One Step at a Time - August 2016

[paulywogg]

:hug:Liz,wonder why it's been so tough for her hubs to find a job? Overqualified maybe? Try not to be sad

[abcowboy]

Hey Liz, I was just thinking to myself after I read your post earlier, I think you mentioned he was an engineer? What is his degree in? Any chance he could start his own firm or do contract work?

And remember the old saying "misery loves company" Don't fall for it, drinking won't help, but you know that already...

[NoraC]

Hugs Liz. The permanent Blankie Fort is open. I know your sister is so much part of you that this is tearing you up. Come here for hugs and to vent and to cry. I love you friend

[actiongirl46]

Hi all - so much going on here.

Nora - thanks for thinking of me (again!) I have been taking the Nal on time EVERY day. Setting the 3:30pm alarm on my phone has been the trick. It even goes off sometimes when I am at meetings at work, but no one even really notices or cares. They of course don't know why the alarm rings or what I am taking. So, any anxiety I had over that part was ridiculous, people aren't really that interested in what you need to do for yourself.

Met with my therapist again today. I am learning that the drinking is really intertwined with so many other issues. I have resolved a lot of them, but not all. But I feel good that I am getting closer.

Sorry, all about me tonight.

I had a chance to read back a few days.

TMH - you are a rock star. Keep it up!!

Pauly, Liz, Nora, Mama, SK, Rusty, Techie, anyone else I missed, you all inspire me so much. Thank you. Love you guys - AG

[Lizann]

AG, thanks for checking in. You are sounding strong. I think you found a great therapist. You go girl.

Thanks for the hugs and support guys! Cowboy, I am not drinking and I don't even have the desire. She doesn't need to worry about me too. Her husband is a 55 yr old mechanical engineer who made a lot of money in his prior job. Near as I can guess, companies can get someone younger at lower salary. He is of course willing to take a cut in salary, but I think that's probably got a lot to do with it. He specializes in defense systems which narrows the job market significantly. Plus the market is saturated as his company layed off about 80 engineers. Gut wrenching to say the least. I did suggest the contract and consulting thing and sissy says nothing is off the table. She needed a shoulder to cry on and I was here. My hubs and I talked about it after and he said they'll be fine. He is the eternal optimist and knows to some extent their financial situation. I slept well.

Thanks for your support and hugs! It means the world to me. Today is another day!

I love you all:heartbeat:

[Eloise]

We are rather in the same boat as your friend Lizann.
It has been 4 years.
Thank god I found this new job, time to look at the reality of the situation.
I have been recently hired, all very uncertain, but school will start in September and I am expected to teach art.
Note: moving to China to get back to work.

Needless to say it is not fun. I would never had come up with such a situation to worry about.

AG, thanks for checking in. You are sounding strong. I think you found a great therapist. You go girl.

Thanks for the hugs and support guys! Cowboy, I am not drinking and I don't even have the desire. She doesn't need to worry about me too. Her husband is a 55 yr old mechanical engineer who made a lot of money in his prior job. Near as I can guess, companies can get someone younger at lower salary. He is of course willing to take a cut in salary, but I think that's probably got a lot to do with it. He specializes in defense systems which narrows the job market significantly. Plus the market is saturated as his company layed off about 80 engineers. Gut wrenching to say the least. I did suggest the contract and consulting thing and sissy says nothing is off the table. She needed a shoulder to cry on and I was here. My hubs and I talked about it after and he said they'll be fine. He is the eternal optimist and knows to some extent their financial situation. I slept well.

Thanks for your support and hugs! It means the world to me. Today is another day!

I love you all:heartbeat:

[aihfl]

Hello everyone. The last month has been a bit of a whirlwind. I went on my first vacation in a long time mid-month. I went to the mountains in Northern Georgia, then came back to Florida by way of Savannah. I looked around town and drove past my late aunt's house in an older Savannah neighborhood, then walked around some cemeteries where family members have been interred (including Bonaventure Cemetery that was made famous in the Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil movie) before hitting the road and coming home. The mountains were great. I didn't do much other than read, binge watch the Olympics, hike, pick fruit (ate the last of my blueberries and peaches yesterday) and dig for fossils, which I found a few interesting ones.

I also moved into a new condo. I am just at the northwestern edge of the Orlando city limits, but I am still in the city (we have large areas of unincorporated county where municipal services and utilities aren't as good) and though I don't have a lake view, the development itself is on a large lake and is only a short walk away. It's great to be a homeowner again. I bought it cash so I only have my $249/mo HOA dues, utilities, property taxes (which for anyone who's owned real estate in other places is comparatively cheap) and insurance. The dog is settling in nicely as well. She has plenty of room to run around and play fetch unlike that broomcloset sized apartment I lived in for a year. I still need to buy a couch and a guest bed sometime soon. I will probably go to IKEA for those.

I just checked on a date calculator and am on day 158, so six months is coming up soon. I still occasionally experience some post acute withdrawal; a few weeks ago I put on some weight and was having trouble sleeping, but then the weight came off and I'm back to sleeping fine. The psych doctor said these symptoms can come and go for a year or even longer. I don't let it bother me. It's interesting how even after almost half a year my brain is still trying to establish some sort of equilibrium.

