard as it is for me to be at our old house, packing up years of my life for yet another move, I have people who truly love me. I can truly communicate with people. I have a real support network, in my sister wives who have so kindly housed me for the last nine months, in my (yes, crazy) family, and in my family here.

So, as much as this time sucks, and oh...it has sucked badly...I know things are getting better for me. I will find happiness again. As for STBX Mrs. Fen? I am not at all certain that she shall. I think she will continue throwing herself into her work, gaining $, but no intimacy with others. How sad is that?

[Lizann]

An epiphany Fen. You have just taken another huge step in healing and moving forward, IMHO! You really are taking major strides moving forward. Good for you!
I bought my hubby a cute little coqui tie clip last week. He went to put it on this morning and the dang thing broke! I so loved the sound of the frogs at night!
Went and got my pansies today for the front of the house. I'm thrilled it's spring! Hubby bought a fire pit today too and I'm so excited to use it!

[fennel]

I think it was an epiphany too, Liz...

So sorry hub's tie clip broke... I loved the coquis. Maybe you can order another one online? I am so glad that I made a recording of their song before we left...now I have it forever.

I love pansies, especially the "Marguerites"...that's my mom's middle name, so we are both partial to them. Things are going to get way colder here this week, so no planting for quite a while.

[fennel]

Here is one of my fave artist's prints...

http://www.schappellstudio.com/public/display_images.php?user_id=209&&u_id=49

[fennel]

This is the other one I have...

http://www.schappellstudio.com/public/display_images.php?user_id=209&&user_id=209&u_id=62

[fennel]

I just saw this...I wonder if he is a sober person, based on this print...

http://www.schappellstudio.com/public/display_images.php?user_id=209&&user_id=209&u_id=64

[NoraC]

So great to be reading all these posts today. Really great.

Fen - I'm sorry to say that I think you are right about stbx. But, I do know that you will find happiness again. :hug:
You are so right about having your sister take your Mom. You have done it all for YEARS. I am really happy that you are taking care of yourself and asking for help or saying no. I know how hard it is to do that but at times it is necessary.

SK - I'm sure your Granddaughter will love the outfit. I hope you can get a bulldog lawyer soon!
Oh - I did post a couple pics of the wedding before. I'll post more when we get the proofs. Hopefully soon.

Liz - I'm so glad that you had fun. It sounds like an amazing time.

[NoraC]

Fen - loved the prints. I'm going to check out his website some more.

Ne - glad that the new site is about to launch. Congratulations. Glad to see you - I've been thinking of you.

Techie - :hug:

Rusty - Hope that you had a good few days off.

Red - good for you for meal prep. I guess I could think about that. There - I thought about - nope, won't do that today. :rotlf:

[red67]

Ha-ha Nora, I do love prepping my meals. But, I am not always good at eating everything. I love to cook but after a couple of days I want something different than what I made. I am going to make Sundays and Wednesdays meal prep days to try to fix that.

Remember I love to go grocery's shopping.

Have a great night!

[NoraC]

Ha-ha Nora, I do love prepping my meals. But, I am not always good at eating everything. I love to cook but after a couple of days I want something different than what I made. I am going to make Sundays and Wednesdays meal prep days to try to fix that.

Remember I love to go grocery's shopping.

Have a great night!

:harhar: :harhar: :harhar:

[NoraC]

Hey AG - geez, I really misunderstood didn't I? lol Sorry about that. Thank you so much for sharing.

Pauly - what are you up to? Back to work tomorrow? I know that I am.

Mama - how was date night? What is going on with you?

Mr V - I've been thinking of you. Please check in even if it's day zero. We care.

[NoraC]

I think I have shared my story but if you haven't heard the story, I'll bore everyone again. :congratulatory:

[NoraC]

Oh and what I did this weekend was read mindless romance and or mystery books. Nothing serious this weekend. :yay: