I'm drinking champagne but I've only had 2 and a half glasses. Thats not too much is it? I feel a bit drunk. It just shows how little i am used to drinking now, the fact that I am drunk after 2 and a half glasses!!!! But I had to have a drink as I have had so much pent up emotions running through me today. I'm still pregnant and I had my scan today. I have a 1 in 400 chance of it being downs syndrome. Thats ok I hope. The only slight problem is I have a hormone level which is a rather low and affects fetal growth, so have been advised to have a scan at 28wks to make sure placenta is functioning and baby growing properly. If not, it will have to be delivered early.
I have also had a few drags of my friends cigarette. I know that i will wake up tomorrow and regret drinking and smoking. But, I am not having too much. My friend has gone now and there is no more to drink in the house. I'll be okay, I'm sure. But, i am really remembering how I felt when I drank a few months ago. Its a very false feeling. My brain is affected by this poison and I'm not sure i really like it that much. I feel a bit out of control. The devil in me is wanting to get legless but I have learnt something through these months of being with MWO.....Its just not worth it.
Thankyou my dear friends for being there for me.
Bella xxxxx
P.S. It is obvious to me I still have a big problem with alcohol, as I have noticed reading this through that I have spent more time talking about drink than I have my precious baby. I need to avoid A at all cost. xxx
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