Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[abcowboy]

Daughter dearie #2 is home this week from Vancouver and surprised us with her spontaneous visit! Oh to be young and carefree again lol. We were talking last night about my sobriety and how it’s going. She mentioned that I seem much happier and good natured and she's proud of me for finally quitting for good.

Today I thought about what she said and realized that I am much happier and good natured now. Ya, when I was drinking I was mostly a happy drunk, the life of the party, till I had the next drink that made me cross the line. I became an angry, argumentative, belligerent drunk! The worse thing was that I didn’t care! Talk about a false happiness, it only took one more drink to turn that happiness into ugliness. The only kind of happiness that can be found in the bottom of a bottle is the worst kind of happiness.

I remember my dad telling me that happiness was only a state of mind, you make your own happiness by what you think and feel. It took me a lot of years to finally figure out what he was telling me. So the next time you’re down in the dumps and reach for the drink that you think will make you happy, just remember, that false happiness will only last a short while and it’ll be followed by guilt and shame…..

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[Inthesky]

Hey Cowboy,
Thank you so much for this I needed this today so I can remember AL doesn't make me happy and that I'm genuinely a good person and ALOT happier without it in my life. I also know I've needed to do this for along time. I feel fortunate to have you all here and my family and friends that want to help me and Mr. S finally put this behind us and get control of our lives again. I'm taking a different approach this time just focusing on one 24 hour period at a time. Before I didn't set limitations on myself they were more general like 1 week, a month, 100 days etc. Again thanks for the reminder.

[abcowboy]

That what I do Sky as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Every morning when I wake up, even before I’m out of bed, I say the “Our Father”, then as I’m having my coffee and reflection time I read some motivational quotes, and look at inspirational images, then I do my daily posts on the forums I belong to, like the 24 Hour Club. 24 hours is what we all live for, nothing more or nothing less. Of course we all want to live happy, long lives but the only way we can do that is by going through the next 24 hours without drinking. It seems pretty simple if you look at it that way, but we all know it isn’t. We can have temptations and cravings hit us throughout the day and when it happens to me, I just look up and ask for the strength and courage to get through these 24 hours.

In the evening I make sure that I acknowledge something that I’m grateful for and just before I turn out the light at bedtime, I finish the day with the “Our Father”. Why does this work for me? I don’t know, but it’s like Robert's Rules of Black Boxes, if it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it.

We all wake up hoping to get through the day sober and we all are only 1 drink away from starting over, so all we really have to do is get through today.

[abcowboy]

Geez, I’ve really been in a blahzy mood for awhile now, I’m going to blame it on the weather, it’s been nothing but clouds, rain, snow, and cool temps for the past month. Very unusual for our part of the world. Almost enough to drive a man to drinking...almost lol.

So I figured it was up to me to do something about it! After spending a long tiring day at my son and dil’s yesterday changing out the boiler for their heating and dhw system, I took today off, turned up the tunes, cleaned the shop and then both inside and outside of the truck! Some lively music and a clean truck lifted my spirits!

Music is a wonderful thing! I remember when I was drinking that I listened to sad, depressing songs, they seemed to fit my mood. Since getting sober I’ve cleaned all those songs from my playlist and only listen to fast, upbeat, roll on down the highway songs now, and it did wonders for me today. Music can soothe the soul!

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[lloydlady]

Hi ABC! I haven't been online at either forum for the past little while and I was also shocked to see that the Cue is shutting down on Jan 1st. I see that you posted SoberRecovery and MyWayOut as alternatives to the members at the Cue. Maybe some of them will join here and help MyWayOut grow. Snuck on at coffee break so I better get back to coffee haha.

[mario]

Great thread abcowboy, very inspiring .

[Mr Vervill]

Good to see you around Mario, I've been thinking about you.

[Rusty]

Mario, SOOOO Good to see you! :happy2::yay:

[Rusty]

Mario, you were SOOOO good to me when I first came on here and when I was struggling...thank you for being there for me. :heartbeat:Been sober several years now. Life is good. :-)

How are YOU??? Please give us an update!!!

[abcowboy]

Thanks Mario, I just write down my thoughts hoping they might help someone still struggling. Great to have you back!

[mario]

Mario, you were SOOOO good to me when I first came on here and when I was struggling...thank you for being there for me. :heartbeat:Been sober several years now. Life is good. :-)

How are YOU??? Please give us an update!!!

