Going back to AA

[Mentium]

I have said some pretty negative stuff about AA over the years. But despite that the longest periods I have had in my entire adult life were when I was a regular attendee. The last was eleven months a couple of years ago.

I've been on this forum, off and on, since late last year and I held out a lot of hope for meds (baclofen) as a way of staying sober. For one reason and another that didn't work out for me. I had unpleasant side effects, partly cause by rushing the process I suspect. but in any case I wasn't happy on the stuff. Each to their own. I managed to stop drinking for a few weeks after that and then again for a few days more recently. But this isn't going anywhere. I am chopping and changing and perhaps looking for an 'easier way' as they say in AA. And I am drinking again.

I'm an atheist which is a bit of a stumbling block with AA, even though here in the UK the religious element seems to be much smaller than in the USA. Even so some of the 'woo' drives me bonkers. On the other hand the comradery, fellowship and peer support is pretty much unrivalled, even compared to SMART (another failed route for me).

Anyway I like this forum. It is liberal, doesn't tow a party line and it is very open to new ideas.

So tonight I am going back to my first AA meeting in almost two years - a bit less. And I plan to stay close to this forum. I'm a bit nervous about it, but I'll just have to grit my teeth.

I will also be reading up on ideas here to deal with cravings - my regular and at times in the past, unbeatable enemy.

Today is Day One for me. Wish me luck.

[JackieClaire]

Good for you, Mentium.
Haven't been to AA for donkeys but they're good people...........and a good few atheists. We both know there'll one or two the over the top Big Book addicts (can't think of a better word).........but the companionship is worth it.

What ever it takes, eh?

Let us know how you get on.

[Pie]

Good for you, Mentium. When it comes to putting together a quit plan, no need to rule out anything that might prove helpful. On the cravings, biggest challenge for me is to remember that they pass, because in the moment, they feel so all-consuming.

[aihfl]

Hi Mentium, I am currently on 80mg baclofen daily and while I find it helps with craving, I still need the support that's offered through the friends I've made in AA and also see both a psychiatrist and therapist regularly. I've found baclofen is a tool, not a cure, as I had once hoped. My homegroup is called OMAGOD, which is an acronym for "Our Mostly Agnostic Group of Drunks." I'm not necessarily agnostic, but as a secular Jew, the outright Christian overtones at many meetings would make me bristle, and it was through a friend I made in rehab that I found out about this group. There are like-minded progressive steppers out there, so I hope you are able to find them. Best of luck to you.

[Mentium]

Thank you all for your responses. It is the cravings I fear the most and it was my hope that baclofen would deal with those. Sadly that didn't work out.

Pie - you hit the nail on the heads there. Cravings have been my downfall every time I've tried to get some sober time together. The sense that nothing else matters and that no logical argument or rational thinking overcomes them are killers for me. AA members have even shared their numbers with me in the past with sincere encouragement to phone if the cravings start, but by then it is too late for me usually.

Not trying is however not an option.

[Oscar Oshannassey]

Cravings can be dealt with by meds that will give you freedom .....white knuckling AA types give you nothing except one day at a time

Meds give me freedom. The freedom to drink in a controlled fashion. Alas, firstly you must find the switch. It is not for everyone. If you had a poor experience at AA behan then try a different meeting you fool. We do not have to do this alone. Stop complaining here and actually do something man.

Nice lunch at the club with my customary one brandy. Now for a nap. Turn the lights off when you leave old chap. Good luck mentium.

[Mentium]

Where is behan's post? Did he delete it?

[aihfl]

All the best...but.... and a big one ..the relapse rate consider mentium ..any way give it a go ..maybe you just need more people egging you on AA typoes are great at that ....alone with this disease aint a comfortable place ..i completely understand ..
unfortunately this forum supports nothing but total abstinence ..they talk about support but it's conditional on being totally abstinent not unlike other forums ..and so be it .
I wish you the best I have so much enjoyed your intelligence sadly lacking here

Fact of the matter is, relapse rates are high whether you are involved in AA or not. The overall rates of recovery hover around 30% regardless of method used. AA relapse rates are no higher or lower than people attempting to remain abstinent without AA.

From the tone of the second half of your post, it's obvious you aren't interested in remaining abstinent. Consider for a moment that remaining abstinent is the only option for many of us. My years of alcohol and prescription drug abuse led me to nine medical detoxes, two rehabs and a compromised liver. So if you want to drink, I think I can safely speak for everyone here when I say go ahead and drink and see if we give a shit. Because if you want to drink, that's your business. If you want to stop, that's our business.

I take baclofen and at one point in my addiction hoped it to be a cure. It was not. A tool, yes, but not a cure.

[Mentium]

Behan seems to have had second thoughts about his post. I would guess he is drinking, but that is up to him of course. I have learnt the hard way that abstinence is my only choice, even if I find it difficult to attain that abstinence. I wish it wasn't. I wish I could drink, take a break for a day or two every two or three days and drink again. I have tried that many many times but I always end up drinking every night and my addiction is such that I can't even have one night 'off'. The relief I get from the nightly bottle or two of wine remains but the price I pay in the day time (I don't drink in the day) became more and more costly - anxiety, mental anguish and feeling more and more crappy.

Relapse rates are high for all 'methods' of course. But people do it. People stop - and I can too if I try hard enough.

[Oscar Oshannassey]

No mentium my battery run out
Im not drinkinking FFS why does every one think I'm drinking..just because i use the name malodrama
look that an annoying user name Ailfh its like WTF is THAT DUDE makes me frustrated
cant spell
look dont shut off the meds approach
AA is great but seriously its a CULT
whatever you choose

:hahaha:

Dear fellow. You really need to travel more. The problem with you is you are a few drinks behind. Reduced to fossicking for a thrill on internet forums like a hamster on a wheel. :treadmill: Good day.

[Mentium]

It certainly has cult-like qualities, but as I stated in the OP, the two longest periods of sobriety I have had were the result of attending meetings three or four times a week, meeting fellow members for a coffee occasionally and using on-line forums. Whatever it takes right?

I have bashed AA myself - and quite a lot. Always I realised the other day, when I'm in drinking mode.

(would be grateful for this thread not to descend into bickering guys.)

[NoSugar]

I've recently run across a book I wish I'd had when I quit drinking: The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking Any Habit: Amy Johnson PhD, Mark Howard PhD: 978162625231: Amazon.com: Books. Looking back, I know I made the whole process more complicated (and fraught with angst!) than it needed to be. All the best, Mentium. NS

for more information: http://dramyjohnson.com/littlebookofbigchange.pdf

[Sunbeam]

I wish you well, Mentium. AA has been very helpful for my brother, after multiple tries. It never appealed to me, but we all come in so many different packages. I think it is helpful to have some structure to look at. I found the list in my signature line filled that need when I was ready.

[aihfl]

Mentium, we had a couple of newcomers my homegroup's meeting last night, so the topic ended up being our first AA experience. Mine was awful. I tried AA at the urging of my psychiatrist, so I tried going to maybe 4-5 meetings for this group that was across the street from the neighborhood I lived in at the time. Peoples' attitudes ranged from indifference to outright hostile. I was told by several "old timers" I needed to "shut the fuck up and listen" and that I was hopeless and was never going to be sober. Those are direct quotes. I shared this last night and one man who shared after me said, "I can't believe that shit still goes on in AA today. I always assumed the old timers had no teeth because the newcomers knocked them all out." Anyway, I decided I would rather be a drunk than associated with these assholes, so I kept drinking.

Fast forward a few weeks. I was stopped by a police officer stumbling down the street. Rather than charging me with public intox she Marchman Acted me into a county-run detox facility (in Florida, the Marchman Act allows police officers and mental health professionals to involuntarily have someone under the influence of a substance committed to a detox facility or psych hospital). The first few days I was there, a man came in to run an AA meeting and I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of people in AA, based on my past experience. He just flatly asked, "Have you tried other meetings?"

After discharge from detox and rehab, I was fortunate to find an agnostic/atheist meeting and haven't looked back. It was a long road, but I did find a group of recovering alcoholics and addicts with the same values and beliefs as mine. We are a tight group of friends, and unlike a lot of groups, its membership is stable with the vast majority having one year plus of sobriety, several with multiple decades. I hope you are similarly able to find a supportive and caring group of individuals of like mind. They're out there, it just might take some digging to find them.

[lex]

Ment- please keep up with the posting! Myself and many others here value your input and we're sure to get a lot out of hearing about your newest experiences.