Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[JackieClaire]

Happy Birthday and Happy second anniversary for yesterday, AB.:welldone:

[kuya]

Congratulations ABC ---- well done on your two years---- Keep on trucking!

[paulywogg]

Cowboy, huge congratulations on 2 years AF!!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Happy Birthday AB, what better way to celebrate than by giving yourself the priceless gift of another year sober, I am truly delighted for you. You can add me to the long list of people who love reading your words of wisdom.

[abcowboy]

Thank you everyone! And now I want y’all to reach around and give yourselves a pat on the back and say to yourself “I’m glad I was able to help cowboy get his two years in”.

And I really mean that, everyone one of you have played a part in my successful quit, even the person who joined a couple of days ago and started their own journey. Sure their were times when I was jealous, even angry, but looking back I realize that all the posts had an effect on me, it was up to me to make it a positive effect. Reading and posting here everyday keeps the commitment to staying AF at front and center of my mind, it’s the best way I can think of for starting my day, sharing with friends who have walked in the same shoes, walking together on this road to recovery….

[lifechange]

Congratulations on 2 years of sobriety, AB! I am so happy for you and for all of us who are finding our way to a better life.. Thank you for all you do around here.. you've been a strong source of support for me.

[Snoopy56]

Two years AF, Wonderful, congrats, your life has changed for the better in all ways.
:goodjob::thumbsup::sohappy::applouse:

[lloydlady]

Congratulations ABC :hug:

[mario]

Hi ABcowboy how you doing ? hope your ok as i miss your insightful intelligent posts, they help me as well as many others here get through our day.

[starty]

Congratulations to the one who always remembers our milestones even when we dont, who offers constant support and guidance when times are tough and who goes through this journey with dignity and courage. That is you ABC. Good work and thank you

[abcowboy]

Thanks again everyone! It seems I was the centre of attention for a bit last night, not to worry, I politely explained what I felt, then left it alone. And I thank everyone else for not jumping in and creating exactly what he wants, attention!

How are we supposed to handle comments and posts made by banned members? Simple – ignore, ignore, ignore! And that doesn’t necessarily mean that you should put them in your ignore list, but simply ignore any comment or post they make.

There are quite a few new members who don’t know much about these banned members and can easily become prey to them. As Nora, NS, and kuya, have said, we need to keep a watch out for these predators ourselves, and that is what they are, predators. If a banned member does the right thing and contacts the forum administrator and goes through the right channels to be re-instated, then I’m all for them getting another chance. But that’s not what happens, they just sign up under a new user name. The thing is, it wasn’t the user name that was banned, it was the person behind that user name! So, if that same person joins again under a new name, that new name should be banned as well! As the old saying goes “if you did the crime, you do the time”!

And as you can already see, these banned members come back for only one thing, attention! It doesn’t take long after coming back that their true colors start showing through, that they post only to create drama and arguments. Don’t fall into their trap, if you are quoted or even miss-quoted by them, just let it go. By replying you are giving them what they want, attention, and a way to stroke their own ego. If we all just ignore those posts, never reply, never “thank” or “like” what they post, they’ll eventually go away.

[IamMary]

Belated happy anniversary ABC!! More cake :sohappy:
Keep it up, your a legend!

[abcowboy]

Well, it’s been quite a week for this old cowboy, my muscles and joints are telling me that I’m not some spry young rodeo’er anymore! After the previous weeks of cold weather where my work was mostly service calls repairing various heating equipment, this week was back to climbing ladders and pulling wrenches. Thank goodness it’s the weekend!

And out of the blue I had my first drinking dream last night, I mean a drinking dream that seemed real, and yet in the dream I kept telling myself that it was just a dream, I wasn’t really drinking… I’m sure it had to do with the week I’ve had, I just haven’t figured out how or why. But like anything else, if I have no control over it, I have to just let it go. But when I woke up at 3:00am covered in sweat, it was a stark reminder of days gone by, and a reminder of why I never want to return to those days! I guess maybe the Big Guy was giving me a gentle reminder to not get so cocky, I’m relatively still wet behind the ears as far as sobriety goes, and I need to keep a watch out for things that get me to thinking that I’ve got this licked, we never really have it licked. And I’m ok with a reminder every now and then about the man I used to be, and the man I’ve become. Not very hard to figure out the man I want to stay….

