One Step at a Time - July 20016

[NoraC]

Pauly - saw a good line in the Tired of Thinking about Drinking book

One of the reasons we drink is in search of an ‘off’ switch: to quiet our brains, to escape responsibilities, to have ‘me’ time.
If there are coping strategies that are adaptive (make things better) versus maladaptive (make things worse), then drinking is maladaptive. While it may be an off-switch, it creates many other problems at the same time.
It’d be like saying: I’m bored (problem) and so I’m going to slam my hand in a car door so that I’m not bored any more (maladaptive, makes things worse).
A better approach would be: I’m bored (problem), and so I’m going to clean out one drawer in the kitchen (adaptive, helps with boredom, doesn’t create a new problem, makes things better).

Anyway - it's really interesting because it is talking about overwhelm and taking care of ourselves. I wish that I could quote the whole thing. But, I am getting a lot out of this book and I'm glad I bought it. She talks like she GETS it. The anxiety, the overwhelm, the days when all we're going to do is get thru the day. We are not going to worry about the other things for this moment. We are going to get thru the day and if that means we have to go bed at 5:30 pm, then dang it, we'll go to bed at 5:30.

[NoraC]

Does anyone know when AG is going to be home? Feels like she has been gone forever!

[NoraC]

Liz - hope that your mingling is going ok today. :hug: Did you ever find out what the whole thing with the locked doors was when CJ dog sat?

[actiongirl46]

Hi all!! Thanks for thinking of me Nora, I really appreciate it. We are still in Alaska but will be coming home next weekend. I watched a momma and baby moose bed down in my back yard this morning, pretty cool! We do not have internet at the cabin (by choice) but we can get online at the local library. I've checked in occasionally on my phone to read but its hard to post by phone. I'm on my computer today.

I am doing ok. Just ok. The summer culture here revolves around potlucks, music and campfires. Which I love. And obviously, a lot of AL. I've had two AF days. I've had two embarrassing incidents (e.g. 1.dancing at an outdoor concert that I don't remember and 2. having my 14 yr old drive me home from a campfire at 1am). Its not unusual for us to be out that late here OR to have a 14 yr old drive here (its a great place to practice) BUT it wasn't okay to let him drive or me when I was so drunk. SIGH.

I guess the only good news is I have been thinking a lot about not drinking. Nora, I read through your progress thread earlier today and noticed you were trying for a long time too. I find that encouraging. I don't want to give up . . . not yet anyway.

Ok, the above sounds depressing and I'm not really that down! Just a little discouraged I guess. I'll be around more now though.

It looks like everyone is doing well!! I'm so looking forward to helping all of us celebrate Nora's one year in just a few short days!! Take care all - AG

[NoraC]

[NoraC]

AG - all I can say is - don't give up. As you know from reading my story.....there is hope. I had about given up on myself but I was wrong. There is hope. :hug:

I hope that your fun times outweighed the bad incidents. :heartbeat:

[paulywogg]

I agree with Nora AG,never give up,also don't be a stranger! I too used my 15 year old,unlicensed daughter as a designated driver but she was driving me home from work in the city,I really hate admitting that

[Lizann]

Hey guys. AG, I have missed you! I am envious of your time away, but not the al situation. Don't know that I would have done much better.
Pauly, Nora, sending hugs your way. My anxiety is way through the roof today too. I am glad to be home. Mingling today was fine. SIL joined us ( hubs sister) and she was actually quite pleasant, which isn't always the case. After church she came over here and we had coffee and cake, it's been a long time and I must admit I miss those old days. Then Hubby and I attended a wake for a 24 year old guy that was killed last week in a motor cycle accident. I just lost it at the wake. So again I'm headed to the blankie fort. Sounds like a few of us are a bit down and it means the world to me that we can come here and vent with each other, I truly love you all. Gonna watch something funny and lite on tv and call it a night.

[Lizann]

Liz - hope that your mingling is going ok today. :hug: Did you ever find out what the whole thing with the locked doors was when CJ dog sat?

So Cjs boyfriend told her that that's how his parents secure the house when they go away. Water under the bridge, I guess. He came by my nephews grad party last night and all was well. The kids had a lot of fun together.

[NoraC]

:hug: Liz - I'm sorry. Blankie fort up & running today for sure. I've been to two different services for young men in their late teens who died in car accidents. Drinking involved in both of them. I lost it at both of those. One was my best friends nephew.
I'm glad that you were able to enjoy being with your SIL.

[Lizann]

Aww, Nora, you are so sweet. Thank you. Drinking was not a factor in this crash, but speed definitely was. I'm not sure he was wearing a helmet.

[techie]

Thinking of everyone. Have a GREAT week and I will try and check in often. xoxo

That is so sad Nora. I will send the families light!

[NoraC]

Techie - :hug:

Guess - I'm signing off for the night. At least from the computer.....

[SKendall]

Paily, I totally agree with your feelings, I had them once.

[B]Anxiety killer: breathe deeply to a count of four and release to a count of seven, repeat twice.[B] I learned this from Dr, Weil and when I do it in bed, I'm always asleep soon. It's a great cheap and portable way of relaxing, take it anywhere.

AG, great to hear from you. You may have to be on the sober wagon for a while.

Nora, I hate it that you have to scream in the car for release, I really do.

Here's a scoop, my neighbor lets her dogs out, one is a large boxer breed and the other is a Boston terrier and the results are predictable. I mentioned it to her about a month ago, instead of reporting her and the next week the landscapers, cut the grass sending it all over my patio, so I told her again. A friend of mine was walking thru the grass courtyard and slid in it and nothing had been picked up for several days. I knocked on the door with no answer, so I left a note reminding her to be a considerate neighbor and pick it up.

She told me 2 wks ago that I am the best neighbor ever. And now I'm a ch----, A whore, etc. I've tried to talk to her, but she is screaming this stuff through the courtyard with everyone peeking out and I think she is totally incapable of discussing this one on one. There must be arrested development issues here. I'm laughing when I write this because I'm picturing her driving thru the parking lot with her window down screaming like a fishwife like she did on Saturday. Still I would like to walk Peggy without encountering this verbal abuse. Even 4th graders don't do this, do they? Uggh!

[Mr Vervill]

Looks like the blankie fort is full tonight. Sending hugs your way, Pauly, Nora and Liz.
Still hot here, crazy, walked the dog at 9:30 pm and it was still 90F humidity at 70%. It might not seem hot to Pauly and Nora, but that humidity. I'm sure aihfl and Mama have it worse in Florida.
I did spend some quality time at the pool, thanks Rusty. Not mine Nora, a local club where we're members. Always good to cool off in water.
SK, I'm in Southwest Ohio, Cincinnati area, Ohio River valley, that just traps the heat and smog on these summer days. OK, enough whining by me, I'll live.
Young Mr V has an interview for a job in the am. Hoping the best for him.
Later all,
V