Hi all,
I haven't been on this site for nearly 8 years now. I have just been looking at some of my old posts. Really hard to read. I was so addicted to the alcohol back then getting through anything I could get hold of each night to blot out the domestic abuse I was dealing with. I was financially, emotionally and sexually abused by my children's father. I was living days stuck in an anti-depressant induced haze and nights knocked out with alcohol.
A lot has happened since then. I left the abusive partner with our children over three years ago. I gave up drinking totally on my own, came off anti-depressants, built a safe little home for us and trained for qualifications and found employment. I was doing so well, but recently the ex has been making lots of trouble again, I am having stress at work and my children are suffering psychological difficulties through the years of abuse. The past four months, I have relapsed into drinking again. It started with the odd one as it was the weekend and the kids were with him to now becoming an almost nightly event at bedtime as I can't sleep with stress. So annoyed and disappointed with myself. It's getting worse. On the days I don't drink, my hands are shaking really badly and I keep getting hot sweats. Never had this before when I was drinking. I don't know if it's because I have suddenly been drinking heavily again after nearly three years of total abstinence. Really need to give up which is why I am on here again. Just need to vent. Not drinking tonight.
I haven't been on this site for nearly 8 years now. I have just been looking at some of my old posts. Really hard to read. I was so addicted to the alcohol back then getting through anything I could get hold of each night to blot out the domestic abuse I was dealing with. I was financially, emotionally and sexually abused by my children's father. I was living days stuck in an anti-depressant induced haze and nights knocked out with alcohol.
A lot has happened since then. I left the abusive partner with our children over three years ago. I gave up drinking totally on my own, came off anti-depressants, built a safe little home for us and trained for qualifications and found employment. I was doing so well, but recently the ex has been making lots of trouble again, I am having stress at work and my children are suffering psychological difficulties through the years of abuse. The past four months, I have relapsed into drinking again. It started with the odd one as it was the weekend and the kids were with him to now becoming an almost nightly event at bedtime as I can't sleep with stress. So annoyed and disappointed with myself. It's getting worse. On the days I don't drink, my hands are shaking really badly and I keep getting hot sweats. Never had this before when I was drinking. I don't know if it's because I have suddenly been drinking heavily again after nearly three years of total abstinence. Really need to give up which is why I am on here again. Just need to vent. Not drinking tonight.
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