Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[paulywogg]

Wonderful that your daughter reached out Cowboy,thats a real blessing for the new year

[mario]

Great reading & advise in this thread, thanks ABCowboy.

[abcowboy]

The holiday season is just about over, we don’t do much for decorations, but they stay up till after Ukrainian Christmas, then they get put away for another year. We’re pretty simple country folk, Bubba and I, no seasonal decorating, no holiday decorating, except at Christmas of course, we tend to try and keep our life as uncluttered as possible. I’ve learned to do that with my thoughts as well, keep my mind uncluttered and deal with thoughts one at a time.

I’ll bet when the stores open tomorrow the staff will be busy putting away “everything Christmas” and putting up “everything Valentines” lol. Funny how the stores go from one holiday to the next, profit and loss are all that matter. When I was drinking, the holidays meant extra drinking, if that was possible for me lol, not sure how much “extra” I could fit in a day! But it seemed that every holiday, every long weekend, made it acceptable for anyone and everyone to drink that extra little bit.

I’m sure there were many recovering alcoholics that didn’t make it through this holiday season, easily convincing themselves that “to heck with it, I’ll really get serious about this quitting thing in the New Year, I’m going to enjoy myself one last time!” Then yesterday or today, they look at what they did, what they lost, to have that “one more time, one last drink”. And just around the corner is Valentine’s Day, “well, a glass of wine to share with the love of my life won’t hurt”. But it will, it’ll erase what you’ve accomplished. Then there’s Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, long weekends, vacation time, and the list goes on. It’s really just a list of excuses, and any excuse to drink is good enough for an alcoholic. And if there isn’t a handy excuse, we’ll just make one up!

So if you’re starting this year with a commitment to quitting for good, just like I did many New Years, better start planning for all those excuses to pop up, even the ones you make up. Get a plan in place, get your support mechanisms in order, get a few sober friends that you can get immediate help from when it seems like drinking is the only answer. And next year on January 2, 2018 you’ll be celebrating a whole year sober, proving to yourself and others that it can be done….

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Great post AB, you are such an asset to MWO.

[abcowboy]

You know, it’s a nice feeling to just read through the threads and see everyone helping each other! Lots of times I don’t have much else to add, and there’s not a lot of point just saying what’s already been said.

Sure, those of us with some AF time behind us can tell you it gets easier, that life without booze is so much better, but everyone reads those words with a bit of doubt. “How can it get easier and better when I feel so crappy most of the time?” The first couple of weeks are tough, getting through those initial stages of going AF. Then at a couple of months the pink cloud sets in, you’re so happy and proud of yourself that you can go day to day without picking up that drink! Then along comes months 5 and 6 when you’re wondering where this wonderful AF life is, why aren’t you feeling it? You begin to wonder if you weren’t that bad after all? Maybe you should try and moderate, after all, if you can go 5 or 6 months without drinking, you’ll really didn’t have a problem to begin with did you?

And that’s where the problems start, when you let that little bit of doubt creep in! It’s all about protecting and maintaining your quit when those thoughts occur. So when those thoughts creep in, I don’t think back to all the “wrecks” I had while drinking, I remind myself that I’ve got to where I am now without drinking, I’ve made it to here without picking up a drink, why would drinking make anything better now? I have a great life, I wake up clear-minded ready to take on the days problems, and know that I don’t need a drink to face anything in my life. So when you start to doubt your sobriety, give another day or two, and remember that you really don’t need that drink……

[Lost Soul]

The greatest thing folks like yourself with some AF time behind you can offer is not just words of encouragement (although always helpful!) but by showing us it can be done! Thanks for sharing it with us ABC :happy:

[abcowboy]

Not a whole lot to talk about on my end, but wanted to talk a bit about banned members and drunk posts. One can only wonder why a person who has been banned keeps coming back under a different name, and Wilson is just one of them, there are others as well. A couple of years back, I was banned from Sober Recovery because of drunken posts, funny how those things seem to go together eh! I took my punishment and looked for another forum, found this one and WQD. About a month ago or so, I emailed the site administrators of SR and the moderator I insulted and humbly asked if I could be let back in, made my apologies, explained how I’ve changed, and hoped for the best. A day later I got an email welcoming me back! If you get banned, accept it, then do your time. When you think you’ve changed, don’t sneak in the back door, get your account un-banned. It takes a bit of humility, but it can be done.

As for drunk posts, read the above!! Most if not all of us are guilty of posting when we were drinking or drunk. And I’m going to bet the outcome wasn’t so pleasant. But it is a recovery forum, a recovery forum for alcoholics, so if drunks can’t post here, where can they?? You can post here, but do it in the “Need Help ASAP” or start a thread as to why you are drinking. But no badmouthing other members! All you do is lose a bit of respect that has to be earned back. I know, I’ve been there!

[abcowboy]

Today I am two years sober, on my 60th birthday no less, who would have thought…. And I want to take a moment to congratulate mario once again, who is celebrating 8 years today!! Well done my friend!

I’ve been thinking about my journey over the past couple of days, where I was, where I am now, and where I want to be. And I wanted to write something, witty, brilliant, and smart about my journey and the many, many things I’m grateful for. But I’ve nothing to add to those who have already written about sober birthdays, and to be honest, I couldn’t do justice to a sober life like the rest of them already have.