And now I want to talk about my porn addiction just to clear the air. As I mentioned, my drinking and porn went hand in hand, whenever I drank alone, I watched porn. That was the only time I watched it. Bubba knew I watched it, but had no interest in watching it with me. I’m not sure if it was so much an addiction as my drinking was, but it was something else I needed to be watchful for when I quit drinking. I did a post a while back about the song “Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie” and how those things have left my life as well. Porn is just another one of those things that I let go of along with my drinking. It does make watching TV a bit hard, because “nudity, coarse language, scenes of sexuality, and violence” seem to be the normal for just about everything on TV now. So Bubba and I “IMDB” just about everything we want to watch and look at the Parental reviews before we watch it. I’m going to tell you there’s not much left to watch on TV if you cut out the 4 strong warnings given before each show. Nevertheless, it gives me more quiet time at home, quality time with Bubba and Hank, time to read the recovery sites, and time to reflect on me. It’s a no-brainer when given the alternative……

[abcowboy]

I hope all the members get a chance to read this as it’s a bit of a Sunday confession day for me. Sunday morning sober, no hangover, how can life be any better! Everything else seems small by comparison! I’ve really done some soul searching over the past few days, and the dream I had and some of the posts I’ve read have made me realize that my attitude has changed a bit over the past few months. I think the good Lord sent me my drinking dream to remind me not to get too cocky, I’m no better than any other member on MWO. Whether you’re still drinking, trying to moderate, using medications, or any other form of recovery method, we are all the same, trying to find a better way of life for ourselves, whatever that may be.

I have to admit that I thought that the members in the moderation section were just alcoholics in denial. I have to admit that I thought that the members in the medication section were just alcoholics trying to find “the easy way out” and not willing to do the hard work. And I have to admit that as an abstainer, I felt that was the only way out. This isn’t about the different ways to get sober, this is about what sobriety means to us as individuals.

I knew I’d never be a normal drinking person again, or be able to fool myself that I could ever moderate my drinking. Why? Because I didn’t drink for the taste, I didn’t drink to be social, I drank to get drunk! And nothing will change that. But just because I can’t, doesn’t mean everyone can’t, but I wanted everyone to be like me, you can’t have just one. And I would be jealous of anyone who could because that would make them better than me. I would be weaker than them. Nothing could be further from the truth, we all have to understand that we are all individuals, looking for what works for us. They have a story to tell that just might help someone else and they shouldn’t feel afraid to tell that story!

The biggest apology I have to make is to the members of the meds section. Because of one person, I painted all the meds members with the same brush, how unfair was that!! Just because I don’t believe in taking a med for every ache and pain I have, or searching for a med that might help me with my recovery, doesn’t mean any one else should. People have become sober with medications, people have become normal drinkers again because of medications, it doesn’t matter how, it just matters that they found what they were looking for, what helped them find the life they want. Would I take a med if it meant I could control my drinking? Probably not, I’ve learned and accepted, happily I might add, that my life is just fine without drinking. But that’s just me, that doesn’t mean that everyone should be like me.

I used to believe, and say, that it didn’t matter what worked for people, as long as it worked. Somewhere along the way that compassion left me. I wanted everyone to be like me, be totally abstinent, do the hard work just like I did. But every form of recovery, no matter what it is, has it’s “hard work” as well. I just didn’t want to admit that to myself.

The meds and mods threads have become pretty quiet, and that’s okay in a sense that the “drama” is gone. But did I play a part in making people afraid to post there? It would make me hypocritical if I did! And I’m sorry if I did! This is an invitation to everyone who is afraid or not sure where to post, you’re welcome to post here, share your story, tell the members what worked for you and what didn’t. But my 2 rules still apply, no bad mouthing anyone else, and no bad mouthing any form of recovery, or type of recovery. I am guilty of those offences, and it’s time to make it right, at least for me…

[mario]

Nice post ABCowboy, My personnel take on recovery's was what ever worked for you & once you yourself was happy with it that's ok, I don't get any of this slagging or putting down of any body's else's way out, There is no one way out, There are numerous & what worked for me certainly might not work for someone else. Having said that my way out is the only one I can share about as that is mine.