Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[lloydlady]

Belated Happy Anniversary to you and Bubba ABC!

[abcowboy]

Thanks LL, it was a quiet celebration lol!

[abcowboy]

I’m not sure how much help self-help books are; I know they never worked for me but everyone is different. I knew I had a drinking problem, I didn’t need to read someone telling me I did. I knew there were many different ways to get sober, I just had to find the one that worked for me.

I do know that no book (except maybe the Bible if I’d been that smart) would have prevented my slips, I was bound and determined to get drunk, nothing I could have read would have stopped that. And people will say that you should learn everything you can about your addiction so that you’ll be better equipped to deal with it. Well, I don’t believe in the messed up brain wiring theory or else everyone would need some sort of medication to fix the wiring. So just what can I read that would help? I don’t know, but I do know a lot of people who have read and researched on end, and they are still drinking. And I really wonder how much of that information we really retain until we're ready to retain it, then the point of reading it is moot to me.

And I definitely don’t want to read anything about alcohol now, I left alcohol behind me and don’t need reminders about what it will do to me. But reading is a good way to take your thoughts away from drinking, so if the self-help books work for you, by all means read them! Give me a good old murder mystery any day to get my thinking away from drinking!

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[Siren53]

I'm loving your thoughtful posts, AB. I'm one who relies on meds to stay sober for now. Maybe forever, who knows? I can't drink on Antabuse, so there is no decision making process for me beyond take the pill or don't take the pill. But my boyfriend is supportive of my desire not to drink right now, as it truly does affect my sleeping and my depression. I'm trying to get back to the place where my health is more important to me than a stupid drink. I need to find my equilibrium again and for now meds help with that. Funny thing is - I sleep better but I still wake up feeling a bit hungover. I wonder if it's this way for others. It's possible I'm just dehydrated.

[abcowboy]

I wonder Siren how many people are like me; I’d never heard of Antabuse or any of the other medications available for AUD until I joined MWO. And not that I have anything against them, I’m just not a medication type person, I don’t even take aspirin for headaches, just tough my way through it. But a few years ago I didn’t have a smartphone, an iPad, tablet, etc. But I have all of those now because they assist me in getting through my day. Technology and medicine has grown in leaps and bounds in the past little while and who knows where it will stop. If there is a drug out there, or anything for that matter, that helps people get and stay sober then I say go for it, if it works for you!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that to my knowledge there is no magic pill, no sure-fire method, no spectacular book that will get people sober and stay sober. There are many ways and things to help find lasting sobriety but it still has to start with you, you have to do the work. There is no easy fix but I think people still look for it, try to find the easy way out. Until something else comes along, and it will, we have to use what tools we have. Sobriety starts and ends with each individual, whatever works for you is what you should hold on to!

[abcowboy]

Well, I guess it’s time to get back to my own thread and stay here. It seems that I can’t do much of anything right. I post on another thread and I hear about it, I don’t post on someone’s thread and I hear about it, I even hear about some of the posts I put on my own thread lol. So, as not to hurt anyone feelings, I’ll just stick to the 2 threads I usually post on and occasionally check in at the Roll Call.

I know I can come across as a bit strong in my convictions, that’s just me, and I strongly believe that anyone can get and stay sober if they want it bad enough. I am no better or no worse than anyone else, I am no smarter or dumber than anyone else, and I am no soberer than anyone else. I maybe have a better opinion of myself than other people do, but that’s because I have learned to accept and appreciate the person that I have become. And my opinions are just that, my opinions. You can take them or leave them, as I don’t direct them at anyone in particular unless I’m addressing someone. And if you have no interest in what I say, then don’t read what I write.

I am here and posting in the hopes that my experience and my thoughts will help someone realize that they are no different than me. That we have shared the same past and can look forward to a better future. And that future is within grasp for all of us, you just have to work at it. There’s no easy way out, there’s only your way out, never stop searching until you find it….

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[abcowboy]

Bubba often comments about how much calmer I am and more relaxed since I quit drinking. I never really thought about it, until today. We were at the farm for the weekend and yesterday I finally got around to putting up the overhead door in my new shop. It went better than I expected and then put up the garage door opener for it. It went pretty good as well until it came time to set the up and down travel limits. Nothing I did made it work, the door wouldn’t move either way. I read through the instructions a few times, making sure I was doing it right. After an hour and a half of doing everything I could think of, I finally called the 1-800 support line. Of course they aren’t there Sunday's and I should have known that lol. So it had to wait till today. Turns out I was doing everything right, I just got a defective unit. Just have to fax them the purchase receipt and they’ll ship me out a new one.

Had the above happened 2 years ago, I would have been half hammered, cursing, and throwing things around! Expecting them to be open 24/7 on the support help line. Then hungover this morning I’d have phoned and gave them a piece of my mind which would probably ended up with them hanging up on me. But being sober, I was calm, cool, collected and did everything the support person asked me to do. It wasn’t her fault that I got a defective unit, these things happen. It was no one’s fault, and better that I got it because I’m in no hurry than someone out on a remote location with extended travelling time and an irate customer who needed the door working that day.

Alcohol affects us in so many different ways, it clouds our judgement, turns us into irrational human beings, and makes us think we are more important than everyone else! I’m more than happy that I left behind that angry, obnoxious person that alcohol turned me into. And I know the support lady appreciated it as well because she thanked me for being patient!

Now, just to find that darned receipt lol…….