Oh, and things did not work out in the end with the math prof., but I met a very interesting Italian gal from New York who is the real deal when it comes to NYC Italians. She is a real character. Even if things don't work out with people long term, I am happy just to be meeting a lot of people because it helps me figure out who I am, which was lost after 20+ years worth of marriage and other long-term relationship baggage. And it's fun!

Anyway, I'm off to brave the Sunday crowds at Costco. Just wanted to say hello before August ends.

[mama bear]

Hey guys. I have not read back but I am here and fine. I was in Orlando all day yesterday Aihfl! I was very stressed about driving there as the last time I did, I had that horrible wreck. But JoAnn the Van did great and I made it safe and sound.
Love you all!
I will read back later. Now that I am not working at home, I had to clean and grocery shop all day.
Date night will be seafood. CHEAP!

[NoraC]

Great to see you aihfl. Congrats on all the wonderful new adventures in your life.

Eloise - wow - when did you move to China? I had no idea. Where are you from originally?

Been an extremely lazy day today. Going thru papers and getting a shred pile ready. Been down recently. I think I'm going to try to find an online caregiver's site. I hate to keep coming here and whining about how sad this is all the time. Cause, it's really sad. :sad:

So, now I'm going to unload.....I don't know if I mentioned that during this past weekend, there were a few moments where I was glad that we didn't drink. But.......sort of wished we did. Like the fun, old times. Of course, those fun old times are long gone and it hasn't been fun for years. So, didn't really think of it. Then came home and there was a bottle of wine in the fridge but they finished it that night. And, there has been a bottle of wine on the sink all week that dil used for cooking. I finally moved that one this morning back behind things so it wasn't in my face. It's just weird how all of a sudden these things that haven't been bothering me at all are bothering me now.
I know that I need to stick close around here because I'm feeling vulnerable. So, I'm stuck like glue. lol I don't know how to explain it really because vulnerable is not the right word. But, I just feel on edge....you know how it is when life gets lifey.

[NoraC]

Mama - I owe you and everyone here a big apology. She texted me to tell me she was ok and going to be in Orlando. I did not relay the information like I was supposed to. I'm sorry sweetie. :heartbeat:

[aihfl]

Mama - I'm going to the FSU Ole Miss game on Labor Day since it's at the Citrus Bowl here in Orlando. Can't beat driving the 5 miles downtown vs. the 250-270 miles (depending on route) to Tallahassee. And of course once you get to Tallahassee it takes forever to get anywhere because those small streets can't handle the volume of game day traffic. Anyway, I'm excited - I'm long overdue to see a game in person.

[Lizann]

Nora, I for one don't mind if you vent here! I guess I can't really relate as we cared for my FIL short term here and then most of the time long distance. Please let us help you! We love you and you've got so much to deal with. I so get the wine on the counter thing. I would have trouble with it as well. Practice makes perfect? There is beer in the fridge that doesn't bother me one little bit, open bottle of wine is another whole story. I think an online caregivers site would be a great idea. I know our local hospital here and the hospital where I work offer free caregiver support meetings. They are free, but they are not on a regular basis. And yes I know how you feel when life gets lifey. Give mom a great big hug!

Aihfl, have fun at the football game. I am watching preseason football tonight. I am so glad it's football season. Things sound really good by you, good for you.

[NoraC]

Liz - I have been thinking of your bil. That is such a tough field. I am in the aerospace industry and it fluctuates so much. I know there is a Parker Hannifin in Elyria, Ohio. I wonder if they are hiring. But, that's another big corporation that does big lay offs at times.
And, thanks for all your support. :hug:

Pauly - how are you feeling today?

SK - you really live near some weirdos!

[Lizann]

Thanks Nora. I'll pass that information on to him. :love:

[SKendall]

Lizz, you are so close to your sister like if she scratches, you bleed. Has he approached any headhunters? if not now might be the time. It maybe good to seek out "contractor positions". because many companies do that.

Nora, of course you need to come here and vent. You are loved. I think the online support is an excellent idea. Because I live alone, I am not faced with "surprise bottles", and I don't think about alcohol, BUT the damned wine bottle on the counter would un-nerve me. I did a lot of drinking in the kitchen preparing dinner.

Definitely stick to us like glue, It would be welcome.

Yes, the neighbors are weird. The couple who accused me of taking notes on people claiming they were told my another neighbor that I did that should have egg on their face. I asked her (the other neighbor) what led her to say such a thing said "oh, I just made that up, sorry". Seriously. This is a low income area and I came here temporarily until the house sold. I hope to be out by Halloween. Many people here are mentally or physically challenged, on drugs or just working the system. It's been an education for sure.

I go to a Wednesday support group with people who want to support each other and there is one lady who is beautifully dressed, nice make up in her 50's who sleeps during the entire meeting because she is zonked out on pain meds. I could tell some stories. There is a poor young marine a few doors down who became addicted to heroin whilst in Afghanistan. He od'd and they brought him back, but he is now a vegetable and wails most of the day while his mother tells him to STFU. Just sad.

Hi Momma, any update on your job status?

Hi Ahifl, glad you've got your own place.