Army Gates open for the 3rd week of May!

[IamMary]

Morning lovelies and a interesting question to start the day




I'm sure it can be done as the main point of us getting sober is for ourselves.........getting our partners on board is an extra bonus. Mr JC's a bit like that nigh on cut back completely in the house but still enjoys his nights out with the 'boys'............but when I was drinking he would drink along side me every night and as you say that was mainly because I was doing the pouring.

You know your alcohol consumption was a problem before you came here...........think ahead a few years when the your children are a lot more independent..........I'm trying to say if you hadn't stopped now you may and probably been way out of control. I can feel some empathy as once my kids started getting the school bus, getting public transport all bets were off and my drinking went off the scale..........to a point I needed proper medical help.

Now then because you have addressed this now ..........rather than your little darlings finding you face down on the sofa when they get in from school they're going to grow up with a mother not drinking and a father that has cut back significantly.

Talk to him, Mary. Tell him why you're doing this. Tell him you miss the chats over the cooking. Open up about how much you are gaining from your new lifestyle.

Oh and I found this on the tinter web

How to stop resenting my partner's drinking - alcohol relationships sober | Ask MetaFilter

Thanks JC.
It does not bothering me most of the time. Actually I often feel sorry for him that he has to hump these bottles of beer home (as they no longer come in the shopping), have occasional hangovers and get rid of the bottles after..
When we talk, the beer goes into the shed, so j just smell it. Beer breath is a massive turn off and i have overdramatic about it!
I suppose the chats have moved to our bedroom which he's renovating at the moment, at my request!

It's not really a complaint, I am plodding along happily in my sober world, it's more a concern, are the odds stacked against me.

[IamMary]

Mers Mr S has not stopped at all. He doesn't drink at home ever.

It is quite difficult - specially on holiday on our own.
I usually have to go back to hotel or sit in a pub all night.
Without the drink in common when we do go out - I have found we need to look for other things of interest to do. Tough one after all these years.

And there we differ Satz. Mr M rarely goes to the pub. He's a shed man, always has a project on the go and a beer to consider things..

[JackieClaire]

Thanks JC.
It's not really a complaint, I am plodding along happily in my sober world, it's more a concern, are the odds stacked against me.

Straight answer..........if you keep asking questions and doing what you're doing..........extremely unlikely.

[IamMary]

Straight answer..........if you keep asking questions and doing what you're doing..........extremely unlikely.

:hugesmile:
I suppose that all I want to hear!!

[IamMary]

I boldly thanked you all. That's the rebel streak in me :biglaugh:

must fly.. Football match. Thanks for all the chat and links, will read more at the side line.

[satz123]

Thanks JC.
It does not bothering me most of the time. Actually I often feel sorry for him that he has to hump these bottles of beer home (as they no longer come in the shopping), have occasional hangovers and get rid of the bottles after..
When we talk, the beer goes into the shed, so j just smell it. Beer breath is a massive turn off and i have overdramatic about it!
I suppose the chats have moved to our bedroom which he's renovating at the moment, at my request!

It's not really a complaint, I am plodding along happily in my sober world, it's more a concern, are the odds stacked against me.

I hope that was said tongue in cheek - the feeling sorry Mers :egad:
But I know what you mean - there is the tiny guilt trip that we've left them on their own high & dry ..... after years of being a drinking team.

No the odds are stacked in your favour Mers - who the feck wants to drink beer in a shed
The beer breath is a difficult one to tackle though - good luck with that :haha:

[NoSugar]

I boldly thanked you all. That's the rebel streak in me :biglaugh:

But you also REPLIED! Doing both is the best of all, I think.

A week ago, I would have simply have 'liked' Spiderwoman, JC, and Satz but our conversation is driving me to take a couple minutes and say I like what they said.

Spidey - the contrast between my husband and me became stark. I became very sneaky and dishonest, hoping he wouldn't notice.
JC- you're so right that we finally have to quit for ourselves. The fact that it improves everyone's life is a big bonus!
Satz - your comment about who wants to drink beer in a shed cracked me up. But the fact is, that's a step or two up from drinking cheap wine directly from the spout of the box in a corner of a dark kitchen. Whenever I start to romanticize a glass of wine, I force myself to imagine what I must have looked like doing that. It might not sound like much of a rock bottom but it makes me remember how low my self confidence and self image had gone - no way do I want to go back to that!

[IamMary]

I hope that was said tongue in cheek - the feeling sorry Mers :egad:

Forgot my

Satz - your comment about who wants to drink beer in a shed cracked me up. But the fact is, that's a step or two up from drinking cheap wine directly from the spout of the box in a corner of a dark kitchen. Whenever I start to romanticize a glass of wine, I force myself to imagine what I must have looked like doing that. It might not sound like much of a rock bottom but it makes me remember how low my self confidence and self image had gone - no way do I want to go back to that!

I keep those images stored up for when ever I think 'I wasn't that bad'. Sunday afternoon now, I should be tucking into the first bottle. I still have remind myself not to lie when someone suggests calling over later in the evening, takes a while to get used to not having anything to hide!

[JackieClaire]

takes a while to get used to not having anything to hide!

Try hiding shoes.........my shoe addiction went into overdrive when I went AF.

Lovely day, proper roast lamb dinner and a big trip to the garden centre. Got masses of stuff including black pansies......they look like velvet.......:heartbeat:

Trouble is it turned windy and a bit chilly so left Mr JC to plant his stuff out and came indoors.

[NoSugar]

I sometimes still forget that I can make a post-5 pm plan, too !

[IamMary]

Evening.. Having my post 10pm free time..

Bought plants yesterday too but it will be tomorrow before they are potted. Major construction going on in the bedroom and I and putting up with every grumble because I can't wait for more closet space! Losing bedroom space, but sure who needs space when shoes and clothes are practically homeless.
I love decorating. :heartbeat:

[satz123]

I sometimes still forget that I can make a post-5 pm plan, too !

I too am amazed at being able to volunteer to pick or drop someone after 5pm
Also I notice I still get a small flash of panic when Mr S says he's going to the boot of my car to get something ( that's where bottles were stashed before going to bottle bank ) :egad:

[NoraC]

Started to like a couple of posts but then thought better of it. :victorious:

I have a couple of very vivid images in my head too. I only started drinking hard stuff because those were easier for me to hide. Who cared how bad it was to chug it down straight from the bottle night after night. Oh geez..........
I had a flash of panic just a couple of days ago when hubby & I were looking around for something in the bedroom. I thought to myself - is there a bottle hidden in my crochet basket!?!?!

[NoSugar]

Remember that "where I hid my stash thread"? I honestly thought I was the only person on the planet who did such stuff. It made such a difference not to feel so broken, flawed, and alone.

[NoraC]

I can remember just a few years ago when I just couldn't even imagine doing that. Boy, did that change. :thatswhack::disgust: