Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[abcowboy]

It's Thanksgiving Day in Canada, there is so much I could say, but I'm only going to say what was in my heart when I first woke up this morning...

Dear Lord; There are so many things that I am thankful for, but I just wanted to take a moment to thank You for all the blessings You have bestowed upon me throughout my life. And to thank You for being there for me when I needed You most...

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[jane27]

Your seat is saved Cowboy!

[abcowboy]

One day at a time, we hear and read those words so often, but what do they really mean to us?

It’s true that we can’t do much about yesterday or tomorrow, all we can live for is today. Just get through this day the best we can. But does it end there, I don’t think so. There is so much more to it, especially early in recovery.

When we decided enough is enough, the booze has to go, does it end there? No, it’s just the beginning! Recovery isn’t something to take lightly, it’s something you have to work at, every single day, especially early in your recovery. Whatever you’re using as support, you have to visit it every day. It’s not a matter of getting up in the morning and going through your day reminding yourself what it is you’re trying to accomplish, then not worry about it for a few days or even a week or two, or maybe it is that easy for you. It sure wasn’t for me! I needed daily reminders, daily support, to get through the day. That changes over time, the daily “work” is replaced by daily “gratitude”, thankful to be where I am today.

So remind yourself, if you really want to beat this thing, hold on to your support, visit it every single day! There is no such thing as “I’m too busy” or “I don’t have time”, you always found the time to drink didn’t you? You have to spend as much time on your recovery as you spent on your drinking, and possibly even a bit more! Your recovery is the most important thing in the world, don’t take it lightly and never forget it...

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[Snoopy56]

Just want to say again how much I appreciate your posts, your journey, your sobriety. Thank you for taking the time to post.

[abcowboy]

Okay, October 14th yesterday and our first major snowfall and blizzard hit us! We got about a foot of snow at the farm and roughly 8” here in town, so I have a date with a snow shovel this morning!

There have been storm warnings for yesterday for the past few days, non-essential travel not recommended, roads would be in poor too terrible driving conditions. Visibility would be poor with snow and blowing snow. The forecast and warnings were dead bang on, and it might have been a bit worse in reality! But of course I didn’t believe the weatherman and I was out at the neighbours by our farm doing a bathroom renovation. Tommy (my good friend who has the shop where everyone congregates to drink) finally decided that it was time to give in to Darlene’s pleadings for a new bathroom lol. It started snowing about 9 am, by 10 it was coming down pretty hard, and by 11 the blizzard was in full force and there wasn’t much room to park down by his shop, all the neighbours were gathering because there wasn’t much else to do. I had been down to the shop a couple of times to ask a few questions on the renovation, and wondered how they could start drinking at 10 in the morning with the weather forecast! Then I remembered, 2 years ago I would have put my tools away and joined them! That’s in the past now, I didn’t have to worry about me, but I did worry about them.

I finished what I wanted to accomplish around 2 in the afternoon, figuring I wanted to get home before the weather got any worse, but the storm was blowing in full force by then. I started the truck to warm it up and clear the windows of snow and then walked down to the shop, Contigo in one hand and thermos of coffee in the other. The boys had quite the conversations going, 11 grown men well on their way to an evening hangover, one guy drinking coffee, lol. I left at 2:30 and the normal ½ drive home turned into almost an hour drive and the truck in 4 wheel drive the whole way.

When I got home, the first thing I did was text Bubba to let her know I was at home safe and sound, the next thing was to let Hank out to do his business, and the third thing was to thank God for my sobriety and a short prayer that the others would get home safely somehow. They are like I used to be, thought nothing of driving through anything no matter how much I had to drink.

It doesn’t matter if today is your first day sober, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve tried to get a quit that sticks, it matters that you are trying. Think about all the lives affected yesterday because someone chose to drink, and even drove after, and be grateful that it wasn’t you….

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[abcowboy]

On drinking thoughts and dreams, I think that we all get them from time to time, at least I do, and I think they are normal. It's how we act upon them is what makes us who we are. I went to Lloydminster the other day to pick up material and have a coffee with LL, and as I was driving by a hotel they had a big billboard out front to advertise drink specials in their Irish pub for the opening of the NHL season. My thought turned to how nice it would be to sit in the pub and enjoy a pint or two of one of the many new draft beer that are one the market nowadays while watching the Oilers on the big screen. I knew I wouldn't act on it, but I didn't think it was a big deal so I moved my thoughts onto more important and pressing things. If I would have dwelled on that drinking thought it would have lead me to more "I wishes" so I just moved on.

And it’s no different than drinking dreams, I have them from time to time but I don’t let them bother me. Dwelling on things we can’t have is not good for our mental health nor for our sobriety. I don’t spend time trying to think where the thoughts and dreams come from, it’s just part of life. Society in general makes out that drinking enhances everything and we see it everywhere, everyday so it’s only natural for us to think about it from time to time. It’s when we let those thoughts and dreams consume us is when we are stepping into danger zones again. I know there will always be those drinking thoughts and dreams every now and again, but it's normal and so am I.....

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[abcowboy]

I’ve had a few pm’s over the past little while from members that were here and then left, and now they are back trying again. I thought I would post the reply I did this morning because it applies for everyone still struggling.

Hey there, nice to hear from you and great to have you back! And today is day 3, fantastic! Embarrassed? It’s not an exclusive club you know lol, we’ve all been a member of that club! Just look at the newbie’s nest, members that have been around for years and back at day one! My question is why they ever left in the first place!