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[Guitarista]

Lol AB. Keep doing what you're doing buddy. You are appreciated 'round here.

[starty]

B
Alcohol affects us in so many different ways, it clouds our judgement, turns us into irrational human beings, and makes us think we are more important than everyone else! I’m more than happy that I left behind that angry, obnoxious person that alcohol turned me into. And I know the support lady appreciated it as well because she thanked me for being patient!

Now, just to find that darned receipt lol…….

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And yet we drink to relax :shocked: Madness innit ?

[SnoopyC]

ABcowboy,
I really appreciate your posts, you clearly appreciate all the benefits of getting and staying AF. People just do it differently, that's all. It is nice to feel calm and less irritable, being AF. Have a good one.

[abcowboy]

Last night idefineme and I were chatting and she mentioned how lucky I am. When I crawled into bed last night I said my nightly prayer then thought about her comment. Boy, life doesn’t get much better than this, at least for me anyway. I never realized just how lucky I am till she pointed it out to me! I have so many things to be grateful, too many to mention. But for now…

In spring and fall, I get to do something that I love to do, help the neighbours with farming. I don’t get rich from it, truth be told, I lose money every hour I spend on a piece of farm equipment. But it isn’t always about money, sometimes it’s just about helping someone in need. I’m in the combine right now combining canola. It’s a beautiful day out, perfect harvest weather. The crop is running through smooth, great tunes on the radio, and I’m loving every minute of it.

Before I quit drinking for good, it wasn’t like that. I was usually hungover in the mornings, the noise from the combine making my headache worse. Couldn’t drink enough coffee or water to get rid of my dry mouth, and counted the hours till we’d be done for the day and I could have a few cool ones. I didn’t appreciate the beauty of the land around me, the fresh country air, the smell of a freshly combined field, and eating supper in the field off the tailgate of a pickup truck.

Sobriety has helped make me a lucky man, and gratitude reinforces my sobriety. It doesn’t have to be the huge things to make us appreciate being sober, the little things are just important. Things that we see and do everyday, but just took for granted. Thank you idef for reminding me, I am indeed a very lucky man...

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[tonyniceday]

Great post AB

[abcowboy]

It always seems to be a struggle when we first attempt to quit drinking. And I say "attempt" because that's what it really is. If you're like me, and I think most people are, we have this attitude that we can quit whenever we want, that nothing can have that big of a hold on us. But when we quit a few times, numerous times, and invariably always end up back drinking we start to understand that we were wrong, alcohol does have that big of a hold on us. That's the acceptance part, we admitted we had a problem when we first looked for help. We accepted that we had a problem when we kept letting alcohol control us.

The struggles we go through when we first try to quit are very good lessons, if we use them as that. What happened that made us pick up again? What will we change the next time we face that issue? We all face those very same things and it gets easier to find the answers the more times we do anything else other than drink. You have those answers already, you know it, I know it, but drinking seems to be the easy way out. It really isn't though, it just makes everything harder. But, you already know that. You can do this, get through today and "rinse and repeat" tomorrow. Stay connected to your support group, and never, never give up no matter how many Day 1's you've had, make your last day 1 be your last.

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[abcowboy]

Commitment, simple word but an act we all find so hard to do. I never counted days and still don’t. I didn’t think it was helping me. I do post everyday in the 24 Hour Club, over 600 days without fail and can’t see myself ever stopping. That got me to thinking about what “roll calls”, “checking in”, or the 24 Hour Club really mean. It really means commitment, committed to doing our best to rid ourselves of alcohol.

I know life is busy for most of us, but I’m sure we can find the time it takes to log in and prove to yourself that you can be committed. And I think it’s a good reminder to ourselves, if we can be committed to something as simple as that, we can be committed to remaining AF. It works for me, or at least it has for the past 600 and some days. So why not make a pledge to yourself, that you’ll find the time to log in everyday and show that you are committed to breaking free from the chains of addiction, you’ll be helping yourself and others....

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[abcowboy]

Something has been bothering me most of the week and I think this is the place I want to get it off my chest. I feel bad, I feel like I let a friend down, and I want to apologize. I’m sorry Pauly for being insensitive to your needs. I should have been more attentive. No, I was attentive, I was just lazy. And maybe my laziness was a contributing factor in a slip. Let me explain…

I read this last Monday morning;

6:42 am in Vegas another 24 with extra enforcement today please

I had intentions of posting or messaging Pauly to offer any support she needed that day, extra encouragement, or whatever else I could do to help her through. I got busy and didn’t do it, that is no excuse I know, but maybe, just maybe I could have said something that would have helped.

So I want to talk about reaching out, how it goes both ways. We always tell people to reach out to others for help and support when the going gets tough, but what about the rest of us? Shouldn’t we reach out and offer that help and support when we see someone in distress? I think so, at least for myself anyway. I’m a pretty thick-skinned old coot and can take a lot, so I feel I should reach out to those who I think need a bit extra even if it means getting yelled at. I’d sooner get yelled at than feel what I felt all week. And maybe that unwelcomed support did some good, I won’t know unless I try. It all goes back to service, to helping and supporting someone struggling. So I’m no longer going to be lazy, no more excuses for not offering support, I’m just going to do it and let the cards fall where they may.

I didn’t mean to single you out Pauly and I hope you don’t take offense to this as it’s my humble way of saying sorry, I should have been there for you…

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