So, I think I’ll dedicate this post to those who are still struggling, to those who haven’t reached that ever elusive 1 year mark. Now, there are members who have years of sobriety who find themselves starting over. They know what it takes, they know how easy just 1 drink will put them right back into alcohell, but they’ve been there, they know it can be done, they know they can do it. So, this is for the under 1 year people, and not to show or prove it can be done, but to consider themselves, to see what’s missing to get it done.

When you done reading this, I’ve got some homework for you, my thread, my rules lol. Sit down with pen and paper, go back as far as you can remember, and write down the consecutive days you’ve had sober, in all your attempts. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at the number of days, unless this is your first time at quitting lol. I’ll bet some of you have over 365 AF days! One year of no drinking! So, you know you can do it! All you have to do now is get those days put together in a string. Now, to the best of your recollection, write down what caused you to slip after those AF periods. You see where I’m going with this? The homework part! Once you have a list of those reasons/excuses to start drinking again, you need to figure out a way of dealing with them, without alcohol. Everyone has problems, or reasons/excuses to drink, but only alcoholics drink because of them. I know, because I used to drink at everyone and everything. But then I realized and accepted that alcohol only made things worse. Nothing good comes from drinking at anything or anyone, only more heartache. Find the things that make you turn to alcohol, find other ways around those things, and you’ll be well on your way to your 365 day string! It’s all in your mind, you don’t need alcohol, but your mind tries to convince you that you do. And when you really think you need a drink, pull out that piece of paper that you just finished writing to prove to yourself that you don’t need that drink, you only think you do! Train your mind to think of another way to get through those difficult moments. Push alcohol to the furthest recesses of your mind, lock it up, and throw away the key. Take back the control that alcohol took away from you.

What’s in store for me in year 3? I have no idea, but I do know I’ll be able to handle everything if I deal with it just one day at a time, one thought at a time if need be…. So can you… Never doubt your inner strength… And last, but most important, never, ever give up! Never quit on your quit!

[canyouhearme]

Today I am two years sober, on my 60th birthday no less, who would have thought…. And I want to take a moment to congratulate mario once again, who is celebrating 8 years today!! Well done my friend!

I’ve been thinking about my journey over the past couple of days, where I was, where I am now, and where I want to be. And I wanted to write something, witty, brilliant, and smart about my journey and the many, many things I’m grateful for. But I’ve nothing to add to those who have already written about sober birthdays, and to be honest, I couldn’t do justice to a sober life like the rest of them already have.

So, I think I’ll dedicate this post to those who are still struggling, to those who haven’t reached that ever elusive 1 year mark. Now, there are members who have years of sobriety who find themselves starting over. They know what it takes, they know how easy just 1 drink will put them right back into alcohell, but they’ve been there, they know it can be done, they know they can do it. So, this is for the under 1 year people, and not to show or prove it can be done, but to consider themselves, to see what’s missing to get it done.

When you done reading this, I’ve got some homework for you, my thread, my rules lol. Sit down with pen and paper, go back as far as you can remember, and write down the consecutive days you’ve had sober, in all your attempts. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at the number of days, unless this is your first time at quitting lol. I’ll bet some of you have over 365 AF days! One year of no drinking! So, you know you can do it! All you have to do now is get those days put together in a string. Now, to the best of your recollection, write down what caused you to slip after those AF periods. You see where I’m going with this? The homework part! Once you have a list of those reasons/excuses to start drinking again, you need to figure out a way of dealing with them, without alcohol. Everyone has problems, or reasons/excuses to drink, but only alcoholics drink because of them. I know, because I used to drink at everyone and everything. But then I realized and accepted that alcohol only made things worse. Nothing good comes from drinking at anything or anyone, only more heartache. Find the things that make you turn to alcohol, find other ways around those things, and you’ll be well on your way to your 365 day string! It’s all in your mind, you don’t need alcohol, but your mind tries to convince you that you do. And when you really think you need a drink, pull out that piece of paper that you just finished writing to prove to yourself that you don’t need that drink, you only think you do! Train your mind to think of another way to get through those difficult moments. Push alcohol to the furthest recesses of your mind, lock it up, and throw away the key. Take back the control that alcohol took away from you.

What’s in store for me in year 3? I have no idea, but I do know I’ll be able to handle everything if I deal with it just one day at a time, one thought at a time if need be…. So can you… Never doubt your inner strength… And last, but most important, never, ever give up! Never quit on your quit!

What a great, positive post. Thank you ABC. People who suffer from all types of addictions would benefit from reading your post. I also think that people who are addicted would benefit from reading about medications for addictions -at least for some addictions.

[mario]

Congratulations ABCowboy on your birthday and on your two years alcohol free, I love reading your posts, you have a great way with words and you put your message across so strong & positive, Also when I came back to MWO your writings were like a lighthouse to me, Thank you for being here and I hope you have a lovely positive day, :-)

[Pie]

Well done, Cowboy!!

[Guitarista]

Congratulations ABC! 2 years is just maaagnificent. Thanks for sticking around. I enjoy reading your writings too.

And happy birthday mate!

[madonmehndi]

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY COWBOY!!! And thank you for all the help and advice you have given me!

[Lost Soul]

Many congratulations on your two years ABC :welldone:

[NoraC]

:heartbeat:CONGRATULATIONS :welldone::applouse: