One Step at a Time - October 2016

[Lizann]

Hugs Pauly, i get that way a lot too. For me taking ADs has helped significantly. I know you suffer terribly from side effects, i did too. It wasn't easy getting on them, but I am dealing much better now.

AG, I am so glad you checked in. I have been thinking about you.

Nora, we are still looking at venues. One tonight and another on monday night. They have started their registry and things are moving along, engagement photos next week. Life certainly has gotten busy since the engagement.

Nursie, i am glad you decided nit to drink. You are a very brave strong woman. We are here for you.

Having problems with my ipad this morning! Ugh. Mark is home sick today, maybe he can take a look at it. Anyway, both my boys are sick today. This place kinda feels like an infirmary. The boys were so cute at dinner last night, sniffling through it and trying to figure out what i had put on the pork chops (they couldnt taste it). At one point Mark was too tired to chew.

Happy Thursday guys!

[Mr Vervill]

Morning Steppers, checking in, struggling to get back on track, I'll make it. No pity please.
Have not read back, so I don't know what everyone's up to, so, just moving on from here.
Hope everyone's well.
V

[Rusty]

Hi All!!

Nursie-GREAT Job on not drinking!

Pauly-sending soothing vibes your way.

AG!-SO, SO good to see you here!

I got a text from Mama...she has a really bad cold, feels lousy but has her last interview with the new company next week. Fingers and toes crossed for you, Mama! I just hope she gets a great job with a fantastic boss and a big fat raise!

Done a whole day early with work and will enjoy my day as of about 11:00AM.

It was 8 years ago today that my family held their intervention and were dead set on me going to rehab. SO glad I had another plan and found another way out! It was one of the WORST days of my life. The shame I felt....I wanted to die! I never thought I would recover from that humiliation. It took me YEARS to recover from it. As most of you know, it was orchestrated by my sister-in-law, my brother's wife. Obviously, she had seen too many episodes of "Intervention." People should know that interventions really CAN backfire. Theirs did. My anxiety went through the roof and I drank more than I did before then. Life is so much better now!!!

Hello to everyone I missed.

[aihfl]

Intervention is a crap show. They exaggerate and put out outright lies. I remember one episode where it was stated that a woman drank a gallon of vodka a day. The woman was a bit large, but even accounting for her weight, her BAC after drinking a gallon of vodka over 24 hours would be 2. Yes, not .2, 2. That is humanly impossible. Jeff Vanvonderen, the most repellent of the interventionists, is an alcoholic who can't stay sober and is a religious nut to boot. It was finally taken off the air, and it is beyond me why it's back on. It completely misrepresents things on so many levels, but I guess that kind of schadenfreude is what makes for good ratings.

It's been a trying morning for me. My HOA dues payment was returned so I had to call the bank and deal with that crap. I saw the email right before yoga class and it was really difficult to focus which ended up making me more irritated because I enjoy letting my mind go blank during yoga. I'm going to have to set some boundaries with my new gf as well, something my therapist says I need to work on. I bend over backwards to please people at my own expense and then get pissed about it and act passive aggressively instead of just saying no in the first place. I was helping of her students last night and ended up staying way too late, which ended up causing me to sleep through the alarm and almost being late to yoga. I probably wouldn't have gotten up if the dog didn't get me up to tell me it was time for breakfast.

Anyway, today can only get better. I'm going to make pancakes with the Trader Joe's multigrain pancake mix I bought yesterday, put in a half day at work, then head off to a Florida Trail Association meeting this evening.

Have a great day everyone.

[NoraC]

Hello all - really great to have Nursie, AG and Mr V back here!

Things going ok here. I'm at work so busy but that's good right? I don't remember if I told you but I unfollowed my family/friends that post constantly about political crap. So, now my Facebook feed is back to the positive people that I follow. Made me much happier this morning to read my uplifting posts.

Pauly - :hug:

Rusty - that must have been awful!!!

Back to work - :heartbeat:

[Glass Half Empty]

Hello
Friday night here – thank goodness is all I can say!!!

Nursie I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard time when you’ve already been through so much. Do you think this is a result of all your medical issues or is it something more? You said “I'm not where I thought I would be at the age I am.” I don’t know how old you are, but to be honest I think that’s a very common thought when you get to a certain age. I’m definitely not where I thought I’d be either! Please keep posting and staying close to all your friends here. :hug:

[Guitarista]

Yay it's Nursie! :checkin:

Hi Steppers near and not so far. Ride that wild pony to freedom Mr V. You can do it friend. Good to see you. :horse:

Jump on too Rusty!

Hope Mama is ok. L8tr g8trs.

[Rusty]

Mr.G:heartbeat: I'll ride any pony with you. ;-)

Mr. V-great to see you back.

Aihfl-I am sorry you had such a bad day yesterday with the debit card and the bank mess. I hope today is better for you. I saw that episode of "Intervention" where Jeff V. admitted he had a relapse. Candy F. (puke me a river...can't stand that woman) was comforting him. It was so cheesy. I noticed they didn't feature him on any episodes for about a month...but how lame is this...the producers never said if he went to rehab, was put on double-secret probation, or whatever. I quit watching it because it made me want to drink!

Glassy-so good to see you!

I have a boatload of work today now but I will be back later.

Sending sober strength to all my Stepping friends here.

[Rusty]

Hi, I'm back. I was bored doing paperwork. Hahah!

Mr.V-Great to see you back here. We've all been there. AF, then drink....then we swear to ourselves we will never do it again, and then we do. Ugh, the nightmare of addiction. So glad you are back on track.

