Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[Mr Vervill]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

A big congratulations to you Cowboy! Way to go!

[Sunbeam]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Congrats, Cowboy! Well done!

[abcowboy]

I don’t normally share when I get drinking thoughts as they are few and far between, but I want to share what happened Saturday night to let you know that even those of us who have substantial sober time in have to always be on guard as well. I just celebrated 1000 days sober a while back and I’m coming up on my 3rd year of sobriety, and Saturday night I was just a whisper away from getting drunk. It was our last night of harvest and I spent 5 hours of very tough, nerve wracking combining in the last field while the other two operators chose to stay in the best part of the field. I let resentment take over and build. My mind was made up that when we finished, I was going to head for town and buy a 15 pack and tear into it! By the time we finished the field, drove all the equipment home and got it put away, I had changed my mind about drinking. I knew if I drank, as much as I wanted to at that moment, I’d be nothing but just another drunk again.

So, I parked my combine in the shed, cleaned all my stuff out of it, got in my truck and headed to the farm where Bubba and Hank were waiting for me. I didn’t even stick around for the post-harvest party as I wasn’t sure what I might say, and I didn’t want to tempt fate with all the booze that I knew would be brought out. I did thank the Lord for giving me the strength I needed to get through that moment, and had to ask for His forgiveness for the thoughts I was having about the other two operators. I came away with 2 revelations from this experience.

No matter how much sober time I get, I’ll always have to be on guard to keep my AV safely locked away. It can speak it’s soothing voice at almost any time, and can be quite convincing if I let it.

It’s maybe time that I re-think my farming days, when it get’s so bad that I want to drink over it, maybe it’s time to quit. I’ll have to think this over in the coming months before seeding season rolls around.

The bottom line is that I stayed sober, I didn’t fall victim to alcohol once again because I know I don’t have another quit in me. I also know that the Big Guy is on my side, and He’s always got my six if I just ask Him….

[Guitarista]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Good job big fella.

[caysea]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Hi All
CB I know I had times like that in my recovery until further down the road when al really wasn’t even in my brain as a go to.
I also know even with my sober time ther are situations in life that I still don’t have the right tools to deal with. Like you I chose to remove myself form the situation for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing that I will regret latter on.

One of the differences now is the ability to detach and step back from the situation before my emotions take over and especially not let my ego come into play. The situation can be dealt with using our brains instead of the old knee jerk reaction of F these guys I am going to have a few beers and we are going to straighten this shit out.

You did the right thing for sure even in an uncomfortable situation. This is living a sober life and a few years from now the idea of drinking won’t even enter your mind because you will have dealt with many more pain in the ass situations that life throws at us. You and I and others have some good sober time but it doesn’t mean we have all the answers. What we do know is that al is never the answer.

[dill]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Thanks for sharing that, Cowboy. I'm glad your harvest is over. Hoping you'll have more time to spend here now!:happy2:

[abcowboy]

I hope to be around much more often now as well Dill!

[idefineme]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

good work Cowboy! Good to rethink that if you're feeling pressured in any way, to stand away and determine that it's not worth it. Cuz it ain't!

[mollyka]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

I don’t normally share when I get drinking thoughts as they are few and far between, but I want to share what happened Saturday night to let you know that even those of us who have substantial sober time in have to always be on guard as well. I just celebrated 1000 days sober a while back and I’m coming up on my 3rd year of sobriety, and Saturday night I was just a whisper away from getting drunk. It was our last night of harvest and I spent 5 hours of very tough, nerve wracking combining in the last field while the other two operators chose to stay in the best part of the field. I let resentment take over and build. My mind was made up that when we finished, I was going to head for town and buy a 15 pack and tear into it! By the time we finished the field, drove all the equipment home and got it put away, I had changed my mind about drinking. I knew if I drank, as much as I wanted to at that moment, I’d be nothing but just another drunk again.

So, I parked my combine in the shed, cleaned all my stuff out of it, got in my truck and headed to the farm where Bubba and Hank were waiting for me. I didn’t even stick around for the post-harvest party as I wasn’t sure what I might say, and I didn’t want to tempt fate with all the booze that I knew would be brought out. I did thank the Lord for giving me the strength I needed to get through that moment, and had to ask for His forgiveness for the thoughts I was having about the other two operators. I came away with 2 revelations from this experience.

