casualty of war

[Pie]

Hey LB, Way to reach out! Bravo to you for that. Hubs left for an internet connection, yes? Chances are, that other party won't find him any more pleasant to live with than you did, which means he's likely to be back. Whether that's the good news or the bad news, really just depends on your perspective. Meanwhile, you have some time to think, and to heal. So glad that you're here. :hug:

[Lavande]

LB, I am sorry you are hurting right now :hug:
Please know that we all love & support you!

You may remember hearing I dealt with my husband of 37 years suddenly running out with no word. I was just over a year AF & thought he should be happy, but he wasn't. Turned out his unhappiness was all about him - not me. There was absolutely nothing I could have done to make him happy. Happiness is a choice we all have to make - or not.
I truly hope your husband finds the right help & chooses health & happiness. In the meantime, take good care of yourself because we all need you here :hug:

Lav

[Samstone]

LB
thinkin of you. Glad you have your doggies! Animals are a great comfort at certain times. They don't drink and they love you without question.
Sam

[Spiritfree]

I'm posting this here because I really need a bit of tlc today. I think that part of the reason my husband left me was that he couldn't face all the negative impacts his addiction caused. Looking at me, living with me was a constant reminder. This just isn't fair. I was in those trenches fighting with him.

LB -It really sounds as though you clearly understand what happened. In no way was his leaving your fault -as you KNOW. There came a time in my drinking career that I felt like I needed to leave my wife. The biggest-real reason for me was that I could not stand the pain that I was causing her. Another reason, buried deep, was that I just wanted to drink and not have anyone around to watch me -to cause me to feel guilty.

Regardless of my rhetoric, I know you are in pain and I am very sorry that you have to suffer.

[little beagle]

Spirit I know it because of the pain he has caused. He keeps saying that. And the ability to do what he wants without me watching. As you said.
Thank you everyone. I do feel a bit better. Got my haircut and I'm taking a free kick boxing lesson Monday. Get out that frustration. Plus Mr. Jones said I'd be able to sleep. I'd just be so worn out.

[SnoopyC]

LB, I have followed your posts and just want to say I am so sorry for your current situation. You did everything you could to help him, but he wants to keep on his current path and now you are left grieving with all the difficult feelings: sadness, anger, confusion, bargaining, shock, denial, sometimes acceptance, and then feeling them all over again. Keep posting and know we are all supportive of you and want to help, partly to return the help you have given, but mostly just because you are you, a great person!

[little beagle]

Thank you so much Snoopy.

[Wildflowers]

[little beagle]

Thank you everyone

[Spiritfree]

I do feel a bit better. Got my haircut and I'm taking a free kick boxing lesson Monday. Get out that frustration. Plus Mr. Jones said I'd be able to sleep. I'd just be so worn out.

Hey LB -I do hope that you are able to find some peaceful moments as you travel this -so very- difficult road. Please do find a way to get some rest. Exercise always does it for me too. My thoughts of peace are with you LB.

[Spiritfree]

Wildflowers -I just have to make a quick 'thank you' for this post/photos -especially the "Things will get better..." pic.
--sf--

[Pavati]

Hi, LB -

I am late to seeing this but wanted to send my love and positive thoughts to you.

I remember watching a YouTube video on addiction. This 40ish something mom was drinking bottles of wine every day. She had already lost her husband and was losing her kids BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL. And she continued drinking, so she lost her kids.

I KNOW in my heart that no parent in her right mind would choose to drink alcohol over having her kids with her, so the only conclusion I can make is that it wasn't her making that decision. It couldn't possibly have been. I believe that could be what is happening to Mr. B - HE isn't choosing, alcohol is.

I am glad you're feeling better - you have many friends and supporters here - use us.

xoxoxoxox
Pav

[little beagle]

Today was better. I didn't let myself break down and it helped.

[Pie]

Morning LB. I find that the passage of time is an amazing healer. Can't be hurried up though, got to take it as it comes. :hug:

[SKendall]

LB, I'm so sorry you have been badly hurt. One of the symptoms of addiction is blame and denial. When we are active in our disease we engage in that behavior and we blame everyone/everything for that.

You seem like an outstanding person and he didn't leave because of you but because he wanted to act out privately. I'm not sure this helps right now, but I am sending you strength to see this for what it is.