AG!:yay: I know you are taking the NAL and are you frustrated because you are still drinking? I'm not trying to pry but I was on NAL too for a good while, and it won't magically work for you...you really have to change your habits/routine if you truly want to stop drinking. Longtime sober MWO Member Doggygirl (she has been off MWO for a while now but I think she is 10 years AF now) used to say "I had to change my people, places and things" in order to stay sober. She was right.

This is how I changed my people, places and things: 1) I had to distance myself from a friend who just wanted a drinking buddy for the most part. 2) This was huge: I had to give up going out to dinner at my favorite haunts. A HUGE trigger for drinking was hunger. I misread that cue SO many times. I thought I wanted to drink. I didn't. I wanted to EAT. I keep a cooler in my car and I would keep (I still do this) healthy snacks and prepared salads from Wal-Mart so that when I was hungry, I could reach for my healthy snacks instead of a restaurant with a bar). 3) I always worked out before going to work. I changed my routine and started working out after work...even if had to be 8:00 PM, I still did it because after working out, I didn't feel like drinking...I just wanted to eat something light, shower and go to bed. The physical activity let me blow off steam that had developed during the day and gave me a constructive outlet rather than drinking. The Naltrexone was/is a powerful aid in quitting drinking but I had to do the majority of the work.

Keep posting, AG, Mr. V., Nursie (hugs, sweet woman...you have been through the ringer) and anyone else who is lurking here.

[Rusty]

Nora-how are things at work? Did you have a conversation with your boss and his daughter yet?

Pauly-I know you're off today so do you have a plan in mind? Stay on here and we'll help. :-)

[Glass Half Empty]

I don't remember if I told you but I unfollowed my family/friends that post constantly about political crap. So, now my Facebook feed is back to the positive people that I follow. Made me much happier this morning to read my uplifting posts.

Nora - I have a question for you and anyone else who has done that. Did you tell them first?

I'm about to unfriend someone whose xenophobia is really starting to make me angry. I don't know whether to tell them how I feel first or not.

[Rusty]

Sweet Glassy-I love your posts. You are such a kind woman. You asked if anyone else had "unfriended" someone and I will tell you that no, I did not tell them first. I just dropped them. People have dropped me before and I did not take it personally. One of my friends has over 200"friends" on FB and she found she had to drop some people because she could not keep up with the activities in their lives. They were not close friends...more acquaintances. This was the same in my situation. I reluctantly became "friends" with one of my clients on FB but dropped her because I could not stand her continuous pictures of herself in her belly dancing costume. Um, sorry, lady, but you do not have the bod for a belly dancing costume and my God, don't post it on FB!!! I just worked with her last month and fortunately, she did not mention anything to me. She was her usual self.

Another "friend" was a former client of mine...a single guy who was posting videos of people committing suicide (gunshot to the head) and sexually explicit pics of women. No thanks. Since he was very good to me as a client for a few years, I just dropped him rather than tell him I found his pics and videos to be offensive.

Hopes this helps you, Classy Glassy! :-)

[NoraC]

Morning, morning! Happy POETS day! I'm with Glassie - I am so glad it's Friday.

I didn't unfriend most of the people. I just 'unfollowed' them. Several are family members. One in particular, I like to know what is going on in her life - she has an autistic son, etc. However, 95% of her posts have been political. Not facts - just reposting the different things. It seriously was giving me anxiety. So, I will 'follow' her again in a few months.
But, I didn't tell anyone. I went back & forth on it. But, just decided to do it this way. That way if I want to see something, I can go to their page. Otherwise, I don't see them.

Better get some work done here. Hopefully, I can get my white hair colored today and get it cut from hanging in my eyes.

Have a great day all!!!!

[aihfl]

Ahhhh, Facebook. Thanks everyone for reminding me why I don't have it! :thanks: My friends deserted me in droves during my divorce so I said the hell with it and deleted it. I only have a handful of close friends and we didn't use FB to communicate anyway.

I'm trying to simultaneously juggle solving multiple problems while working. Arrg. But the key thing I've learned in sobriety is that in 4 hours and 15 minutes, it will be the weekend, and in 7 hours, I will be at the movies! We're going to see The Girl on the Train. Didn't do great with the critics, but I liked the trailer for it, so what the hell.

Have a great day everyone, and if I'm not back over the weekend, have a great weekend.

[Lizann]

Happy Friday evening everyone. I wouldn't tell anyone I was unfriending them, I would just do it. I have been I unfriended by a few people, one I'm pretty sure I know why and it's fine with me. She saved me the trouble.

Mr V. Hang in there, we are here for you!

Aihfl i want to see that movie too! My daughter is giving me the book for my birthday (2 weeks). I decided I wanted to read the boom before the movie. My son saw it last week and like you said the critics weren't kind but he thought it was good. Enjoy it.

What is everyone up to this weekend? More venues for us! I'm going out to lunch tomorrow with my sisters for out annual birthday outing. We are going to a Cuban place right on the Hudson River overlooking the NYC skyline. Always a good time.

Rusty thanks for sharing about your intervention the other day. I get why they don't always work. I know I would drink more if they came to me for an intervention. Eight years is a long time ago. How long after the intervention did you finally stop? Hanging out with both my sisters tomorrow alone, I feel might be kinda weird still. Things are just different with us since they found out about my drinking. Chin up and forge ahead. Time for a new normal I guess.

Love you all