One Step at at a Time - September 2016

[Lizann]

Thanks guys. Cowboy that is what i am looking for. I felt unsafe today as it was a questionable area. It was an outpatient rehab and counseling center. I have no problem going to counseling and actually welcome it. I just need to find the right fit for me. Thank you all for your input it means a lot to me. I have done a lot of research this afternoon and will be more discerning in my next choice. I so appreciate your support.
On a lighter note it was Marks birthday today and we celebrate with dinner and then back home for dessert. My hubs and kids are all on board and things are good here again.
Just know I love you all:hug:

[NoraC]

Liz - I think speaking to a counselor is helpful. I do NOT believe that it has to be an addiction counselor. If you find someone that you are comfortable with, then that is when you will open up and be able to share. :hug:
Glad that you had a good time tonight.

[NoraC]

aihfl - wonderful posts today. THANK YOU. All going in my toolbox.

Pauly - sorry about your poor tooth. :sad:

[SKendall]

Liz,




























































































Liz, I understand your compulsion to drink. A wise person on this thread admitted that she didn't want to reach out, she just wanted to drink. That was the spot you were in. There will be a time when you don't want to drink and you will reach out.

I think counselling or a therapist might be good for you because I think you are an anxious person who wants to fix it all. The only responsibility you haveright now is you.

I spent countless hours trying to smooth the way for my kids, and my therapist told me that I had done the best I can and to allows my kids to go their own way. They had a very good foundation, and they both are very successful. Letting them go was painful, but they were starting to resent my helicopter hovering parenting. Sometimes the best parenting is to allow our kids to fly. It will come back in spades, let's not pass our anxiety to our kids, they deserve their own life.

Love you.



`

[NoSugar]

I only went to 3 counselling sessions, 1 hour each for 3 months, it was the best 3 hours I spent in terms of quitting drinking. My counsellor didn't bother with any of my past, just got right to the reasons why I needed alcohol to cope, and it didn't take her long to figure it out. She taught me the 3P's in about an hour, everything we think and do comes from a single thought, it's what we let that thought do to us that gets us into trouble.

Interesting, Cowboy! I've heard 3P practitioners say that they rarely see clients more than a few times, even those with what seem like problems that require ongoing treatment like depression, anxiety, and addiction. Your experience makes me think they might not be exaggerating :smile:! I'm so glad you were directed to a person who was able to help you so quickly and profoundly - you are someone who sounds completely confident in your quit, which is very inspiring.

[abcowboy]

Thank you NS, I am confident in my sobriety but only because I have the tools that I need to keep my quit firm. If I slipped or relapsed it would only be because of stupidity! I’m not a well educated guy but I don’t consider myself stupid either lol.

I use those tools whenever I need to, but the one I use most is the one my counsellor taught me, redirecting my thoughts. The thought process sounds complicated but it really isn’t, once you learn how to control or redirect your thoughts it becomes almost as natural as breathing, you do it without even thinking about it. An example that comes to mind is my ex. She was one of my biggest excuses for drinking. Why? Because she always knew what buttons to push to get me angry. An email or text with some snide remark about my new happy life and success and how I never put any effort into our relationship and I was the cause of all our problems. My anger would hit the roof and I turned to drinking to calm down but it actually let me fuel my anger. I don’t do that anymore, I redirect my thoughts from anger to gratitude, such as it could be worse, I could still be married to her, or she’s lashing out at me because of her unhappiness. Because I redirect my thoughts from anger, she’s no longer an excuse to drink.

I’ve learned to deal with most stressful situations that way, redirecting my thoughts. My counsellor was dead bang on, it wasn’t drinking that was controlling me, it was my thoughts that led me to drinking!

I don’t want to hijack the Steppers thread over the thought process and how everyone can learn to control their thoughts, but the only way I learned it was by going to a counsellor, something I recommend to everyone trying to quit drinking.

[paulywogg]

Quiet here today, did my blood work and felt so nauseous after bleh,maybe cuz I lost blood yesterday from the toof who knows, Kell tested positive for that infection that pregnant women can get from cats!! Toxo something, I remember reading about it but never had cats before so I just didn't think of it,she has a cat but totally forgot that she's not supposed to clean out the cat box,grrr,her doc started her on antibiotics I'm just praying it doesn't infect the baby cuz I was reading about it and it can turn out pretty bad,just trying to think positive, her doc wants her in next week for tests,poor Kell always has to put up with too much bullshit I swear

[Lizann]

Skendall boy did your post hit home with me. Yes that's exactly it. Now just to let it really all go and figure out who I am. I feel I am losing a part of my self worth, if that makes sense. Helping those I love gives me purpose. I did make some contacts today but as it's the weekend, it will wait a few days.
I am so glad it's going to be warm this weekend. Nothing much on the agenda, would just love to relax in the pool.

Pauly hope you feel better and that Kelly is ok too.
Love you all.

[paulywogg]

Was reading about this parasite infection or whatever the hell it is and if the baby gets it, it's serious,miscarriage,stillbirth, blindnes,neurological disorders, etc seems sort of rare though I wonder if she should get a second opinion

[Lizann]

Wow Pauly, that's scary. Was the doctor concerned? Will taking something take care of it?

[paulywogg]

She has to take antibiotics, it's not a huge health hazard to Kellie, it's only if the baby gets it, I'm praying like I've never prayed before, I really wish"stuff" would stop happening but that's not reality is it? Hope everyone has a nice day

[NoraC]

Pauly - I'm praying for them.

Liz- how you feeling?


I'm going to have a massage this morning. I'm nervous. I had one about 15 years ago. I'll give it a try.
Supposed to play bingo tonight and all I want to do is curl up in bed and have a depressed day. Sigh.....

Well, I'll be back after I go get naked and have a stranger touch me all over. If I was in a better mood this could be exciting.:egad:

[SKendall]

Pauly, that is scary and who knew? You and Kellie are in my healing thoughts.

Nora, I hate that you are feeling depressed. Is there any particular issue, or just a combination?

Did anyone see 20/20 last night about Elizabeth Vargas and her alcoholism? It was good and brought up anxiety = a drink = alcoholism.

[red67]

Nora, you have two of my favorite things planned for today, massage and bingo! Add in the grocery shopping and I would be in heaven😁. Relax and enjoy it, you deserve it!

Liz, sorry to hear about the other day. For me, a therapist who dealt with cognitive behavioral therapy helped a lot (and Smart Recovery). Stay strong.

Pauly, I hope everything turns out OK with the baby. Are they able to tell if the baby is affected?

Skendall, have you found a place yet? Do you know where you want to move? How is your doggy doing?

Rusty, how are you? I am so happy that our weather here is getting cooler, I just love fall! I am so excited to go to the fall craft shows. Starting my Christmas shopping early😁

Mama, how is the job? Are you doing the same thing but for less pay? Happy to see you got a new van!

Techie💓💓💓, hope you are doing well in your treatment. You are in my prayers!

I am doing better lately, just relaxing and taking each day one at a time.

Gotta go but I will check in again later.

[Lizann]

Nora, so not my thing, but I hope you enjoy your massage! I am feeling pretty good. Decided my attire for today will be my bathing suit. It's supposed to get to 100 today. I was a little weepy after CJ and joe left for St Croix. It was an early start for a Saturday. The only CJ was weepy about was leaving the ring home. That's my girl.

Anyone else watch 20/20 last night on Elizabeth Vargas? I DVRd and watched it early. Just blew me outta the water! What a brave thing she has done. Diane sawyer said some critics say it might be too soon to write a book. I think it must be very healing, just my opinion though.