Sobriety is a daily commitment, no matter how long you’ve been sober. That’s why you see the long term abstainers here everyday. It’s not just to help others, it’s also to remind ourselves where we’ve come from and how easy it is to be back there again. Just one drink is all it would take. If getting and staying sober was easy, there’d been no reason to have places like MWO, WQD, SoberRecovery, or AA.

Wow, that turned into a sermon and I didn’t want it to come out like that lol. There’s no need to feel embarrassed, you’re back and giving it another shot and that’s all that really matters! As far as the key to your AV’s cage goes, no need to give it to me, just break it in half, and do the same with all the spares you have lol. I'll be here for you and help however I can, but it’s up to you to do the work.

Bruce

I’ll never give up on anyone who really wants to be sober, I’ll help and support however I can, through the threads, pm’s, email, instant messaging, texts, or even phone calls. But you have to take the first step and then be prepared to do the work.

[abcowboy]

I was reading in the nest and saw where Justme Again mentioned that they told two friends about quitting drinking and it reminded me of a discussion Bubba and I had not that long ago.

When I first tried quitting I went to AA of course, not realizing that there were so many other options available. Anyway, my first meeting I got my 24 Hour coin and when I got home I drilled a small hole in it and put it on my key ring. It’s still there even though I haven’t been to an AA meeting in 2 years. I keep it there as a reminder that I just have to get through today. Of course my truck needs servicing quite often, new tires every so often, and a new windshield just the other day. When I dropped it off at the glass shop the other morning, Bubba picked me up and drove me back home. She asked if I used my spare key to leave with the truck, I told her it was just my regular set. She looked surprised and asked me if I did that all the time my truck went in for work. I told her that I always did that and then she asked if I was worried about what people would think when they saw my AA coin! I said no, does it worry you? She looked at me dumbfounded but didn’t say anything.

I’m not sure why I never even thought what people would say when or if they saw the coin, it just didn’t matter to me. I’m sure most of the people in town knew what a drunk I was so letting them see that I’m doing something about it seems just fine…..

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[janessa642]

solid post.. thanks

[abcowboy]

You ever have one of those days where you felt like you were just spinning your wheels? Busy all day long but got very little accomplished? My whole week was like that! The days and evenings flew by last week but looking back, I’m not satisfied with what I accomplished. Ya, I got done what I had set out for the week, but feel like I could have gotten more done. Strange, I set a goal for myself last week, accomplished that goal, but still not satisfied?

When I was drinking, I didn’t care what I got done, except for getting drunk, that was the most important goal everyday. Now I have so many productive hours in the day I’m not happy unless I’m being productive, and to a small business owner, that’s important, or at least the banker thinks so lol. I think often times I set goals for myself that I can’t reach, just to make sure that I have no idle time. I should remind myself that it’s okay to have a week like this past one. I finished the things I had to do, got the invoicing done so that there’s money coming in, and even found some Hank time! What more could I ask of myself....

[abcowboy]

Sometimes I’m not sure how much I should post about my belief in God lest I offend people, but this morning I’m going to do a post about just that.

Earlier this morning, Bubba shared an online video with me about how atheism is a delusion, at least that is the opinion of the people making the video. And I’ve always said that trying to get people to believe in God is like trying to get an alcoholic sober. I think atheism is a religion all on its own, just like all the other religions. I believe that no matter what religion you are, we all believe in the same God, we just portray that God in different ways. And there are many different names and symbols for God, and it’s not for me to say if any one of them is the right one. What I do know is that the God that I believe in gave me the strength that I needed to get and stay sober.

Then I read TJ’s post in the Newbie’s Nest and got thinking about all the tragedies that happen everyday in the world. What kind of God would let that happen? These things that happen sure test my beliefs. But as I read TJ’s post, the first thought I had was that God has something very important planned for TJ’s son, or maybe even for TJ and his wife. Why did that enter my mind when reading about the horrific accident? Because it’s what I believe. Everything happens for a reason, and we all fall into God’s plan in one way or another. I don’t know how or when that plan will affect us individually, I just know it will. Just as I know that I will never drink again.

I’m not afraid of sharing what God has done for me, and I’m not trying to convince anyone that God is the answer for all of life’s problems. Just one look at my past will prove that God and religion were the farthest things from my mind. And I still don’t believe in “religion” or the “church”, but I do believe in God. People can change, their beliefs can change, but nobody can change these things for them, it is up to each individual….. I know, because it happened to me….

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[Guitarista]

I think often times I set goals for myself that I can’t reach, just to make sure that I have no idle time. I should remind myself that it’s okay to have a week like this past one. I finished the things I had to do, got the invoicing done so that there’s money coming in, and even found some Hank time! What more could I ask of myself....

What's that saying again? Something like......Reach for the stars, no probs if you fall short, you'll still reach the moon........

Keep it going AB.

[abcowboy]

I think we're both shooting for what's the right thing for us G-Man!

[Wilson1]

ABC - thank you for sharing your thoughts about your God. God can be many different things to each of us. Nevertheless, if we each can believe in something bigger and better than ourselves, we soon get onto living and enjoying a much greater life.

[abcowboy]

So true Wilson, a God of your own understanding, Higher Power, or whatever you like to believe in...