Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[abcowboy]

I see it’s been quiet over most of the threads, could be the time of month/year, but the regulars are keeping the threads active and that’s a good thing to show the guests and lurkers that we don’t stray from our support system. And we have a new [MENTION=9640]Forum Manager[/MENTION], hopefully we’ll all do our part and keep his/her job fairly easy!

The geese, crows, and some blue jays are back, and I saw my first gopher yesterday! The big dump of snow we had is almost gone and the grass is pretty well uncovered along with most of the fields. Can’t wait to see the first buds on the trees and everything slowly start to green up. Not to long before I get to climb back aboard my John Deere!

Things have been running along pretty smoothly for me, drinking is a thing of the past and very rarely do I get the “I wishes” anymore. I’m very comfortable and happy being a non-drinker. We spend a lot of our time thinking on the things that trigger us, so we need to spend as much time or more figuring out how we’re going to deal with them. That’s all the part of “the plan” we all need, and half a plan just won’t cut it. Get your plan in place, add to it, change it, do whatever you have to and take it one day at a time..

[abcowboy]

I’m very grateful that [MENTION=9078]Lost Soul[/MENTION] and I were able to work out our differences. It’s crazy how 1 post can create so much animosity, but it does happen. Then a person begins to wonder if what they said didn’t come across very well. And then when she said she was going to take a break from MWO, I wondered if I was the cause. But after thinking about it, I can’t “cause” anyone to do something. Only they can react to what is said, in whatever way they want. It’s no more my fault than it’s my fault if they drink. It all goes back to the 3P’s and learning to accept certain thoughts as just that, thoughts. You don’t need to act on every thought you have.

I’m glad she didn’t stay away for long, we all contribute in one way or another. But sometimes it’s not a bad idea to get away for a while, I know my 5 month hiatus did wonders for me. I spent more time talking with the Big Guy and spent more time on reflecting what sobriety meant to me. I also got to meet a bunch of new people on another forum, and still stay in contact with alot of them. The important thing was, when I left here, I searched and found another support system. I don’t go to AA, but reading around in the forums helps keep me grounded, keeps me always aware that I’m just one drink away…

Yep Lost Soul, I am truly grateful we got to work things out, and I’ll always stay your friend……

[Lost Soul]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

So glad we sorted out stuff :hug:
Though hope you don't feel obligation to be my friend always, I could hurt you & would rather you say if so x I would only learn more :heartbeat:

As much as I have benefited greatly from the 3 principles with addiction, I also disagree with them in the wider context because it matters to me, so sometimes in 'disagreement' we find we are advocating for who & what matters most to ourselves (which differs from person to person). And who knows? In finding our own voice means giving it to someone else who hasn't found theirs yet. I, as always, have hope that matters x

Everything we do makes a difference x

[abcowboy]

Not to worry LS, I'll let you know if you're upsetting me in any way, but I expect the same courtesy from you! And even then, friends forgive and move on! :hug:

And I agree with you to a certain extent on the 3P's. I guess for me it's only 1P, don't let your thoughts control you. We all have thousands of thoughts every day, some of them turn into emotions and then control how we act or react. But when I have a thought that heads me towards a negative reaction, I try and figure out where that thought came from, was it anything I could have control over. If not, I simply let the thought and reaction go. That in itself can take an hour or even a day, but I will do everything in my power to not react negatively if it's nothing I have control over.

[mario]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Not to worry LS, I'll let you know if you're upsetting me in any way, but I expect the same courtesy from you! And even then, friends forgive and move on! :hug:

And I agree with you to a certain extent on the 3P's. I guess for me it's only 1P, don't let your thoughts control you. We all have thousands of thoughts every day, some of them turn into emotions and then control how we act or react. But when I have a thought that heads me towards a negative reaction, I try and figure out where that thought came from, was it anything I could have control over. If not, I simply let the thought and reaction go. That in itself can take an hour or even a day, but I will do everything in my power to not react negatively if it's nothing I have control over.

That's the goal ABcowboy & a goal of mine which I am getting there with constant daily practice, thanks for this thread it helps me a lot in my continuing sobriety journey .

[satz123]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

That's the goal ABcowboy & a goal of mine which I am getting there with constant daily practice, thanks for this thread it helps me a lot in my continuing sobriety journey .

:egad: Mario said the 'J' word ..............

[satz123]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

and the rule of going to bed the same day I woke up in!

LOVE it !!

[mario]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

:egad: Mario said the 'J' word ..............

Satz your a looper x

says one looper to another.

[satz123]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Satz your a looper x

says one looper to another.