No matter how much sober time I get, I’ll always have to be on guard to keep my AV safely locked away. It can speak it’s soothing voice at almost any time, and can be quite convincing if I let it.

It’s maybe time that I re-think my farming days, when it get’s so bad that I want to drink over it, maybe it’s time to quit. I’ll have to think this over in the coming months before seeding season rolls around.

The bottom line is that I stayed sober, I didn’t fall victim to alcohol once again because I know I don’t have another quit in me. I also know that the Big Guy is on my side, and He’s always got my six if I just ask Him….

We should be extremely grateful when long-termers like yourself post the likes of this -- it shows everyone the potential that is out there for each and every one of us - we can sail along oblivious 99% of the time - and then -- yup -- just as you describe

An exercise I learnt in treatment was to navigate every potential situation that could arise in the future (in my head obviously!) and make sure that the honest answer I give myself is an absolutely unequivocable NO ---
for example
#1 Death or illness of a spouse or parent
2# Wedding of offspring
3#Divorce
4# Stressful new job
5# Retirement
6# Amazing ALL inclusive holiday/cruise

you get my drift
and of course my BIGGIE back in the day
7# 'No one will know - I'll be alone and I'll pick myself up tomorrow'
8# insert your own 'weaknesses'
ALL of these - TODAY - get a resounding NO from my head
so fine -- I'm ok today
will I be ok tomorrow/next week/next year??? who knows?? I certainly don't - so if I question myself and if I amn't happy with my answers then back to the drawing board and work on myself - yup!!

Well done Cowboy

[abcowboy]

Bubba asked me this morning what I thought of the alcohol advertising and social functions that are geared around alcohol. And I told her, to be quite honest, it doesn’t bother me. She seemed a bit upset about something, and being the typical unsuspecting husband, I asked what was bothering her. They had their annual Church Christmas Tea and Bake sale and didn’t have a very good turn out, but an event held the same day that advertised alcohol was sold out!

The Goodlife organization had a wine and cheese Christmas function and had a tremendous turn out. This Goodlife Committee is sponsored by our small town and they put on 4 functions a year to get the local community together to celebrate the benefits of living in a small community. All four functions are alcohol related, wine and cheese, scotch and malt whiskey tasting, craft beer tasting, and liqueur tasting. Hmmmmm, something is wrong with this I think. Is drinking alcohol all there is to do in a small community? What are we teaching our kids and what kind of example are we setting?? And to top it off, a number of the Church ladies, Reverend included, could hardly wait for the sale to end so they could get over to the wine and cheese! I did a bit of researching, and I can’t find any mention of where the profits from these functions go, so I guess I’ll have to call the Town Office to get my question answered.

I know from my years of working for and volunteering with the Ag Society that the real profit from any fundraiser comes from the alcohol sales. I’ll bet if we’d advertised a $50.00 a plate “dry” steak night and dance, we’d lose money because of a lack of ticket sales. But a $30.00 dine and dance with $3.50 drinks always sells out. It’s a sad state when we have to rely on alcohol to keep our Rec Facilities, parks, and playgrounds open….

[Guitarista]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

All four functions are alcohol related, wine and cheese, scotch and malt whiskey tasting, craft beer tasting, and liqueur tasting. Hmmmmm, something is wrong with this I think. Is drinking alcohol all there is to do in a small community? What are we teaching our kids and what kind of example are we setting??!

Yep, spot on AB.

[Guitarista]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

And to top it off, a number of the Church ladies, Reverend included, could hardly wait for the sale to end so they could get over to the wine and cheese!

:harhar:

[dill]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Bubba asked me this morning what I thought of the alcohol advertising and social functions that are geared around alcohol. And I told her, to be quite honest, it doesnÂ’t bother me. She seemed a bit upset about something, and being the typical unsuspecting husband, I asked what was bothering her. They had their annual Church Christmas Tea and Bake sale and didnÂ’t have a very good turn out, but an event held the same day that advertised alcohol was sold out!

