Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[mario]

I don't have all the answers, no one does. I'm just pointing out what worked for me and others who I've talked to. A possibility of relapse is in everyones future, but I choose to believe that my want to stay sober will overpower any want or need to drink.

This is so true abcowboy. some great reads in this thread.

[madonmehndi]

We have a nativity scene and a homemade Advent Calendar

Love the little Charlie Brown story

[abcowboy]

I find it interesting that so many of us find it difficult to get in the Christmas spirit. As I read through the threads and see where everyone is decorating the house and remembering that it was times like that where they would have a few drinks while putting up those decorations, a few beers, a shot or two, a glass of wine, and then ended up being half drunk before the decorations were finished. Been there, done that lol.

I remember when Bubba and I first got together, I think the fact that I had 4 kids was a bit overwhelming for her at first, but she got into the role as step-mom pretty fast and it’s great to see the love shared between the kids and her. The visitation rights I had were kids at every second Christmas and Easter, and every second weekend, and every Tuesday and Thursday evening. A shock for a lady who wasn’t used to having any children around lol. Back then when the kids were little, we also decorated the house. The outside of the house was lit up like the 4th. of July, Christmas lights on the house everywhere, in the tress, big red bows hanging, real Christmas tree all decorated up in the corner, the whole nine yards.

As the kids grew up and moved away, the decorations got fewer and fewer, till now all we do is the Advent Wreath and Nativity Scene. Not even a Christmas tree anymore! (Hank has a lot to do with that lol). And I remember setting up our first Nativity Scene together, the stable, the star, animals, 3 wise men, the angel, Mary and Joseph, and the crib. Bubba put the baby Jesus in the crib and I stopped her, said nope, put Him back in the box, He goes in the crib Christmas morning! That was the tradition at my house when I grew up, before one present got opened on Christmas morning, we all gathered around the Nativity Scene and sang Hark the Herald Angels Sing as my mom put baby Jesus in the crib.

It’s easy to get into the Christmas spirit if we remember back to the days when we didn’t need to drink to get in the mood. To celebrate the season with family and friends without worrying about drinking. To wake up each morning with a clear head, grateful to be sober. And to realize that we don’t need a drink to enjoy the season, just appreciate everything we already have….

[abcowboy]

And to add a little to my post above, this morning I'm just looking out the window watching the snow fall and just thinking and being grateful. I remember most Christmas's in the past, I'd be sitting here with a half and half, half coffee, half Bailey's looking at the Christmas tree and thinking "yup, I really have to quit setting up the tree when I'm drunk..."

tree.jpg

[Wilson1]

I’m not sure what makes the Christmas season such a drinking season, I’ve been to 5 small jobs in the past 2 days and at every job I was offered a Christmas drink, no matter what time of day it was. I gratefully declined, invoiced them, wished them a Merry Christmas, and went on my way. And in our local paper, one of the taxi services is offering a “Christmas Party Pickup”, reduced rates to help prevent drinking and driving, along with group rates. Why not all year long then?? But it’s nice to see him offer the service since there is so much partying going on this time of year.

And the houses I’ve been in have all been decorated up for the season, Christmas trees complete with presents, ribbons and bows, festive season candles burning, and the side table filled with alcoholic beverages of all kinds. Not one house did I go in have an Advent Wreath or Nativity Scene set up. It got me to wondering what the majority of people think Christmas is all about.

As I was driving home I got to thinking about what Christmas really means to me, am I caught up in all the commercialization of the season? And what would I really wish for Christmas if my wishes came true. So I thought that this evening, I would make out my Christmas Wish List, heck, I might even get one of those pre-addressed envelopes to Santa that you see in the Post Office and send it off to Santa lol. Then I thought it would be nice to see what all the members of MWO would write on their Christmas list so I thought an MWO Christmas wish list might be a cool idea!

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ABC, my list would be very simple:
(1) Multi millions of dollars of cash for me
and
(2) Peace, happiness, and contentment to rein in each of our lives -whatever that may or not mean to each of us

(Just kidding about number one of course -I would be miserable and unlikely to live for long.)

[mario]

Actually this year I am not caught up in as much as the commercial side of Christmas as before, and it's a good feeling, I am going home to see my family children & grandchildren , that's what it's about for me this year. That is the plan.

[abcowboy]

Was just over on Maddy’s thread replying to a couple of her posts and it got me to thinking about the AL rules in our home. It started with serving alcoholic Christmas Pudding to guests or get the AF kind. I told her to get the AF one, her house, her rules. Then she wondered about how other members felt about their spouses drinking in front of them, that’s a bit more complicated I think. But if it’s a big trigger for you if your spouse drinks in front of you, explain it to them and remove yourself from the situation if need be.

As far as our house goes, it was strictly an AF zone for the first year, none, absolutely zero alcohol was allowed in our house. We have relaxed the rule a wee bit, there is no alcohol in our house, if you feel you need to drink while we visit or celebrate then you have to bring your own, and take whatever is left over with you when you leave. Our house, our rules. It’s not that it bothers me to be around alcohol or people who are drinking, and my sober time has a lot to do with that. It’s just what Bubba and I feel about alcohol, and some people have brought their own drinks and taken the leftovers. I’m good with that.