Sure we're probably related Mario - apparently, the gene pool here is very small and it could happen. :haha:

[Lost Soul]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Hi ABC, you're doing the right thing, in that you are going with what works for you & fits in with your beliefs :happy2:
I have to agree to disagree with you or anyone on the 3p (on a personal level only) because I have a strong disagreement with the underlying assumption. It's a very conflicting feeling -"because I feel it is not ethical & very wrong of me to disagree with or disprove an idea that's helped so many addicts at MWOF without personally providing a better model. However as proud as I am to be a recovering addict (because it doesn't detract from my journey only enrich it). The part of me I am speaking on behalf of is a mother. My brutal and truthful thoughts are I would without hesitation remove my children from any school that implements the three Ps into its teaching practice & (very over dramatically) & along the lingo of being a "tragic disservice to humanity". This is too big for me to deal with now (my recovery is for me now) but I will before my 15 year plan. because of the risk to children.it's too important to me not to address with the foundation in 9 months x

[abcowboy]

That’s one of the great things about our individual recovery paths LS, we take what works for us and leave the rest!

I did a post in the Nest about a book I read, The Broken Lawyer: A Legal Thriller, and I’m just about finished the second book in that series, A Murder Under the Bridge: A New Broken Lawyer Legal Thriller. The author’s name is Donald L’Abbate and I’ll be looking for more books he penned! They are very much AA based, a bit of sexual innuendo, and a bit of swearing, but it was easy for me to overlook those last 2 things because of the message the books contained. As I said before, I attended AA for a while and found it wasn’t for me, but AA did show me that it was possible to get and stay sober if you wanted it bad enough. Anyway, the books are a great read and serve to remind us how much we’ll gain by getting and staying sober.

We had our first thunder and lightning storm last night and it was another reminder that spring is here! I spent the day re-levelling the camper getting it ready to open up for the year. Can’t wait for our first campfire and roasted smokies! Tomorrow I have a bit to do in the pumphouse to get the water well running, then I’ll start in the greenhouse getting everything ready to plant seeds. It’s amazing how much I can get done in a day if I’m not always stopping to drink!

[Eloise]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Hey Cowboy- I'm still going strong 1055 days today, it's Wednesday here already.
Looking towards the 3 year mark, and yes I still recognize the significance of what Inhave decided to do.
And it was a fantastic idea. Is my life perfect? Nope. But, I can accept and deal with unpleasant moments and people far more effectively now.
I had a few moments yesterday remembering some regretted things I have done. Most important is I won't be repeating those weak moments.
Whoopie!

[abcowboy]

It’s always great to hear from you [MENTION=20160]Eloise[/MENTION]! You and [MENTION=11704]Byrdlady[/MENTION] were the first two to welcome me to MWO and that’s something I’ll never forget! 1055 days dusted and May 17th isn’t that far away and you’ll be celebrating a triple Whoopie!! Congratulations my friend!

We’re not always sure of our decision when we decide to give up drinking. At the time, we wonder if we can do it, if it’s the right thing to do, or if we really want to do it. But as time goes by we start to realize it was the only decision we could make, for ourselves and those around us. We used to drink on the good days, we used to drink on the bad days, heck we drank on any day because that’s what alcoholics do, we drink. But doing it one day at a time makes it simple, not easy, but simple. As I said in the Club this morning, 1 down, 1 to go… that’s all we really have to concern ourselves with…

[Eloise]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Stopping really was the only sensible thing for me to do Cowboy.
My life hadn't gone up in smoke YET, but gosh did I ever miss out on a lot because I needed to be alone with my wine. Silly!

[abcowboy]

Time wasted drinking, how many countless hours did we just throw away trying to get our buzz on. I know for me, I bet it was a minimum of 4 hours a day, 7 days a week that I either spent drinking or thought about drinking! Once you regain those hours, so much more can be accomplished. Take today for instance;

Spent the day at the farm digging out the contaminated dirt in the solarium, cleaned and pruned the climbing rose, went through all my seeds and planting containers and made a list of what I have to purchase. Then I spent some time watching Gertrude and Gus (our Canada Geese that nest each year on one of our ponds) starting on the nest out on the little island in the pond. I walked over the hill to see if Harry and Harriet (the other pair of Canada Geese that nest by the dugout) were back yet. I didn’t see them, but they could have been out feeding, I’ll check again Monday. Then the farm boss stopped by to see if I could start work next week going through the air drills and carts to make all the necessary repairs to get them field ready, and then we visited for a bit after business was taken care of. And I was home safe and sober by 4:00pm! Most of the above wouldn’t have happened if I was still drinking, especially being home by 4 and sober to boot! Time wasted is time you can never get back…