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    #61
    Good afternoon Troopers!!

    Hiya! to Satz and Pauly!!

    At work today and have a few minutes to post between phone calls and e-mails. I know I've been absent since Monday and have only just now read back over the posts and wanted to add my thoughts to what you have said. Warning!!! – LONG POST!!!

    First of all, let me add that my lack of posting mostly has to do with the time difference factor and the fact that for the past few months, with my new-found sober energy, I have been getting up earlier and going to bed earlier in the evenings and my hours are a little out of whack with the times that the rest of the Army are posting. Funny enough, it's the days that I'm at the store that I find I can manage to spend some time here. At home, there is always something that needs doing besides the work that I do for our business from home. Also, the past couple of weeks there have been a few “incidents” in my personal life that have left me a little worried and anxious and I really haven’t felt that I’ve anything positive to say so I just kept it to myself. Anyway, I will try consciously to take time to post. After all, this site is where it all started towards my getting sober, even if it did take me years to finally manage it.


    Originally posted by JackieClaire View Post
    I've got to work today so I'm just going to leave some questions

    Has the Army had its day? If so where do we go from here or how do we revive it?

    Is MWO on a whole fading away? If so how do we revive it?
    I don't know that MWO as a whole is fading away because I don't read the other threads. Only ever glance at the Steppers once in a while to see how some other members are doing in their sobriety. It gives me great satisfaction to see others, such as NoraC, who, like myself, struggled for a long time and has now managed to stay AF for a good length of time. I don't read other threads although I did stop by one of the meds threads for a read a while ago and left running as fast as I could.
    What I have seen, in the little that I do read, is that there are very, very few new members posting and I noticed that there are by far fewer responses than there would have been some years ago from the regular posters. I'm not sure what this is due to but it may be that because many of the posters have been here for a long time and perhaps they are, like most of us, content posting where they do regularly and don't venture much onto the other threads.

    Originally posted by Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB) View Post
    Personally I would be sad if the army retired. I think MWO is a lifeline for many people, whose knows who comes to the site and reads when everything seems so dark and gains solace from the fact they are not alone out there.
    I agree with what Tabbers says but what I'm wondering is if those people who are feeling the darkness and the desperation, see what they need to see when they read the posts here. They are different than they used to be. There is more an air of "close friends' club" on some of the threads, including the Army, and some people may be put off by that, may feel that they can't join in or wouldn't be welcome or wonder just how to actually join a thread where everybody knows each other so well. I’m not saying that as criticism, it’s just that most of the members both here and on the Steppers’ thread, have known each other for years and years, some of you have even met up and even met other member’s families. We all keep up to date on what each other’s kids are up to – who’s getting married, who’s travelling to what country, who got a new job/boyfriend/car, etc. A newbie or visitor might find it daunting, to say the least, to start posting where everyone knows each other so well. And another thing, if you’re seeking help for your drinking problem, there is very little discussion of that on the threads I’ve read. Don’t know about the Loamers’, but here for example, most of the members are AF and have been for months to years. The “when I was drinking” has faded into the past. There is no talk of what it was like, how desperate we were to find help and how we got sober. That’s what new members/visitors need to see IMVHO so that they feel a connection with us. They need to see, in writing, what we all know as part of our past. It’s a part of their present and the reason they are looking for help and landed here at MWO. Just my two cents worth but I think it’s valid. So, what Satz says below echoes what I’m saying here. With the exception that in the past, no one had to ASK for people’s advice and support – it was given. As soon as a new person posted – there were responses. And I, myself, am guilty of not giving enough support/advice to new posters. Yes, we can get bored. And sometimes we take the time to answer a new member and get no response from them which is also frustrating.
    Originally posted by satz123 View Post
    I agree with both Mick & Tabbs but the Army are not exactly doling out a lot of advice these days. We need everyone to share or it will fade away when one or two of the 'regulars' doesn't post for whatever reason.

    The long term sober regulars are there to help and give the newer people their invaluable experience without judgement - if this is not asked for - they get bored.
    So if everyone takes part then we can inject some life back into the thread. This thread needs work to survive.

    Debates or disagreements are healthy imo - and add some life & passion.
    So I don't agree with this part Mick :egad:- the Army has been a safe haven for years - but we still do not get posts.
    are people not saying anything for fear of getting into arguments .../hassle as has been the case recently?if you look at the views across the boards ..there are still some pretty high numbers viewing them all ,but posts are pretty low

    In the days of lively discussions the boards were BUZZING !!
    This is my opinion - but me giving the weather forecast in Ireland - is not helping anyone.
    I think it’s more a fact of not knowing where to go (except for the Newbie’s Nest) to post and where to after that? You can’t stay in the Nest forever, no matter how comfortable it may seem. People who are getting and staying sober need to move on and find other places to post. What NS says below also echoes what I’ve just said about the “closed club” part and also about us posting our experiences getting and staying sober. We need to emphasize to those just starting out that no matter how long we’ve been sober, we were once where they are. At day 1. And that no matter how many months or years we’ve been sober, we know exactly what they’re going through and we can help because we know what it takes. And we need to share that with others to show that it can be done.
    For the record, I don’t think people are NOT stating their opinions for fear of getting into arguments. For the most part, the members who were causing the uproars (putting it mildly) have left and I doubt they will be back.