It’s tougher this time of year with all the Christmas drinks being offered, and in most cases, expected. But once people know your wishes, it won’t take long for them to respect them year round….

[mario]

Hi abcowboy,

Well I hadn't got a house when I stopped, still don't :-)

When I stopped i wouldn't go near Alcohol free beer or wine to be honest , For me drink was to get drunk on & the taste very seldom got in the way. Still wouldn't touch it now but I am ok around alcohol & people for a short while, then in most cases I move on.

[abcowboy]

**WARNING** This post is going to be about Christmas and God, if you are a non-believer, you may want to skip reading this, or maybe you should read this….

I was born, baptized, and raised Roman Catholic. I believe in God, I believe it was God who played the biggest role in me getting sober. But I don’t attend any Church services, I don’t need a Church to believe in God. Bubba was born, baptized, and raised Ukrainian Catholic. She has a stronger faith in God than I do. She takes our 94 year old widowed next door neighbour to the Anglican Church every Sunday. She rarely goes to a Ukrainian Church service.

There are many, many religions and I’m not here to debate the ins and outs of any of them, nor am I going to debate the issue of God, I’m just going to tell you about how I felt last night, and how my belief in God was renewed in me once again.

Some of you might remember that I did the mechanical work (plumbing and heating) in a huge Mennonite church/school/hall combination building. It was way to big of a job for a small company like mine, but they couldn’t even get a quote from another contractor so they said they were okay with how long it would take me to do the job as long as I would commit to doing it. Well, I did it, and it turned out way better than I expected! That was two years ago. We were invited to the opening service in July of 2015 but it was the same weekend as our family reunion. We then got an invitation to their Christmas concert last December, but it was near blizzard conditions that night so we didn’t go. And we got an invitation to the Christmas concert this year, so last night braving the -32C temp, Bubba and I got in the car and drove the 45 minutes out to the new building. The only thing that would make you feel like you were in a Church was the rows of pews. There are no pictures, no icons, no crosses, nothing except hymnals on each pew. There is no organ or piano, no musical instrument, just the sound system.

For the next 2 hours, we were treated to singing and story telling by the school kids. It sent tingles down my spine. Every single child from the school participated. The kids up to senior high did their best, singing out as loud as they could with smiles on their faces about the coming birth of our Savior. The high school students put on a performance that rivalled any choir that I’ve heard. And all of it done acapella! It was simply amazing and moving to see and hear these kids profess their faith in the Lord.

So if you’re wondering about Christmas, wondering about God, wondering what the Holy Trinity can do for you, you don’t have to believe me, just go attend one of your area school Christmas concerts, you’ll see and experience faith at it’s purest level…..

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[abcowboy]

I spent Monday and Tuesday setting up a solar powered wet well so that the cattle would have fresh water when we turn them into the cornfield. The farm boss and his dad worked cattle on Tuesday getting them prepped to turn out into the corn. I would have much rather spent the day on horseback working cattle on Tuesday, but the well had to get finished and ready for the herd.

When I finished Tuesday and everything was working just right, I loaded up the truck and headed for the cattleyard to maybe help out a bit. When I got there, everything was done and it looked like all the men were in the mobile home so I headed up there. There were 5 guys sitting around the table having a few drinks. A couple of the local Hutterite fellas, another neighbour, and the two farm bosses. The older farm boss pulled out a chair for me, opened the fridge, and got me a Pepsi! How cool was that?? One of the Hutterite fellas that I’ve known for years but haven’t seen for a long time, poured a healthy shot of whiskey in a glass and passed it to me saying I needed to join them in a Christmas drink. I explained that I quit almost 2 years ago because the alcohol took over my life and if I was going to have a drink with them, they would get what he poured in the glass for me because I’d drink the whole bottle myself! That brought a few chuckles from everyone and the older farm boss said they’d seen me at my worst and since I quit drinking I’ve just got better and better at everything around the farm. They weren’t sure how they would replace me if I ever stopped helping them.

It makes a fella feel good when you hear things like that, know that people appreciate the fact that you quit drinking, and don’t try to force it on you. Know that what we’re doing is what’s right for us. It’s important to keep your resolve when put in the situation like I was, can’t have a Christmas drink with the rest of the fellas because 1 would be just the start, never the end. And the best part of it all, I didn’t feel out of place for the two hours I visited with them! After the initial non-drinking conversation, not another word was said about it. But just before I left, I did remind them about drinking and driving and there’s lots of check stops this time of year! I drove home without a worry in the world! Once you get a decent amount of sober time in it get’s easier and easier to say no thanks, I don’t drink and people realize how serious you are about it and even admire you for the changes you are making!