Hi rusty, nice to see you still around ,and that your doing well,

I am still fighting the fight in a happy way and from a height of inner strength, Life for me is good, Anyway I don't want to derail this inspiring thread about me, I hope to be around now so we will catch up with each other no doubt.

[abcowboy]

Commitment, something we all do just about every day of our lives, we commit to something or someone. When I married Bubba, I made a commitment to her, that I would love, honour, and respect her for the rest of our lives. I also made another commitment, that I’d be committed to both her and her family. So here I sit in another medical clinic waiting room after driving my father-in-law into Edmonton again for another specialist appointment. Like my commitment to Bubba, I knew that the commitment I made would be trying at times, would sometimes make me wonder why I made the commitment in the first place. The answer is simple for me, along with commitment comes responsibility.

Just like when I made a commitment to myself and my loved ones to quit drinking, sometimes I wondered if I made the right decision. Times like these make me look at myself, the new man I’ve become, happy to take on the responsibility of staying true to my commitment. Quitting drinking is like any other commitment we make, if we’re not ready to follow through and be responsible, we shouldn’t have made it in the first place. So when you find yourself at day 1, stay committed to the promise you made yourself. If you never count another day, it really doesn’t matter. If you are committed to your day 1, you should never need another…..

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[abcowboy]

Geez, this harvest is never going to wrap up, rained again all day today! So frustrating for me, I can’t even think what the farm boss is going through. Well,right now he and the other workers are going through a bottle of rum lol, I left before the booze hit the shop table!

We combined late last night, shut down at midnight. Earlier in the evening I got to thinking about having a beer! But not my regular old kind of beer, one of the new Bud Prohibition 0%. It was very dusty and dry and I think that’s why the thought came over me. I opened a SanPel and let the thought pass.

It’s amazing how those thoughts can hit us, suddenly, no real reason, but they come. It goes to show how strong our AV is. I know that even a 0% beer would not be good for me, but the thought came nonetheless.

Anyway, the whole thing was a reminder to always be prepared for when those thoughts come, you can get through them….

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[abcowboy]

My thoughts are jumping all over the place this morning, so forgive me if this post doesn’t have a “flow” to it. I email, message, and talk to a few people trying to help them stay on their path, trying to find that ever elusive quit that sticks. I hear so often people say that AA is the final straw for them, if nothing else works, they’ll give AA a shot. And I was no different, I would use every resource I could find before I tried counselling, AA, or rehab! Even if it meant white-knuckling it from one slip to the next!

So let's go back 30 years, no internet, no recovery forums, no instant messaging, no Facebook, no smartphones. What options for quitting drinking were there? The 3 that most people use as a last resort, and yet those 3 resources helped millions of people get and stay sober!

Most of you know that I tried AA and didn’t much care for it, and my homegroup was pretty laid back as far as AA goes. Maybe because I live in a small rural town of 4500, our group wasn’t as rigid in the AA program as others. Anyway, it didn’t fit with me. But I did make some friends who went through what I was going through, and some who were in the same boat as me, quit, slip, quit, slip, etc, etc. But AA gave me hope, if they could do it so could I. And it gave me phone numbers of friends I could call when the going got rough. People who genuinely cared about me and were willing to go the extra mile to help me.

And so comes the old saying, if nothing changes, nothing changes. If you tried everything but the dreaded 3, why not give one of those a try? You have nothing to lose and an entire new life to gain, and maybe make some new friends along the way!

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[madonmehndi]

[Quote So I came back to MWO hoping I might be able to help, to offer support, and share what I’ve been doing to stay sober, and not just stay sober, but enjoy a sober life. If you want the same, you have to be willing to give it your all, no running to the bottle when things get tough, no looking for an excuse or reason to drink when you think life is unfair, no looking for sympathy, hugs, and pats on the back when you slip because you found another reason to drink. There is no reason or excuse strong enough if you really want to quit drinking and stay quit!

So why not make the commitment today, and that’s what it really is, a firm commitment. A commitment to yourself that from this day forward you’re going to be the person you want to be, a person who will gain back the respect and love that they lost in the bottom of a bottle. It really is your choice, you can quit and stay quit, or you can look for another excuse. The choice is pretty simple in my book.]

Thank you for this G, I have been playing at quitting for the last 5 years or so but no more, I WANT a sober life and by God I am going to give it my all this time, I am so determined that I am not going to allow myself any excuses this time, I want my life back!