    Originally posted by NoSugar View Post
    There are so many well-advertised alternative forums, it probably isn't surprising there aren't many new people. Without them, people at later stages have no reason to write about why and how to quit, as you guys said above. I think that is where continuing to participate in a forum helps as time goes on - when we organize our thoughts to write to others and put them out there - we're recommitting ourselves. That opportunity is rare now. We no longer have a critical mass of people at various stages of quitting so the energy is really draining out. NS
    Originally posted by IamMary View Post
    Lots of food for thought.
    If all the groups are struggling a bit we could trial a United group- even do it for a week. It's not like we don't read each other's posts anyway from time to time. . I know it's comfortable here and there and lots of us would be way to shy to just rock into another group - safety in numbers maybe.
    All we need is one good thread.
    Mary, I think the threads are fine, we just ALL need to reiterate why we landed at MWO and why we are still here. We do get caught up in our everyday lives and sharing that with others, which is a good thing, but we still need to emphasize that this is a forum for alcoholics and that needs to once again be our main focus. As Satz says, the weather forecast for Ireland might help Molly decide if she’s going to work in her garden but it won’t help anyone get sober.
    Originally posted by JackieClaire View Post
    Evening, I was a bit wary of those questions this morning but they've sparked off a good old debate as when I went to bed last night I was thinking to myself how very sad I would be if MWO faded away........its brought me so much over the years. But I think its happening whether we want it to or not.

    Another thing that crossed my mind are the like and thank you features. Its lovely to get them but back in the day you'd more than likely get a reply.

    Sorry, I'm in a bit of a reflective mood.
    Again, I agree about the LIKE/THANK feature – we used to get more responses to our posts in the past. Although I do have to admit I like getting “LIKES” cause a lot of them are from Mr. G and after all, he is one of the few gents here at MWO. :makeup:

    Hopefully catch up with youz later in the evening.
    For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
    AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

    Comment


      #62
      Great summary, Stirly. I think you speak for many of us. And it is hard not to get a little too attached to thanks and likes like you said:
      Although I do have to admit I like getting “LIKES” cause a lot of them are from Mr. G and after all, he is one of the few gents here at MWO
      I try NOT to look at that little notification thing when I sign on. In fact, I tried to find a way for it not to show up but couldn't figure it out. So, I see it and am drawn to look to see who absolutely adores me :wink:
      Originally posted by kuya
      Plus I feel obliged to like or thank RATHER than just read and reply. There can be a great point made but if it doesn't recieve a 'like' the poster may feel their point wasn't valid.
      I agree, Kuya. The buttons have raised expectations. I don't usually like/thank if I reply directly but I do find myself using one or both so the person knows I agree with or appreciate what they said. Because the buttons are available and so easy to use, it seems like not 'liking' or 'thanking' is almost Not Liking or Not Thanking. Of course that isn't the case but sometimes it feels that way. Not having the option was just so much better. Then, a person could respond when they (hopefully) had a contribution to make to the conversation; no one expected all of their posts to be directly replied to in the same way they might expect/want to receive thanks and likes.
      Originally posted by satz123 View Post
      [Let's put a ban on Likes / Thanks and LET'S REPLY ???
      The Army can be a Beta Thread :smile:. Let's all make the effort to post daily and not thank or like. And not get insulted if not everyone responds directly to everything we said. Maybe we'll be able to get a good conversation going.
      Originally posted by kuya
      Satzy are you guys ignoring me?
      Would that even be possible :haha:?? I bet you guys cross-posted.

      Here's my recent observation about why I'm so glad I quit. I have a grandson who lives in my town, which we are just thrilled about. We take care of him fairly often, by choice. Sometimes when he's been here awhile, I'll think about how I really wish it were time for him to go home so I could do something like take a nice long bath. I don't feel guilty about those thoughts - it is totally normal to get tired of functioning at a 15-mo old level for a long time. BUT, if I were wishing he weren't around so I could drink... The thought just makes me sick. I am so grateful to have gotten rid of this millstone before he and his cousin were even thought about. So if there is anyone reading this who is wondering whether to quit -- GO FOR IT! Nothing bad comes from quitting but good things that you've not even thought of will!