[madonmehndi]

Hi there, I loved your Christmas post, watching children perform/sing is magical, so glad you had such a lovely experience

Also so great that people appreciate and understand you not drinking, your life sounds like something out of a western film to me LOL

[abcowboy]

My life sometimes feels like it is out of a western movie Maddy lol. I love working with cattle, and riding a horse that has some cow savvy, I could only wish that it was my full time job lol. It does remind me of my younger years, the rodeos, rodeo dances, fall-on-your-face drunks. Well, sure glad I left those days behind me and just enjoy the work part of it now! Next time we work with the cattle I'll take some pictures and post them here, it's not all "western movie" good times lol.

[Wilson1]

**WARNING** This post is going to be about Christmas and God, if you are a non-believer, you may want to skip reading this, or maybe you should read this….

I was born, baptized, and raised Roman Catholic. I believe in God, I believe it was God who played the biggest role in me getting sober. But I don’t attend any Church services, I don’t need a Church to believe in God. Bubba was born, baptized, and raised Ukrainian Catholic. She has a stronger faith in God than I do. She takes our 94 year old widowed next door neighbour to the Anglican Church every Sunday. She rarely goes to a Ukrainian Church service.

There are many, many religions and I’m not here to debate the ins and outs of any of them, nor am I going to debate the issue of God, I’m just going to tell you about how I felt last night, and how my belief in God was renewed in me once again.

Some of you might remember that I did the mechanical work (plumbing and heating) in a huge Mennonite church/school/hall combination building. It was way to big of a job for a small company like mine, but they couldn’t even get a quote from another contractor so they said they were okay with how long it would take me to do the job as long as I would commit to doing it. Well, I did it, and it turned out way better than I expected! That was two years ago. We were invited to the opening service in July of 2015 but it was the same weekend as our family reunion. We then got an invitation to their Christmas concert last December, but it was near blizzard conditions that night so we didn’t go. And we got an invitation to the Christmas concert this year, so last night braving the -32C temp, Bubba and I got in the car and drove the 45 minutes out to the new building. The only thing that would make you feel like you were in a Church was the rows of pews. There are no pictures, no icons, no crosses, nothing except hymnals on each pew. There is no organ or piano, no musical instrument, just the sound system.

For the next 2 hours, we were treated to singing and story telling by the school kids. It sent tingles down my spine. Every single child from the school participated. The kids up to senior high did their best, singing out as loud as they could with smiles on their faces about the coming birth of our Savior. The high school students put on a performance that rivalled any choir that I’ve heard. And all of it done acapella! It was simply amazing and moving to see and hear these kids profess their faith in the Lord.

So if you’re wondering about Christmas, wondering about God, wondering what the Holy Trinity can do for you, you don’t have to believe me, just go attend one of your area school Christmas concerts, you’ll see and experience faith at it’s purest level…..

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Nice post ABC. For me, if you can believe that anything, other than yourself, has the ability to love and help you, then you can become home free.

Nice post ABC. For me, if you can believe that anything, other than yourself, has the ability to love and help you, then you can become home free. I do not need to label that which has helped me; instead, i simply just want and and feel a need to pay them with my gratitude.
Just a thought.

[mario]

lovely posts abc, thanks.

[mario]

I find it interesting that so many of us find it difficult to get in the Christmas spirit. As I read through the threads and see where everyone is decorating the house and remembering that it was times like that where they would have a few drinks while putting up those decorations, a few beers, a shot or two, a glass of wine, and then ended up being half drunk before the decorations were finished. Been there, done that lol.

I remember when Bubba and I first got together, I think the fact that I had 4 kids was a bit overwhelming for her at first, but she got into the role as step-mom pretty fast and it’s great to see the love shared between the kids and her. The visitation rights I had were kids at every second Christmas and Easter, and every second weekend, and every Tuesday and Thursday evening. A shock for a lady who wasn’t used to having any children around lol. Back then when the kids were little, we also decorated the house. The outside of the house was lit up like the 4th. of July, Christmas lights on the house everywhere, in the tress, big red bows hanging, real Christmas tree all decorated up in the corner, the whole nine yards.

As the kids grew up and moved away, the decorations got fewer and fewer, till now all we do is the Advent Wreath and Nativity Scene. Not even a Christmas tree anymore! (Hank has a lot to do with that lol). And I remember setting up our first Nativity Scene together, the stable, the star, animals, 3 wise men, the angel, Mary and Joseph, and the crib. Bubba put the baby Jesus in the crib and I stopped her, said nope, put Him back in the box, He goes in the crib Christmas morning! That was the tradition at my house when I grew up, before one present got opened on Christmas morning, we all gathered around the Nativity Scene and sang Hark the Herald Angels Sing as my mom put baby Jesus in the crib.

It’s easy to get into the Christmas spirit if we remember back to the days when we didn’t need to drink to get in the mood. To celebrate the season with family and friends without worrying about drinking. To wake up each morning with a clear head, grateful to be sober. And to realize that we don’t need a drink to enjoy the season, just appreciate everything we already have….

Nice to reread this today.