The Goodlife organization had a wine and cheese Christmas function and had a tremendous turn out. This Goodlife Committee is sponsored by our small town and they put on 4 functions a year to get the local community together to celebrate the benefits of living in a small community. All four functions are alcohol related, wine and cheese, scotch and malt whiskey tasting, craft beer tasting, and liqueur tasting. Hmmmmm, something is wrong with this I think. Is drinking alcohol all there is to do in a small community? What are we teaching our kids and what kind of example are we setting?? And to top it off, a number of the Church ladies, Reverend included, could hardly wait for the sale to end so they could get over to the wine and cheese! I did a bit of researching, and I canÂ’t find any mention of where the profits from these functions go, so I guess IÂ’ll have to call the Town Office to get my question answered.

I know from my years of working for and volunteering with the Ag Society that the real profit from any fundraiser comes from the alcohol sales. I’ll bet if we’d advertised a $50.00 a plate “dry” steak night and dance, we’d lose money because of a lack of ticket sales. But a $30.00 dine and dance with $3.50 drinks always sells out. It’s a sad state when we have to rely on alcohol to keep our Rec Facilities, parks, and playgrounds open….

I've thought about this post for several days now because I wasn't really sure what I thought or felt about the issue at first. I think after several days of thought and going back and forth in my opinion, ....it is complicated! LOL! I have always felt, and still do, that there is nothing wrong with having alcohol at social functions and fundraising events because I believe in "everything in moderation". For those who can enjoy a drink or two without over doing, I just don't see the harm. But as far as what we are teaching our children and what example we are setting, well I think we are setting a healthy example if we have a balance of social events, some with and some without alcohol. It is up to each individual attending the event where alcohol is served to be responsible for their own behavior. And if someone in attendance is not moderate, well we can always talk about what we have seen and what we think is right and wrong behavior and why. The so-called 'teachable moment'.

The reason I vacillated so much about this is because of my personal issues with alcohol. But everyone else does not have these same issues. If having alcohol at the event increases the take, then I say go for it.

My suggestion to Mrs. ABC (not that she asked me! HA!) is to make sure in the future that the Church Christmas Tea and Bake sale is not on the same day as the Goodlife function!:happy2:

I'm not sure if you were asking for opinion, so I hope I haven't butted in with mine where none were requested. Just adding to the conversation in my humble way and I hope it is accepted in that light.

[narilly]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

That was a great answer Dill. I think that would be the best strategy, to hold the event on a different day. I know you didn't ask Cowboy, but I second that!

I am just looking around the site and thought I would drop in. Yes, I really do want to be sober and I AM!

[abcowboy]

I enjoy reading everyone's opinions on what I post [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION]. My way of thinking on an issue isn't always the right way at looking at things, and the other comments help me to see many different sides to the same story.

But, I’m not going to mess with the Church ladies lol, and I’ll bet they check the calendar before setting the Bake Sale next year!

I’m much more “open” to alcohol advertising, sales, etc than Bubba is. Maybe because she lived first hand what alcohol abuse and addiction does. I could care less how much people drink, where they drink, or why they drink, as long as they aren’t breaking any laws. God knows how many laws I broke when I was drinking! Even when I was bartending at one of the Ag Society’s fundraisers, we sold tickets to people who obviously shouldn’t be drinking anymore. But if they wanted $50 worth of tickets just before ticket sales ended, we sold them to the person knowing full well most of the tickets would go into the garbage and it was pure profit. We did have taxi service available, and reminded people not to drink and drive. Looking back, I realize it wasn’t the responsible thing to do, and I was breaking the law by selling them the tickets. But the profits were in the ticket sales, so it seemed that made it okay.

Now, I only concern myself with the people who are drinking and driving, and those who are looking for help with their drinking. Would I report an impaired driver? Darn right I would if they were a danger to other people on the road. Would I help someone who reaches out to me for help with their drinking problem? Darn right I do! I also know the problems that alcohol abuse causes, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

As far as kids go, young minds are very impressionable. The booze commercials show how much fun drinking is, they don’t show the down side to it. But the organizations such as MADD, don’t have the resources that the distilleries and breweries do, so we probably see 10 times more ads promoting drinking. My kids also know the problems caused by excessive drinking, and I hope that when they reach for that 3rd or 4th drink, they think of me and change their mind. They know that alcohol isn’t allowed in our house, but they are still spending 3 days and 2 nights with us over Christmas. They know that you can have as much fun without having even 1 drink. I don’t see anything wrong with letting kids know that any amount of drinking can lead to problems. One can only guess where the rapid legalization of pot is going to lead. Funny how the world revolves around money….