      Have a good weekend! :heart: NS

      Comment


        #63
        Afternoon all..
        Great posts today!! My 2 cents on posting..

        I dont know if we should BAN the buttons altogether, they do server a purpose if used properly. Like in the real world, we might nod and agree non verbally to someones point, but then another person makes another comment and the conversation turns slightly. To me, the like button is that Nod (good point, yep completely agree)..

        The other reason I find them useful, is if I am scanning through a thread and I see millions of likes and thanks on a particular post, I know its going to be worth reading!

        Absolutely agree they are overused.

        On Quoting - not always easy to do if your working from a phone, but agree the reference makes it easier for the reader.
        AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

        Comment


          #64
          Originally posted by NoSugar View Post

          Here's my recent observation about why I'm so glad I quit. I have a grandson who lives in my town, which we are just thrilled about. We take care of him fairly often, by choice. Sometimes when he's been here awhile, I'll think about how I really wish it were time for him to go home so I could do something like take a nice long bath. I don't feel guilty about those thoughts - it is totally normal to get tired of functioning at a 15-mo old level for a long time. BUT, if I were wishing he weren't around so I could drink... The thought just makes me sick. I am so grateful to have gotten rid of this millstone before he and his cousin were even thought about. So if there is anyone reading this who is wondering whether to quit -- GO FOR IT! Nothing bad comes from quitting but good things that you've not even thought of will!

          Have a good weekend! :heart: NS
          So true NS.

          I am having kids over later this evening. No WAY I would have agreed to that 12 months ago. After 5 O'Clock, I would make sure I had no reason to get behind that wheel.
          For the last few years I've had this dream that by the time my kids were teenagers, they would not associate wine with their mam, then they couldnt copy me. That is a huge motivator when I have dodgy moments.
          AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

          Comment


            #65
            Originally posted by kuya
            Satzy are you guys ignoring me? And if you are can I ask WHY???

            Did I do or say something to make me invisible ?

            If I did then let's hear about it, out in the open
            See Kuya - if we didnt have a BAN the BUTTONS campaign going on, we would all have thanked and liked you enormously and you wouldn't have felt ignored
            AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

            Comment


              #66
              Originally posted by paulywogg View Post
              I "like" that idea Satz
              Thank you Pauly

              Comment


                #67
                Originally posted by kuya
                Satzy are you guys ignoring me? And if you are can I ask WHY???

                Did I do or say something to make me invisible ?

                If I did then let's hear about it, out in the open
                Dear Ms Paranoia
                The answer is definitely NO I am not ignoring you.
                This was a cross post

                Comment


                  #68
                  So........ who am I liking, thanking,replying to and ignoring Just tell me what to do I'm tired.

                  I always remember thinking I had to get my act together as I had this image banging round my brain of me as mother of the bride falling sideways into the wedding cake.........and now I won't ( if they ever set a date)
                  It could be worse, I could be filing.
                  AF since 7/7/2009

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Well - just popped in to say nighty night

                    Comment


                      #70
                      And just popped back to say

                      Comment


                        #71
                        morning folks ...quick jump in to say hello...Satzy ..Saturday mornin at this time...and you come up with a smiley good morning brew?

                        have a great day folks
                        af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12

                        Comment


                          #72
                          Morning Mick and Satz...

                          Love love love Saturdays with a clear head.
                          That coffees prob cold by now Satz, off for a refill..
                          AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:

                          Comment


                            #73
                            Morning lovelies,
                            Had a lie in and wish I hadn't.........had the most awful dream/nightmare.

                            Dreamt that I was in a competition where you had to make a one meal with a theme.......Everyone else did fine but I decided to make 3........and one was macaroni cheese that just wouldn't go into the serving dish............so it went all over the table..........

                            Now any of you dream interpreters out there?
                            It could be worse, I could be filing.
                            AF since 7/7/2009

                            Comment


                              #74
                              Originally posted by JackieClaire View Post
                              Morning lovelies,
                              Had a lie in and wish I hadn't.........had the most awful dream/nightmare.

                              Dreamt that I was in a competition where you had to make a one meal with a theme.......Everyone else did fine but I decided to make 3........and one was macaroni cheese that just wouldn't go into the serving dish............so it went all over the table..........

                              Now any of you dream interpreters out there?
                              Good morning Army!!

                              About to have a second cup of coffee myself, now that it's 12:30. Looks like most peeps are busy today, it being Saturday. Personally, I'm at work with Grandson Peter for my helper today.

                              Jackie - that dream can only mean one thing - that you don't cook today. Either you order in or you go out for a chipper. inkele:

                              Off to get that coffee....
                              For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
                              AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

                              Comment


                                #75
                                Just talking to Mr JC and we're having pizza
                                It could be worse, I could be filing.
                                AF since 7/7/2009

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